[RTerroni]

Since my current Therapist leaving in a few weeks, I will have to start looking for a new Therapist (at the same practice I am currently at) I was wondering what everyone on here thinks are some good qualifications when looking for a Therapist. I know that I want someone who is female (I have always worked with a female Therapist even when I was young, an I feel like they understand me the most) which shouldn't be an issue for me since most (if not all) of the Therapists at this practice are female. I have also mentioned a 15 year age cap (i.e. no more than 15 years older than me) in the past but I am a little flexible with that, at my last session my Therapist mentioned having me see the person who I did my intake which I am open to even though I believe she is slightly more than 15 years older than me, my current Therapist is only 4 years older than me and we worked together well in the brief time we saw each other. It would also be nice to have someone who hugs at more than just the final session (which is the case with my current Therapist), which may have been the reason why my Therapist said in might be good to see the person who did my intake (since I believe she is open to hugging during certain circumstances). Educational background doesn't really mean much to me because as long as I have good chemistry with a Therapist than that is all that matters to me (Educational background is fairly irrelevant).

[HazelGirl]

I would say look for someone who does the type of therapy you want. I think that's very important. Also look at things like out-of-session contact and their various boundary policies.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I would say look for someone who does the type of therapy you want. I think that's very important. Also look at things like out-of-session contact and their various boundary policies.

Yeah I know that is big for me, fortunately my current (soon to be former) Therapist did acknowledge (and even respected) that I see boundaries in a certain way.

[stopdog]

Old, female, willing to stay back and not try to give me advice.

Someone who can meet at weird hours (my t and i often have sessions that wont start til 10 pm and last til 2 in the morning), someone flexible, someone compassionate, someone who freely gives hugs, someone who challenges me and kicks my butt but is also empathetic.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

Someone who can meet at weird hours (my t and i often have sessions that wont start til 10 pm and last til 2 in the morning), someone flexible, someone compassionate, someone who freely gives hugs, someone who challenges me and kicks my butt but is also empathetic.

I wish I could find someone who is available all hours of the day (but its really not practical for me), I would like to find someone who is comfortable giving hugs during a variety of circumstances.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Old, female, willing to stay back and not try to give me advice.

But if you don't want to get any advice from your Therapist than why are you going to Therapy in the first place?

[Mactastic]

For me, the only therapy that I feel is best for me is psychoanalytic because my T and I spend tons of time talking about our relationship, which echos my reasons for therapy...people problems. So I'd start by choosing psychoanalytic, CBT, etc first. I also think gender really matters. I am female and prefer a male (though he's only my first therapist so who am I to say.) My T is my age exactly which can be really weird but again, good practice for working with my peers and I agree with you age matters. Is mid-week contact important to you? If I ever choose another T I will muster the courage to ask if they would allow e-journaling because I can't do therapy well without that "e-processing" my T encourages.

Good luck on your search!

[unlockingsanity]

1. Someone who can offer a flexible session schedule because of my line of work.

2. Someone with a lot of experience. I didn't know how important this was until I started working with someone with a lot of experience. It is a totally different type of experience - in a positive way.

3. Someone who is flexible when it comes to communicating outside of session (eg. email & phone). I rarely use these methods, but I like to know that I can utilize them if necessary.

4. Someone who can set good boundaries, but again, be flexible if need be. I like boundaries and to stay within them, but also appreciate when some can be stretched if the need arises.

5. Someone who keeps the session focussed on me, but who is also willing to take "breaks" during sessions and talk about pointless things if the material is difficult.

6. Most importantly, someone who genuinely understands me. They don't need to have had the same experiences as me, but when a therapist can describe how you feel or how you are viewing a situation exactly right....you know there is a deep understanding. Being understood and experiencing that type of validation has been one of the most healing aspects of therapy for me. I thought my previous therapist understood me, but he didn't. It was empty words from him compared to my current T.

[Victoria'smom]

Someone who isn't scared easily, who has a lot of experience, who is willing to work with as a team member with the rest of my family's drs, and advocate to keep me out of the hospital.

[phaset]

If I was to look again it would be:

1) Female
2) Experienced with my issues.
3) Willing to answer an email every few weeks.
4) Available evenings and weekends. I am sick of people at work knowing I am leaving for some reason.
5) Psychodynamic, but uses other methods too.

[CameraObscura]

I generally start by asking around in my social circles, and what I'm looking for is:

1) Usually male, been in practice for at least ten years
2) Experienced with and comfortable working with the issues I bring to the table
3) Intelligence, sharpness, well-read
4) Doesn't use "blank slate" theory; keeps their stuff out of the room, but is still open and human.
5) Willing to talk about the therapy relationship itself with me, a lot and in depth
6) Available to some degree for between-session contact, especially during intense phases
7) Comfortable with queer and poly issues (or a willingness to learn), comfortable with artists and our common quirks
8) Willing to push me, to be blunt with me, to call me on my BS
9) Not too formal

Oh, and the spark of connection that we can like, trust, and work with one another, have compatible personalities.

So - not much. Finding a therapist has sometimes taken a long time and a lot of consults.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

But if you don't want to get any advice from your Therapist than why are you going to Therapy in the first place?

In my opinion, and in what I have read, their job is not to give advice to anyone. Some of them try to do it anyway. I choose those who will listen when I tell them I don't want their advice. I am not there for a therapist to tell me what to do or what they think about what I do.

For example see
"4. I’m not supposed to give you advice, but I will anyway.

The first thing a young therapist in training learns is that psychotherapy is, Do not give advice to your clients. “If a person needs advice, they should talk to a friend,” one of my professors said in class. And yet, most therapists end up doling out advice as though their client’s lives depended upon it. Even cognitive-behavioral therapists will give advice, disguising it in the form of “homework” — “Why don’t you try keeping a journal of your irrational thoughts?” It’s a successful strategy for most to try, but it’s still advice."
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...wont-tell-you/

[RTerroni]

I would love to have a Therapist who I can e-mail during the week, but at most places I have been to that hasn't been the case.