They were making a joke out of me, and she was laughing with them. I was in psychosis of bipolar depression so I couldn't defend myself.

The ironic part about it was a couple years later during therapy, she told me she'd "never let anyone make fun of" me.

For some reason I'm in a depressed state right now and am thinking about this and never got it resolved with her.

I don't go to her anymore and now I think this will be buried within me forever.

Just wanted to vent out, thanks for reading if you read this.

That's a rotten feeling, to be laughed at, especially by your therapist. I'm sorry you had to have that happen to you.

[newtus]

thats sounds horrible. sorry to hear that.

[Raging Quiet]

Can you raise this with her?

[Blitter2014]

Can you put pen to paper/ keys to keyboard, write out exactly what happened, how it made you feel, how you want it resolved.....put in envelope and leave it there for a set period. One, two weeks. Then decide what you want. ...to send or burn/rip/tare. That way it gives you back some control, because now you decide the option / what happens next. . .

Not for everyone but its worked for me in the past?

Whatever you decide....hugs to you

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[HazelGirl]

Do you have a new therapist? Can you tell him/her about what happened with this old T? That's so horrible and dreadful, and really painful!

[clairelisbeth]

That's an absolutely awful thing for anyone, but especially your T, to do to you! You were in such a vulnerable position, and I can't imagine how hurtful and/or frightening that was. I'm so sorry that that happened to you, and I'm really glad that you vented about it here-it makes total sense that it still hurts you.



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[feralkittymom]

Your T denied it ever happened. Did she lie? You said you were in psychosis; is it possible you misinterpreted some interaction as a result of the psychosis? Are you sure you're not hanging onto bad feelings that have no basis in reality? Do you have a current T who you can talk to about this?

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Your T denied it ever happened. Did she lie? You said you were in psychosis; is it possible you misinterpreted some interaction as a result of the psychosis? Are you sure you're not hanging onto bad feelings that have no basis in reality? Do you have a current T who you can talk to about this?

I could remember the laughs any time. She either denied it bc she forgot or to cover her ***. There were 3 other people laughing at me and I know her voice. It was her voice laughing as well.

Yes I'm going to talk to my current T on Friday about it.

It's terrible to be laughed at by anyone but especially your T. Really, how low can they go? I'm so sorry you had to endure this trauma added to everything else you are dealing with. Despicable.

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by Jemi200

I could remember the laughs any time. She either denied it bc she forgot or to cover her ***. There were 3 other people laughing at me and I know her voice. It was her voice laughing as well.

Yes I'm going to talk to my current T on Friday about it.

I don't think memory necessarily is related to the reality of an experience. It sounds like this happened outside of your sight. Auditory hallucinations--especially of being laughed at or yelled at-- aren't uncommon in psychosis. Maybe it happened, but I would wonder because it's a scene that is very unusual--a circumstance when a group of patients and a T would witness together another patient? How would this happen? What else was happening at the time? I imagine these are questions your current T may ask. Do you trust your current T? Hope you can get it straightened out.

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I don't think memory necessarily is related to the reality of an experience. It sounds like this happened outside of your sight. Auditory hallucinations--especially of being laughed at or yelled at-- aren't uncommon in psychosis. Maybe it happened, but I would wonder because it's a scene that is very unusual--a circumstance when a group of patients and a T would witness together another patient? How would this happen? What else was happening at the time? I imagine these are questions your current T may ask. Do you trust your current T? Hope you can get it straightened out.

These weren't hallucinations. I was in a room with 4 other people and was talking to them beforehand. I'm not writing what the one person said as to how he made fun of me to spark everyone laughing, that would make it seem more 'real' to you.

Thanks.

[kororain]

May I tell you a story?

Last winter, I was not emotionally in a good place.

I love my co-workers very much though. Like family.

We were in the meeting. It was with a software company who was making new software for my business. I was asked to sit in to point out anything missing from the new system, flaws, etc. I'm VERY good at pointing out flaws. I pointed out lots of them.

At a certain point, one of the men from the software company actually looked at me and said, "Time for you to stop talking now."

I think he was annoyed with me pointing out so many flaws, but was also trying to be funny.

I was annoyed, but not hurt because I don't know the guy. I didn't really care about his opinion, and I knew I was there to provide MY opinion. I was doing what my boss asked me to do.

Anyway, the meeting goes on... and then a few minutes later, I'm contributing more to the discussion. One of my co-workers asks me a question. Let's call him Bob. So Bob says to me, "Hey Koro, what do you think about this..."

Before I could respond, he cuts me off and says, "Yeah, it's time for you to stop talking."

Then he turned to a female co-worker and they laughed together HYTERICALLY.

I was SO SO SO hurt. I couldn't believe my co-workers agreed with this software asshole, didn't appreciate my contribution and just thought I should shut up. I was heartbroken.

I couldn't understand. It felt like betrayal and they didn't care for me at all.

BUT, I've told this story to a few other people and they all think what was really happening was that my co-worker was trying to make fun of software guy by asking a question of me, then cutting me off. He was trying to play it like satire to show what a ridiculous asshole that guy was, but his joke fell flat and hurt my feelings instead.

But my friends' point was that because I was in such a defensive position, I didn't get Bob's joke. Bob wasn't making fun of ME, his friend/co-worker. He was making fun of software asshole.

Which could totally be true. I'm not sure because I was already so defensive that I couldn't read those social cues at the time.

And I'm usually great with social cues and nuances, but that day, I'd already been stung and was hiding in my little emotional shell a little.

So if it can happen to me, it could happen to you. Maybe it isn't really what you thought.

[nummy]

Sorry to be blunt, but are you sure it was you??? Why would you think that?
What happened afterwards? Try moving you memory of that event forward, so it ends at a not so traumatic moment. This is a simple trick used for PTSD, and it really does work. Memories made on a warped mind record warped memories, plz remember that, too, ok?