T is finally back from vacation! Somehow sad.....

My T is finally, finally back from her trip. She has been gone for 10 days, which I know isn't that much. It still felt hard though, to not see her for a week and a half.

It also felt hard to know that she was so far away, even during times when I wouldn't be seeing her, and probably would not have gotten in touch with her anyway. It feels safer knowing that she is home and close by.

I'm so glad to finally be seeing her today, but somehow I also feel sad. I feel like an hour just isn't enough. The thing is, I've really been ok while she has been gone. Nothing groundbreaking has happened that is going to take a ton of time to talk about. But I still feel sad, somehow......

I wish there was more time. I wish for something that I can't put my finger on......

Can you tell her this? You might be able to get to the bottom of why you feel this way.

I could....and I should.

I have a lot of trouble telling her that I miss her sometimes or that it's hard for me when she goes away in the moment.

When she tells me that she is going away, and will be out for X amount of time, I sort of go out of my way to show just how very FINE I am with it. (Not in a sarcastic way, but in a look-how-easygoing-I-am way). Like "oh, you're going there? How cool! You're going to be away for a week? Why not 2? Why not a month? Why don't you just move there?" (Ok, I don't actually say that).

I've told her WAY after the fact and we talked about it a very little bit, and she said that when it comes up again, that we should talk about it. I know that she would be completely receptive and understanding and would help me process it. Yet something is blocking me from saying "I've missed you. It's hard for me when you're gone."

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Maybe because it shows a vulnerability and reveals that you want and need to be close to her? Those are scary things to acknowledge.

It definitely is! I don't want to "need" from her, or anyone really. I don't think that I deserve it.

Thanks Hazel I have a session in a bit. These will be good things to bring up.

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I think a lot of us feel this way. When my T went away for 2 weeks it was a struggle. If she's asked you to bring it up I think you should. For me, I get sad because I don't let people in my heart so I miss my "heart person"

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"Heart person"....I really like that Mactastic! I can relate.

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Ok, I saw my T, and I chickened out, sort of....I told her that it was so good to see her, and that I was really glad she was back. I told her how grateful I am to know her. We had a good, connected, productive (somewhat intense) session. But I wasn't able to get the words "I really missed you" out! I felt like I really NEEDED to speak that, but couldn't. At one point, tears were running down my face, but I still couldn't get it out. Why are those words so hard??

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I really think she got the message, even though you weren't able to say it.

I bet she got the message too... I know my T for one is VERY good at hearing things I don't say.