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Poohbah
Member Since May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
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May 31, 2014 at 10:49 PM
#1
Last summer while on vacation in New England I took a photo on the beach. ..I forwarded it to my T. She told me in an email that she really liked this picture (I had sent several). So fast forward almost a year later...I had the picture developed into a 4x7 and put it in a frame. My intention is to bring it with me next week and leave it in the kitchen with T's name on it (she shares her business address with 2 or 3 T's). I am very aware that she may not be able to accept the picture due to boundaries however I'm not 100 per cent certain that she won't accept it either. I can't just give it to her for fear of rejection. ..any thoughts on this?
__________________ "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend You could cut ties with all the lies That you've been living in" |
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 brillskep
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: USA
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May 31, 2014 at 10:51 PM
#2
Can you talk to her about it? Maybe bring it to your next session and discuss it with her?
__________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
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 1stepatatime
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
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May 31, 2014 at 10:58 PM
#3
Quote:
__________________ "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend You could cut ties with all the lies That you've been living in" |
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2014
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May 31, 2014 at 11:02 PM
#4
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__________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
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1stepatatime, anilam
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
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May 31, 2014 at 11:25 PM
#5
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__________________ "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend You could cut ties with all the lies That you've been living in" |
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May 31, 2014 at 11:54 PM
#6
At my last in-person session before my T moved away, I brought her a gift I had made for her (I crocheted a doily and starched it into a bowl) but I didn't get it out right away - I asked first if I could give her a going-away gift. She said well if it's something small that you made or something that would probably be okay. Once she said that I knew that she would be able to accept it, since it was both small and I had made it, and I gave it to her then and she loved it. She mentions it still from time to time when we are talking on the phone ("I'm sitting here at my desk looking at my crocheted bowl you made") I always feel warm inside when she mentions it.
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1stepatatime, Aloneandafraid
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Jun 01, 2014 at 12:27 AM
#7
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My guess is that you will agonize for a week over if she is going to give it back at the next session. That's what I would so anyway. If you talk about it, you will at least have your answer right away. Could you postpone it and start by just mentioning that you would like to give her the printed picture and you wanted to know if she would accept it. That way, if she says no, she isn't rejecting your gift (just the idea if the gift). Might be easier to handle? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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1stepatatime, brillskep
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: Europe
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Jun 01, 2014 at 03:00 AM
#8
I think it's better to give it to her personally if you feel up to it. If she doesn't accept it, she will tell you in person anyway, but I think it's better to give yourself and your therapist the chance to discuss it on the spot and decide together. At least that's what I think. I know when I first gave my therapist a gift (my first therapist pretty much) I was very afraid of him rejecting it (and in my case it was actually something I'd made myself) but I gave it to him face to face in spite of not knowing how he'd react. It was actually a very touchy moment between us with both of us feeling moved. Then again I'm not saying that will be your case, I really can't know that. Just sharing my experience for what it's worth.
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1stepatatime
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Australia
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Jun 01, 2014 at 06:57 AM
#9
I love to draw and last christmas I gave my T one of my drawings that was quite significant to me. He loved it and looked at it for a long time. Made me feel good. I think if its something small and meaningful like your beautiful photo I think your T will love it too.
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1stepatatime, brillskep
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 25
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Jun 01, 2014 at 04:11 PM
#10
If your t isn't able to accept the photo, it won't be a personal thing it will be a professional issue, boundaries. So, maybe you could talk to your t the appropriateness of giving a gift. With my t I felt the same way, so around holidays I would bring in home made cookies, for the whole staff, and something extra for my t. Things have a way of working out, good luck.
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Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: US
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Jun 02, 2014 at 12:35 AM
#11
I think it is something that you need to talk with T about.
If this is a shared office, T can accept it as a gift for the "whole office" as opposed to just one person. That's one way to get around it. It really varies from T to T. |
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Jun 02, 2014 at 08:55 AM
#12
I think it's ridiculous that a T wouldn't accept a small gift that someone gives from the heart. I work in a corporate environment with clients, and extravagent gifts are a no-no. Typically anything in excess of $50, but small gifts are okay. Personally, I believe that any T that turns down a card or other modest token of appreciation in the name of boundaries is an *****. While I think reasonable boundaries are necessary from a T's perspective, making a big BOUNDARIES! deal about nonsense is really counter-productive for client-therapist relationships. Take the gift and say thanks like any other person in the world (professional or not!) would do. Good grief!
 I have given my T a gift or two. Nothing of material value or mixed meaning or romantic in nature. T graciously accepted. I'd really re-consider my relationship with him if he'd reacted in a rejecting way, or shamed me. |
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1stepatatime, Aloneandafraid, Inner_Firefly
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Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 423
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Jun 02, 2014 at 09:52 AM
#13
I have a very good feeling your T will accept the gift. I sounds like a lovely picture she can put on her office wall. Most Ts accept small handmade gifts, because these are gifts from the heart. To reject a gift from the heart is like rejecting you, they know that.
__________________ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. |
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1stepatatime, Aloneandafraid, Inner_Firefly
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Jun 02, 2014 at 07:02 PM
#14
I think it would be a great gift to t
My t and i give each other gifts quite a bit. Its just fun! |
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| SkyWhite
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1stepatatime, SkyWhite
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