How do you feel about your therapist?

Sounds more like a the start of a book called: 101 Ways to Devalue your Therapist.

That's awesome. You said what I didn't really have the words for.

It makes me curious why Stopdog has to keep insisting her T is so terrible. I think she's trying to ignore a lot of her feelings by making her T seems unimportant in her mind. But I don't know her, so I could be wrong.

I think I merely do not over value her. She is paid to provide a service - like a dentist, mechanic, lawyer, etc. I do not see her as more than that. She has done nothing to merit more than that.

I never said she was terrible. In fact I said I do not despise her. I would say she is usual and probably not completely incompetent.

And indeed you most assuredly do not know or understand me.

No, you're right. I am trying to understand you, but I haven't figured you out yet. You're more complex than most people, and much more closed off. You hold the cards to the game, and don't let anyone see them. And you have one heck of a poker face. It's quite impressive. I can find my way around most people (I'm really sensitive), but haven't figured you out yet.

I think you devalue her constantly and have been doing it much more lately for whatever reasons....We are opposites Stopdog!

I disagree with your perception of how I see and deal with therapists. I don't think I devalue the woman at all. I think I value her fairly from my experience with her. I have never said she is all bad. I don't find her gush-worthy. But since I have gotten her to stop trying to talk or be empathic or what ever it was she kept trying to do at me, she is much more useful to me now.

But I do suggest getting back on topic and for you all to stop trying to label/define me.

I'm sorry, Stopdog. Yes, back on topic...

I have a co-worker like you, stopdog. My other co-workers find this person mystifying, but I get where co-worker is coming from. It's a lot of very specific semantics to avoid expressing actual emotion. Or specific words and phrases to incite specific emotions and reactions in others. But there's true emotion. It's all in the eyes. You just gotta know when and how to look for it.

I couldn't pick any of the options for my T either.

I have a very thick armour that I've pulled around myself. I'm very, very, very good at letting other people "connect" with me, but I give them nothing true of myself in return. But the truth is that most people don't really care, you know? Even ones who think we're super close. They just talk and talk and never really find out if there's anything up with me. So generally, I just let them do that.

So like with a T, you have to tell them true and genuine things, or it's pointless. So I tell her all this junk and things are fine. And then I leave. And anywhere from two days to a week later, I decide I hate her. Can't go back. She's horrible. Hate her.

This is my way of protecting myself, obvoiusly.

So I think this time, I worked through that whole "I hate her" thing much more quickly and got past it over the weekend. Yesterday, when I was doing laundry, damned if I didn't think FONDLY of the lady. FONDLY. Me. Thought about her FONDLY. What the hell? Weird.

So I dunno where that falls. And by fondly, I mean like, I just thought to myself, "She's a nice person." That's it. But usually I'm very like, "I hate her. She's trying to make me kill myself. Why is she so horrible. Why is she tormenting me." And so on...

I selected "Care a Little" but I'm between that and "In Love." I have difficulty with that phrase as it seems sexualized and that is so not what I feel for T. I care about her, whether she's doing well in life, if her family is healthy and if she has moments of happiness. I feel cared for by her. I get pissy A LOT with her, 25% of my sessions I'm peeved about something. We agree it is how I deal with feeling love and care.

Outside of therapy, CBT T seems like an older joaquin phoenix. Lust much!!!

Following behind him to the therapy room….a buzz of irritation towards him. I wish I knew what that was about!!

WOW, anyone love their therapist much?? LOL. looking at the responses so far a majority 57% have either feelings of true love or are in love, with another 40% caring at least somewhat (and from what I've seen in the comments a lot who checked care a little said they actually cared a lot, just shy of being "in love."

I don't know about you all but don't you think this is a really high % of people to have such strong feelings? Doesn't this kind of baffle you?

I think we are a self-selecting group…those who feel "meh" about T probably don't spend time on a forum about psychotherapy

I would need something between:
"Ambivalent - Out of session my T never crosses my mind" and"Care a Little - My T is great and I care, but I'm not "in love"".
As writing that T never crosses my mind out of session would never be true as I post here quite often but writing that T is great, and I care much but I'm just not in love is far too far... For me T is neither a mentor nor a friend, more like a colleague/doctor I come, because I need something and T provides (or at least tries) that, of course I have to like a person at least a bit but for sure there is no space for a friendship...

No, it's normal to have strong feelings for the therapist you work it, due to the nature of the work. Frankly, I'm not surprised.

Given they show understanding, patience, sympathy, kindness, are long suffering and seem to always have the answers......it really does mske sense that so many would care....

I mean these are the exact qualities/ type of connection any one of us would look for in a mate / even soal mate.

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I love my therapist very much and I will never, ever forget the impact he had on me.

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Terrified is not on the list. He is nice, but I am absolutely fearful and scared of therapy (and him). I feel sick when I think about going. Not even sure why I am. I just want to get better and not be damaged anymore by myself or anyone else.

Answering "care a little" doesn't honestly feel like "strong feelings" though to me particularly. By the descriptor given with that choice, it simply means we feel our T is "great" (rather broad benign descriptive) and we care. I feel that way about many people in my life, so I don't see it particularly indicating "strong feeling", not anywhere even shy of being "in love".

After reading the options I thought of you and wondered what you would choose. lol There didn't seem to be a fitting "SD answer".