Not sure what to do and how to feel in this situation. Advice?

Since the end of March I've been assessed for Asperger's Syndrome and ADD (I think it might be called ADHD-PI nowadays). The assessment isn't done yet but hopefully it'll finish sometime during the summer. Anyway, while I'm getting assessed I'm supposed to see another psychologist once every two weeks or so to learn how to handle stress etc (and then when the assessment is done they're supposed to figure out exactly what kind of help I need and refer me to someone who can help me with that).

The psychologist and I have had a bit of a hard finding a time to meet up since I'm studying and have quite a bit of mandatory lectures/lab sessions/seminars etc that I have to attend. So far we've only met up once. A while back, after having sent a few emails back and forth, we agreed on meeting up on the 27th of May, but I had to cancel the appointment when one of my lecturers said they'd scheduled a mandatory seminar for that day (which didn't show on the schedule online). After that the psychologist and I sent more emails back and forth trying to book another appointment but that didn't work out. When she once again suggested times that won't work out for me due to things at university (I'm doing a summer research program this summer so I still have a lot of mandatory things I need to attend) I really didn't know what to do about the situation. I emailed her and told her that I unfortunately can't meet up during the times she suggested and then I wrote "I don't really know how to proceed from here. My brain sort of 'freezes' when I think about it and I really don't know what to do now. Do you have any ideas on how we can solve our problem?"

I sent that email early on Friday morning. It's Wednesday afternoon and she still hasn't replied (she's usually replies quite quickly). I now feel like I've probably made her angry or something. I feel like the most annoying patient/client in the world and I feel like I'm a huge burden to the psychologist. The fact that she hasn't answered the email makes me very anxious. It makes me feel anxious because of the whole I-feel-like-a-burden thing and it almost makes me feel abandoned/like she doesn't care. I have no idea why I feel that way and I'm not sure I think it's ok to put that kind of "pressure" on a psychologist (do you know what I mean?) but I can't help feeling this way. Is there something emotionally wrong with me for feeling like this (except for the fact that I'm depressed etc)?

When I get the full schedule for the summer research program (hopefully on Monday) I'm planning on sending her another email where I'll simply make a list of the days and times in June that I'm available and then I'll ask if she's available on any of those days/times (even the thought of sending her yet another email makes me anxious though). Does that sound like good/bad idea? Not sure what else to do.

What would you do? What should I do?

Thanks,

neutrino

(Sorry of this post is a bit incoherent or something.)

I'm sorry that she didn't reply, I would guess that probably right now she doesn't see any good solution as your schedules do not match but she still should have replied... I think that sending another e-mail when you already know the plan for June is a very good idea and that's what I'd do. For sure you are neither a burden nor annoying, you met only once and you are not "bothering" her with all your problems but just try to get the scheduling part right - that's a very positive behavior not negative in my opinion... But I understand the feeling, I also felt similarly when I had some problems with finding a good time slot and in one of the e-mails I apologized my T for bothering her, but she responded that it is not bothering at all as comparing the schedules is very important...

I doubt she is upset with you and behaving passive aggressively. More likely the email got buried in a pile of things to do or inadvertently she deleted it and forgot about it (easy to do).

I think sending your list of available dates and times is probably the best route to go since your schedule seems to be the harder to accommodate.

It's quite likely that she didn't work on Friday. I really don't think she is angry with you - this is a hectic time of year, and email messages do get lost sometimes. It's a good idea to email a list of possible dates and times. If you do that, you are being constructive and helping her help you (which is her job! You are not being a burden. She's there to help you through this, don't forget that.)

I still think it's awesome that you got into the summer research programme.

Could you find a T who is more flexible?

I think it is highly unlikely that she's angry at you or finds you too much.

It actually seems she recognises that you are rather busy due to Uni constraints and is trying to accommodate. The scheduling issue is taking time as it needs some fine-tuning but it seems she is working on it too. Your idea re sending your June availability is a great idea btw. Maybe if weekends are free this could be considered as well?

I know it is awkward to wait around for a response but I am sure she will get back to you accordingly. Could you leave her a voicemail as well, if only to let her know you've emailed new June dates (once you've sent the dates)?

Thanks, everyone. Do you reckon she'd tell me if she was upset with me? I don't know why but I often assume that people are upset with me. I'm so incredibly afraid of making a faux pas that I over-analyze all kinds of social interactions (and other things) and often convince myself that I've made some sort of mistake.

Anyway, I'm going to try to muster up enough courage to send the psychologist another email once I get the finished schedule for the summer research program.

I think I'm probably the one who's less flexible right now (which isn't really my fault since it's all because of university).

Thanks! I'm getting really nervous now. It starts on Monday with a two week introduction and then I'll be in the lab all of July (and then six weeks next summer).

Belated congratulations on your research opportunity!