[Wysteria]

when should a therapist give up and throw in the towel.
When is it enough?
When is a client not worth it?
When is it a hopeless case?
When should he just go on and help the ones that can be helped?
When and how do they just say enough is enough?
How do they know?
How do we know?
How do I know?
they cannot make something out of nothing.
If they are truly are gifted, shouldn't they help the ones that can be helped?
we say they are human...can't they be frustrated and need to quit to save themselves for others?

- wb

[Freewilled]

I don't know...but I'd hope my T would have the guts to say why he needs to let me go if/when he does. I would expect a well thought out explanation with no bull ****. I can tell you that I believe it's never really ALL the client.

[Yoda]

My son saw a T for a year when he was an adolescent and the T finally said that since my son would not open up and talk about his issues he could not help him.

[kaliope]

I don't think anyone is a hopeless cause.

[Wysteria]

I do...
I feel like nothingness and air and wind and not fixable or shapeable...a shell....

He is the best T, and feel like he could be helping so many more patients that need him. I can't keep borrowing his hope...

I don't know how to hope anymore.

wb

[HazelGirl]

Wysteria, can you trust that the T knows more about psychology and whether you will get better than you do? Our distorted minds and thoughts get in the way of knowing how we are doing and whether we are improving.

Also, can you ask your T if he has noticed improvement in you?

[stopdog]

No client wastes a therapists' time. A client can waste their own money or time, but not the therapist. The therapist gets paid for their time whether a client uses it in the manner prescribed by the therapist or not.

[Wysteria]

Stopdog:

I guess I don't USE his therapy as prescribed and am indeed wasting my money and his time as you see it.

I hurt and keep hurting and keep sinking. So I guess I am a waste of time, money and energy...

Hazel Girl:
t says I have had one of the worst months in therapy he can remember. so obviously not improving.

It is obviously my fault not his. He is very gifted.

I just hurt...and feel worthless.

Time to cut bait...

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Wysteria

Stopdog:

I guess I don't USE his therapy as prescribed and am indeed wasting my money and his time as you see it.

I hurt and keep hurting and keep sinking. So I guess I am a waste of time, money and energy...

Hazel Girl:
t says I have had one of the worst months in therapy he can remember. so obviously not improving.

It is obviously my fault not his. He is very gifted.

I just hurt...and feel worthless.

Time to cut bait...

Setbacks happen. It's normal in all therapy. Heck, if you remember, I cut myself last week. That's not something I normally do and it's MAJOR setback. But it doesn't mean I'm not improving. I was able to talk to my T about it last week and this week. The improvement hasn't been in feeling better necessarily, it's been in me being able to better express what is going on. Which will eventually, if I give it more time, lead to feeling better.

Wysteria, what do you think being "helped" would look/feel like.
In my journey it is like trudging through mud. .some days I feel I've put my baggage down, other days I feel imprisoned by it.
Being helped isn't a day night thing. Feelings of hopelessness come into it.
The change is slow. I mean very slow. Years slow.
We don't change how we think we would. We just get stronger inside. We are still human, still experience emotions we experience now. But it's not overwhelming. We continue alongside it.

[Aloneandafraid]

I am a worthless cause because I don't do anything to change my situation.
My T and my friends have given up on me.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I ask myself those questions all the time. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Therapy is tough work. Even if you have a very competent, gifted therapist, he may not be the right person to effectively help you. I'm not suggesting finding another therapist, just trying to paint a larger picture that includes much less blame on your part.

therapy is very difficult work. i believe that all of us are "worth it", it can take us a long time to come to that belief for ourself, no one is worthless..... no one... please don't be so hard on yourself, it's not about blaming you or the t it's a journey that our t's share with us they walk beside us believe in us for us until we can do it ourselves.... i know this sounds rambly sorry about that but i wanted to respond on my way out the door to work.... i hope it makes a little sense.... you are worthwhile, we all are!!

[Perna]

I taught myself during therapy to sometimes give my head a rest. My head and thoughts are not all of me: obviously something in me hoped and wanted to get better and change or I would not have shown up at all my therapy appointments so religiously and obviously the T saw something in me or she would not have shown up as well. As Mouse says, it is often a years-long experience, sloughing through all that mud.

You are coming off of that particularly difficult session. Therapy doesn't work in a straight smooth line without any kinks. It's more like a rocking chair. It goes back and forth and up and down, at different heights and speeds. Sometimes you rock so hard you tump the whole chair over backward. Try to just accept that this is one of those tumping over moments in therapy, that your therapist will help you right the chair and settle you back into it again. Don't beat yourself up about these kinds of difficult sessions. They happen to absolutely every one of us.

[Patagonia]

My T told me she's using some different methods knowing they may not work. That makes me feel worthless, that she's grasping at straws. But on the other hand she hasn't given up on me.
I'd be very frank w/ ur T & ask where you stand & if they think you're making progress. You might b surprised w/the answer.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SnakeCharmer]

Ah, you know, nobody's perfect. Just because you may have acted like a worthless cause yesterday, it doesn't mean you can't find a little niggle of something inside that says you can act a little different today, make the effort, put your hand out and say, "I'm ready." It doesn't even matter if you dug your heels in and refused help, made no progress or even regressed in the past. Just the smallest effort today can signal the beginning of the long slow process of change, which means there really are no hopeless cases or worthless causes. It's just harder for some people. Very hard. And slow. And sometimes painful. But not worthless.

Therapists DO get fed up and tired of clients sometimes. They get tired of watching someone go on and on and not helping themselves. I firmly believe this is what happened to me. I was partly to blame probably, but I also think he was to blame too. He just basically dropped me with no termination session after seven years. I don't know. I don't think you're hopeless, but you might want to find a new therapist if you're having trouble with this one.

[Wysteria]

maybe I'm a bee charmer....

wb

[msxyz]

I have issues with therapists terminating for lack of client progress. I think that says more about a therapist's narcissistic need to feel successful and perhaps lack of skills than about whether a client is a hopeless case or not.

If a therapist feels stuck there is always the option of consultation to get some new ideas and ways to approach a client.

I also think just wanting regular reliable support or a person to confide in are good enough reasons to see a therapist for as long as one wants to.