[CantExplain]

Dear CE, I am going away for several weeks and am not able to offer any appointment right now. I will get back to you on my return.
warm regards T

Hmm. Why would she be unable to make an appointment? Is she going away and not knowing when she will be back? Is she in fact going to be in hospital? Her holidays usually follow the school calendar.

If Madame T were to die on the operating table before I can make my peace with her, I shall be serious miffed.

[IndestructibleGirl]

I understand (believe me, I sure do!) how annoying this is BUT she may not be sick. It could be anything - an elderly parent breaking a hip and needing care, a sudden house move, if she has kids something going on with them, anything. It's useless saying not to think about the possibility of her being ill and in hospital, but do remember there are other things that throw a spanner in the works that aren't necessarily terminal illness.

I think, in your shoes, I would probably send an email back asking if she was ok healthwise, to put your mind at rest. You don't have anything to lose by asking, and the best outcome is that you get a reassuring reply that she's alright and you will definitely get a chance to pick up dialogue with her in due course.

[nottrustin]

I would send her an email back saying that I hope everything is okay and I would see her when she returns. I have done that before with T although usually when she takes time off she tells me why..

[elliemay]

I think this may be an excellent opportunity for you to exercise your understanding and respect of her boundaries. She'll contact you for an appointment when she can I'm sure.

Perhaps you could just let it be for awhile?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

If Madame T were to die on the operating table before I can make my peace with her, I shall be serious miffed.

Do your peace and your understanding depend on her, or on you? Who needs to understand what? have you spelt this out? P.s. not as miffed as her, im sure!!

[stopdog]

CE- i understand about the miffment. Perhaps there are less drastic scenarios available to you - such as she is going on an extended vacation and wants to schedule her regular clients at her return and does not yet have that all straightened out.
I would write back that I hoped all was well, I would look forward to hearing from her in a couple of months, and that if something happened to her to prevent another meeting, I would be miffed (if that was how I felt).

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I think this may be an excellent opportunity for you to exercise your understanding and respect of her boundaries. She'll contact you for an appointment when she can I'm sure.

Perhaps you could just let it be for awhile?

Yes, I'll wait.

[rainbow8]

I admire you, CE. You're doing a much better job handling Madame T's snails than I would be doing if it were me! I'd be angry and impatient. I'd have the urge to spy on her! I'd want to DO something.

Is it perhaps comforting to you that the closure session is still in the future? You can hold onto the fantasy that way? Prolong the excitement? That might be another way I'd look at it.

She is probably just going on vacation.dont read into it too much.

[musinglizzy]

I wouldn't read into it too much. Maybe a parent/family member is ill, and perhaps terminal? ANd she's going to be with them till the end and is unsure how long that will be. I think if she were going to have surgery or something (be in the hospital) she wouldn't have worded it that way. It is a little strange that after the communication you've had back and forth, she throws this on the table.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

I wouldn't read into it too much. Maybe a parent/family member is ill, and perhaps terminal? ANd she's going to be with them till the end and is unsure how long that will be. I think if she were going to have surgery or something (be in the hospital) she wouldn't have worded it that way. It is a little strange that after the communication you've had back and forth, she throws this on the table.

Madame T regards all information as confidential. She would never tell me anything I didn't need to know.
(Except when she told me she hates frosted glass. )
Hence, she could have known for a while but would not divulge it until I actually asked for an appointment.

[musinglizzy]

Makes sense. I don't know my T well enough to know how open she is, but, I know we're there for ourselves, not for them, but I would find it just uncomfortable to be spilling my guts out to someone, telling them things I would never tell anyone else, yet know absolutely nothing about them. Not that I'd need to know their life story....

[CantExplain]

My spies tell me Madame T has gone to Europe for a wedding.

[musinglizzy]

spies???

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

My spies tell me Madame T has gone to Europe for a wedding.

Good job

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

My spies tell me Madame T has gone to Europe for a wedding.

I'm intrigued who your spies are...?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

spies???

Only one spy, but that was enough.

But look here. What kind of mother would pass up the opportunity to mention a daughter's wedding? She's not human!

I myself would be annoyed at the 'several weeks' part because I'd want to know exactly how many weeks and no vagueness, after all therapy is an important process and needs specific dates and structure etc. You could try emailing her back and asking how many weeks it would be for some clarity?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

I'm intrigued who your spies are...?

I am not at liberty to divulge that as it might compromise our agents in the field.

Oh, all right then. It was a current patient.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

I myself would be annoyed at the 'several weeks' part because I'd want to know exactly how many weeks and no vagueness, after all therapy is an important process and needs specific dates and structure etc. You could try emailing her back and asking how many weeks it would be for some clarity?

If she wants to play silly buggers, I'll leave her to it.
I'm slightly annoyed, but I refuse to be baited.

[tametc]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I am not at liberty to divulge that as it might compromise our agents in the field.

Oh, all right then. It was a current patient.

I will neither confirm nor deny that I read this.

[PreacherHeckler]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

If she wants to play silly buggers, I'll leave her to it.
I'm slightly annoyed, but I refuse to be baited.

Baited? I think, CE, you might be less annoyed if you remember that she is currently not your therapist, and she is under no obligation to even respond to you. I think she gave you more information than was necessary for a former client, not less.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by PreacherHeckler

Baited? I think, CE, you might be less annoyed if you remember that she is currently not your therapist, and she is under no obligation to even respond to you. I think she gave you more information than was necessary for a former client, not less.

No obligation, true. I like people who give more than the absolute minimum. By volunteering information, for example.

This does help to remind me why we have no future together.

[HazelGirl]

Nope, you're not her patient until she agrees to see you and schedules one. And the APA doesn't consider you her patient until you have seen her for several appointments.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Nope, you're not her patient until she agrees to see you and schedules one. And the APA doesn't consider you her patient until you have seen her for several appointments.

That may be the law, but it is hardly generous.

Yes, I do expect generosity.