First session with new Therapist

Well tomorrow is my first session with my new Therapist and I was wondering what types of things I should get into at session. I will try not to go into boundaries that much (I think that everyone on here knows how much I struggle with those), but I think that maybe I should ask about her vacation plans since I will want to know if there will be a period of time in the summer where I won't be seeing her. I also may ask a few personal questions but probably nothing too personal.

If boundaries are a big problem, I think it's really important to bring up.

I'm, also, sure she will have some questions for you, too. After you two chat for awhile, just see where things go. Unless there is something specific on your mind you want to talk about. Good luck.

Good luck!

I wish you luck with your new therapist, as I know these transitions are not easy at all. I would ask about the vacation, since its that time of the year, also about boundaries, and contact between sessions and such. You know its a get to know you kind of thing again and you only have a hour to feel your way through this, just to start, you will be able to tell if you feel ok about it, you get vibes.
I hope it goes well for you, and this therapist is in it for the long haul and you wont need to transition anytime soon, thats what I am hoping for me as well.

I wish you all the best!

Well the session didn't go well at all, the Therapist I thought was way past my age cutoff (she told me she was 50 but it looked like she was much older than that) and overall I didn't really think things were going to workout between the 2 of us. She was ready to assign me someone else right than and there (since she is the one who assigns Therapists to Clients) but I said that I wanted to wait a little while to think things through before I decide on who I might want to see (even if that means going a few weeks without any Therapy).

RTerroni, I think as hard as it is, it's very important to go see another T. What you're going through is very hard, and I can understand why you would want to wait. But its so important that you have someone help you through this.

I do agree with you somewhat but in reality going a few weeks without Therapy is sort of just part of life for some people, some peoples Therapists go on vacation for several weeks in the summer, in some instances peoples Therapists end up becoming pregnant and they go on Maternity Leave for a few months. It just happens and they have to find a way to get thorough it.

Certainly, but if you don't have to, I think it's a bad idea to choose to suffer by yourself.

But it is also not a good idea just to be assigned someone else right away if you are not sure if it is a good match just for the sake of not having any break in Therapy, I don't think that I am suffering right now at all just looking for a good match. She did tell me that she was willing to set me up with the person who did my intake and while I think she may be a "better" match, I'm not sure if she would be the best match for me.

I didn't necessarily mean go back to the same person. But allow her to give you a referral. That way, you've got something to focus on.

That's what I want to happen but I don't want it to be immediate, I would like to take some time to think things over.

Another thing is (and I mentioned this to my mom tonight) that I hope I'm not too shallow in looking for a Therapist.

Well, that's something that's totally in your control.

There may be a reason age cutoff is important to you (fear of losing a T too soon etc)

I wouldn't second guess your gut instincts on this. If it didn't feel right, then I bet it is worth listening to.

I couldn't agree more

ps I used to feel like a hypocrite not wanting a female T (I hate discrimination) but I have my reasons and it has worked for me

I don't get the age cut off. Do you want someone within a certain age range for a T? I don't know how old MY t is....but she's older than I am. And that's all I wanted. I didn't want a younger T than me. Not sure why that is....

I think there definitely is and I have always said that the biggest reason why I don't want to see someone who is very old (such as in their 60s) is that there is a chance that they may retire in the not to distant future.

I don't want someone who is younger either (too inexperienced at this time) but I really don't think that I can relate to someone who is decades older than me (my disability lawyer is 37 years older than me and I really don't relate to her at all but she is a good lawyer and that is all that matters there).

The Therapist who I met with today may have been 50 but she looked like she could have easily been 60.

I have said that the 15 year age cutoff (i.e. no more that 15 years older than me) is very much a soft cutoff and if there is someone who is slightly older than that I would consider them.

I sort of feel the same way

That makes sense. Thinking of that in my own situation, that would be awful to get to know someone just to have them retire. I never did ask my T, but when I switched doctors, I specifically asked her if she had any plans to leave, move, etc. Because I had been going to a clinic with residents, who after two years are gone, and I really got tired of having a decent relationship with them, only to have them leave.

RT, I am sorry that this therapist was not what you wanted, because I know along with some trepidation there was hope and enthusiasm about this new therapist. Ain't nothing wrong with holding out till you get what your seeking. Hugs and best wishes to you, RT.