Canceling session with t

So this past month has been soooo up and down with me emotionally and therapy has started to get really difficult and intense.I'm not sure which is chicken and which is egg at this point, but either way I've been struggling.

At my last appointment I thought I was okay, but ended up getting so ill and depressed afterwards that I had to call off work. I text my t, but she didn't text me back. This set me off! Even though I understood the logical piece of it, that she doesn't keep her phone on her but in her office and won't answer unless she is there, but I couldn't get that through to my emotions that felt like she didn't care.

I later called to cancel my next appointment (tomorrow) and was happy to get her voicemail as I'm not sure how I would have handled her picking up.

I knew that she would call the next morning though to confirm my decision, but I didn't realize that she would so efficiently talk me out of canceling. I saw her name pop up on my phone and I could feel my stomach drop. I heard her voice and I almost started to cry. We talked for about fifteen minutes about her worries regarding my canceling and my feelings/fears about coming in. She got me to agree to continue on with the appointment with the promise that we could talk about the lighter side of things, but I'm still so concerned. I know she wouldn't lie to me, but I always feel like she gets me talking about things even when we plan not to.

Has anyone ever taken a small break from therapy? How do you know when it is a good idea, and secondly how do you convince your t of this?

I don't think it's a good idea to run from therapy because it's hard. It sounds like you need to slow down, but I also think it would make things much worse to quit.

I'm not running from therapy, I just needed a breather. I needed a night where I want in shambles, a weekend where I could think of something other than all the terrible things that have happened. I just want one freaking night where I sleep all the way through without dreaming about t leaving, or waking up feeling paralyzed because of nightmares. I'm sorry but I think that if a single day off could give me just a little relief, that's not asking too much

The problem is that it won't. Because the problem isn't with your T.

I tend to agree with hazelgirl. I think stepping away from t because it gets tough tends to slow things down a lot. Sometimes the best work comes after a difficult session. That is however, totally up to you to decide. I'm the type of person who needs lots of validation when things get tough, so I wouldn't want to walk away at that point, but that's just me.

You're right the problem is not with t, it's with my past, but the last time when t went on vacation my negative side effects stopped and just knowing that I had a day to be calm was enough to let me sleep. I can't not sleep anymore!

Awe, I am so sorry you're struggling with nightmares and feeling so desperate and emotional.

I've been doing intensive therapy a while and know how incredibly intense and exhausting emotionally it can be.

I have found that *usually* for me, it's worthwhile to go in, to take that pain and channel it into therapy, *however* I have also had a recent occasion where I did need to let the therapeutic work rest for a while and restabilize- focus on the more mundane, quiet, peaceful side of my life and just live without analyzing it all for a bit, to just have a bit of a summer holiday.

I guess... I think only you will know, instinctively, which is best, whether you're pushing away something important to deal with, or taking a healing brief break.

I would suggest it's best to go to that appointment, and hopefully it will be a reassuring, lighter one as you've planed, or at least end in a place where you're feeling a bit better than now.

From there, I'd decide whether you need a short break or not.

Maybe your therapist can also help you with distress tolerance skills: those helped me take the edge of therapy post-session quite a bit. Am so glad I pushed her to help me with those.

Thanks for this, I'm really not quitting I just want one day.

I believe in taking breaks and they help me enormously. I usually just tell the therapist I will not be there for 2-3 weeks and that I will be there on whatever date I think I will be back. I don't explain or ask permission of the therapist. I am an adult and if I think a break is useful, I take one.

I have no problem with taking a break from T from time to time. Sometimes we get overloaded and a break is simply good self-care. It isn't something I ever feel need to ask permission to do.

I think that's the funny thing, I don't remember asking! I feel like she called knowing exactly the way to get me to cone in and I dunno if I'm okay with that.

That's when you learn to advocate for yourself to your therapist and just say, "I'm taking a week off just to rest and regroup. I'll see you next week (or whenever)." You did say she understood you are feeling overwhelmed and that she would keep it lighter this session. Mine would be a man of his word on that. I'm not one to cancel a session because I'm stressed about the thought of a session, but I can understand the need to just give yourself a break.

When I say I want a break my t says she respects my choice but she lets me know that those times when I don't want to come could be the best times to come as to discuss was going on. She would never force me or be upset or anything but she does gently encourage me to push through those hard times and come in anyways . I am always glad that I push through even though it's hard. Sometimes in the middle of session I will get overwhelmed and say I want to leave and she always says it fine but before I go maybe I can try some different things to help me calm down . It always works and I'm able to have a productive session.
However I feel like a break would be nice and eventually I will not try to push through and just take a few weeks to recharge and get back to the hard work

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