[ThisWayOut]

T told me to reach out if needed... but how to do you do that when you don't know what to say, or what to ask for?

[HazelGirl]

Could you start by just asking a friend to listen to you?

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

T told me to reach out if needed... but how to do you do that when you don't know what to say, or what to ask for?

Perhaps just begin by saying how you feel at the time. You could also say that you don't really know exactly what to say or what you should be asking for. Sometimes what's most important is just to talk. Once you get the conversation going, sometimes what you need to say & what you need to be asking for becomes clear just by virtue of having the conversation. Sometimes the important thing is not so much what you say as just the fact that you are reaching out.

[stopdog]

The therapist told you to reach out to her or to other people in general? IF her, I would tell her I need some examples of how it works.

[Freewilled]

Mine told me I could call him anytime /: yeah, but I wouldn't know what to say. I told him it would probably need to be a life or death situation for me to reach out for help....that was months ago though. I still think, for me only, things would have to be pretty grave for me to call him. I just don't know what I would say........I wish I could, though.

[ThisWayOut]

She had said in general, but in the past also to her... I thought of calling her, but I don't think words would come out. I feel like my ability to communicate the important stuff has shut down.

[tealBumblebee]

I think that is the best way to start just by what you said here. When I need to reach out to T and don't have the words, I tell her that. I tell her just how I feel even if it makes no sense to me and she loves those emails the most because of how authentic they are. Perhaps you could give it a try even if it just says something as weird as "I feel dizzy and mixed up and like i'm running in circles about to hit a wall at any moment." I think a good T can see through that and maybe help you find clarity in how you need help. *hugs* I hope things get better and you find the confidence to reach out!

P.S. I also find that writing works better for me expressing myself, have you tried writing or drawing, baking or anything else that help you express how you feel?

[ThisWayOut]

This. But I don't know how to explain it...

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

This. But I don't know how to explain it...

That is awesome! I bet if you brought it to T's attention that they could ask you the right questions to get to the root of it - maybe even help you figure out how to discern what you are feeling by making it and when you made it!

[ThisWayOut]

I will likely show her on Friday... I hope she asks about it, and can get past my stumbling and fumbling in speaking about it...

On another note, I contacted a crisis chat, and the woman was so nice... she talked and seemed genuinely ok with spending time with me... Only now I feel like self-harming worse, because I don't know what to do with genuine kindness from strangers, especailly when I feel like a huge bother. I don't want to bother them again, but I had agreed to get back into contact if I felt like self-harming... I keep my word. It's really important for me to keep my word... but I don't want to boter them again because I just ended the chat about 30 minutes ago... other people need them too... I don't know what to do. So I'm typing away here stupidly and bothering you all... sorry...

[tealBumblebee]

I think it is awesome that you contacted the crisis chat - BOTH times and were brave enough to write your feelings out here, on the forum. You're not bothering anyone i'm sure! Thats what this forum is all about. I totally get where you are coming from but I just wanted you to know we do care and don't mind you posting as many times as you need/want!

[ThisWayOut]

Today was better. I ended up talking to the people at one of the hotlines for about 3-4 hours total between last night and this morning. It really helped to connect and feel heard (and not so alone). I left t a message also. I thought I had asked for a call back, but apparently not because she did not return my call today. I see her tomorrow. Hopefully she doesn't hate me for being a pain in the ***... I guess it doesn't really matter as she is leaving shortly anyway. :/
thanks for all the support here. It means a lot, especially when I'm floundering.