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Old Jun 13, 2014, 06:42 PM
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GenCat GenCat is offline
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Guys, I really don't know what to do or say to T when I see her next week. I am too afraid to lose her, yet I want her to let me go. Why did things have to get so complicated between us? I don't think I will ever heal from this relationship.
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Old Jun 13, 2014, 06:46 PM
musinglizzy musinglizzy is offline
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Sorry, I must have missed the story, but so sorry for what you're going through. It's obviously painful!
  #3  
Old Jun 13, 2014, 07:36 PM
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HazelGirl HazelGirl is offline
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GenCat, you can heal. But it starts by finding a T who isn't continuing to hurt you.
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  #4  
Old Jun 13, 2014, 07:43 PM
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sweepy62 sweepy62 is offline
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Sorry gencat, therapeutic relationships can be so complicated at times, as hazelgirl said, you can and deserve to heal. Therapy and your therapist is the on place where we all should feel safe and the most comfortable, that is one we settle in.
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  #5  
Old Jun 13, 2014, 09:31 PM
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grimtopaz grimtopaz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GenCat View Post
Guys, I really don't know what to do or say to T when I see her next week. I am too afraid to lose her, yet I want her to let me go. Why did things have to get so complicated between us? I don't think I will ever heal from this relationship.
It makes complete sense that you've grown attached and accustomed to having your therapist in your life. The therapeutic relationship is very powerful and intimate; it can be even more confusing when your T acts like a friend. I think a great new therapist could help you work on healing from your relationship, however, it will take time. I hope you find a trustworthy, boundaried therapist who will be there for your as your "secure" base.

From what you have posted, your therapist seems to have an unhealthy attachment to you. I don't say this to scare you, but so you can be prepared...I think your therapist will make it very hard for you to let her go. She might try to rationalize her own behavior (as she has in the past), tell you this is "resistance" and a sign you need to keep working together, tell you you are still "not well", etc., etc. She might feel abandoned and want to take it out on you. I hope I am wrong.

Remember that as a client, you have the power to walk away if this is what you want/what you think is good for you (even though it is extremely difficult and painful).

Best of luck. Trust your instincts.
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