[crystalrose]

I have been seeing my therapist for 3 years and she has been a great support.
Recently I have begun discussing some hurtful things in my life relating to my mother and now I get these intense feelings of wanting her to be my mum and wanting her to touch me in a friendly way not sexual or anything.
I hate how I can contact her via email in between sessions but she doesn't ever reply because its one of her boundaries that therapy is in the room only not via phone calls or email.
I feel that this is a form of rejection and that she is just like my mum in that way.
It then becomes a love hate relationship and I hated that the therapy relationship has become so intense.
My first instinct is to run and fins a new T but I think if I work through this that it will benefit me in some way.

has anyone got any advice for me??
can anyone explain to me why I am feeling the way I am?

[gma45]

I can't explain your feelings. I do think you are going through some feelings that have been buried for some time and that is why they might be so intense. I think you are right just work through them and see the benefit.

[HazelGirl]

Have you talked to your T about this?

[Aloneandafraid]

I just wanted to say that I am in this place too - it's so painful. I talked to her today a little bit and it wasn't as scary as I had expected. I feel relieved that I eventually said something - I've been seeing her for 15 months now. It is the most painful, scary, embarrassing experience. I just want you to know that I relate. Xx

[always_wondering]

I am having a similar experience, as well. The advice I have been getting from this site is to talk about it with your T, as I have ( which makes it feel a little bit better) and eventually the pain will dissipate. I do believe my T is filling the void of the stable love and security I never received from my mother (even though he is very much a guy).

[precaryous]

I can relate to wanting my Prev T to be my mom or sister...and starting to feel the mom connection to Present T.

I can also relate to email frustrations with PresentT.
She does not email patients at all...but she was nice enough to explain. She also teaches at a University and says 1) she wants to keep student emails separate from patients, 2) she is concerned that her email may not be confidential, 3) she feels she has too many emails 4) this last one is my opinion: she doesn't seem too experienced with computers. Another poster brought up the good point about T's may not be getting reimbursed or have a fee plan for emails. My T does allow phone calls and snail mail. I am not used to her voice mail yet. My impression is that it doesn't record very long.

I know I would be able to express and reveal more to her via email and voice mail. But I understand her boundary and will deal.

Random: Present T is going to be away a few weeks around July 4th. I'm glad for her. She's tired, I can see it. She admits it. But I'm anxious for me. We've decided I can write to her or leave a phone message while she is gone to help me maintain the feeling of connection. I know she will not read mail or hear messages until she returns. She has someone on call for her while she is away. I also have you guys!

Things for me to think about.