[Jordy]

I have an evaluation tomorrow morning with a psychologist I don't know about entering a group home. I'm really nervous as I have no idea what to expect and I worry about how much I'll have to talk about the CSA. Especially as I had to cancel my session with T tomorrow afternoon for work. Knowing I'd have that session is what kept me sane until I had to cancel last night... now I won't see T for two weeks, as she can't fit me in before.

Any pocket riders would be welcomed!

[HazelGirl]

Thinking of you. She will just ask questions. Be as honest as you can, and if you can't answer a question, just tell her. She should understand that.

[Jordy]

Thanks for your support! I'm so scared it's awful...

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[HazelGirl]

I totally understand. It will be okay, though.

[Raging Quiet]

I will be a pocket rider. I truly hope it goes the best way it can for you. Hang on in there

[musinglizzy]

You will be ok. Try to think of running free, with the wind in your hair.... you know what I mean! That being will be there for you

[sweepy62]

I will be thinking of you as well, she has to know is is extremely anxiety producing for you, I hope it goes well, if you get accepted, will you be able to continue with your t?

[Jordy]

Thanks for the support.

I think I will be able to stay with my T, no way I'm giving her up!

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[Jordy]

I've cancelled....

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[Purpledaze]

Sorry Jordy (((hugs))). I hope you can reschedule for when you are feeling stronger. Is this something your T could go with you to?

[HazelGirl]

Did you reschedule? You need this. And yes, you have any more chances in the future to reapply and try again. Maybe next time you can show up at the place before canceling? And then actually go into the appointment the time after that?

[Jordy]

I'm finally back home after a long day at work. I was supposed to be at work at 9:30am, to do a quick delivery and my boss had allowed me to use the company vehicle to my appointment to make sure I'd get there. But when I arrived he asked me to do another delivery that was further away, because someone had messed up and forgotten some important stuff. Anyway I agreed even though I knew it would be likely I wouldn't make it to the appointment, and at 10 am I cancelled, when I was stuck in traffic and sure I wouldn't be able to make it.

At first I thought this was something out of my controll, but now that thinking more about it I'm realizing there were a few different options. Such situations have happenned in the past, and everytime I at least tried every other solution before cancelling my session with T, and when I had to cancel I was very upset. Not this time, I was so relieved when I cancelled, the nausea was instantly gone it was like everything was ok again... so I guess I let my fear controll my reaction and that's why I cancelled without looking for a solution.

THey immediately gace me another appointment n 2 weeks, the positive part is I will have a session with T later in the day. So I hope this time, work won't provide me with an excuse not to go...

[HazelGirl]

Yeah, maybe you just needed a few more weeks to prepare.

But the longer you wait, the worse it will feel. You will have more anxiety building and such, but if you just grit your teeth and go, I bet you will find it's not nearly as bad as you imagine.

[Jordy]

I think it will be easier in two weeks because I'll see my T afterwards. I've also realized that one of the things that scares me is that the social worker at that place made me tell my brother's name, which T doesn't even know after more than two years. I never refer to him by him, as it's quite triggering to me...

And if you add my fear of moving out to the mix.... well i guess it's no wonder I want to flee...

[HazelGirl]

It does make total sense why you're so scared. Can you try to focus on all the good that will come out of it?