How do you trust again

When trust was broken? I know i need help and now know i can't do this on my own, i'm on meds but they don't seem to be working, Please tell what to do

Are you able to talk with your MD about finding a new T? I just read a bunch of your old posts, and I truly cannot believe what you've been through. I can understand why it would be hard to trust after all that. But I think it would be good to have someone to talk with after everything you've been through. Can you tell us what exactly you are worried about with a new T? Is there anything that would help you feel safe with a T again?

I have talked to my MD she said i'm not ready for another T, She said she can help me so i'v been seeing her every 3mo for the last 2 years its hard to even trust her i haven't really told her what i'm feeling, i'm scared if i told her she would use it against me like ex T did,i need to find a way to trust again

Maybe work with trusting yourself to deal with whatever and come up with some ideas what might happen; think of some little things to tell MD that you are feeling that would not devastate you if she got wrong. Sometimes we get a "crust" on our anxiety and get anxious about being anxious. You tell the easier things and MD responds well and it gets a bit easier to tell more; like testing the ice :-)

I think that trust is earned as much as it is given, and testing the waters as Perna suggested knowing that you have it within you to heal and survive is really important.
The only thing I sort of question, is if once every 3 mo is enough for you to begin to learn how to trust someone else. It takes that stability and time, those hours with someone to learn that they will be trustworthy, consistent, caring, non-judgmental, and worthy. For me at least, it took the week after week consistency and safety provided to allow me to come towards my T and really begin to trust and respect them. I know you MD wants to protect you and knows you well, but perhaps it is your decision to make when you are ready and ask him to facilitate finding the most worthy of T's and helping with the transition.
Only you can really take that step, and I have a feeling you are stronger and braver than you know and something in you is ready to try.

Best wishes,
Wysteria Blue

I think your MD is wrong. You do need a T and you need to see someone more often than every 3 months.

You won't learn trust of anyone if you only see them 4 times a year. You are going to have to go in regularly, probably weekly. Until you at least try to do that, I kind of agree with your MD. A new T isn't going to solve that problem. You can't know yet if this current T will work or not as infrequently as you are seeing her.