Have i put my foot in it?

I feel you have a right to ask.

PrevT would reply, "Why do you need to know?"

I would answer that it helped me to relate to her...and see how well she may be relating to me.

I like your observation that you want to know how well she understands your pain. I can see you asking that question again with that explanation.

I don't think you've wrecked anything, it's a common question.

Just to update you, everythings fine now and she said I was peobably asking more about her to evade painful personal questions about myself. But she said it was normal and fine to be interested.