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Old Jun 21, 2014, 09:16 PM
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RTerroni RTerroni is offline
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It is still over 2 weeks until my first session with my new Therapist (July 7th), but I am already starting to freak out a little about the whole boundary issue (which as many people know I have much difficulty with). I wanted to know when people think it is a good time to bring it up should you bring it up at the first session or should you bring it up when conditions warrant. I think that the fact that I am so set into my views regarding boundaries (which I know that many people on here take issue with) definitely plays into it.
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  #2  
Old Jun 21, 2014, 09:27 PM
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I have been asking myself the same question. I was thinking about laying everything out on the table the first session. I don't mean going into everything, just putting it out there that I have issues with x,y,z. Maybe ask the T the first session
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  #3  
Old Jun 21, 2014, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smmath View Post
I have been asking myself the same question. I was thinking about laying everything out on the table the first session. I don't mean going into everything, just putting it out there that I have issues with x,y,z. Maybe ask the T the first session
OK I may end up doing that.
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  #4  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 04:57 AM
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Any time is a good time to talk about boundaries.
But sooner rather than later.
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  #5  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 08:37 AM
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I would talk about the boundaries that concern me the most in the actual session, such as touching - handshakes, hugs, whatever. Then emails, texts, phonecalls. Then out of session accidental contact, such as running into each other on the street, at the store, wherever, what is their policy. Mine is pretty friendly ie human about all that stuff.
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  #6  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 09:35 AM
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Within the first session or two, maybe the third at latest. But at the beginning is always better.
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  #7  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 09:37 AM
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I let the therapist know my expectations right away. If they cannot or will not accommodate, I know not to waste my time and I go on to someone else.
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  #8  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 09:37 AM
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I didn't ever ask my T about boundaries, but I wish I had, simply so that I knew. For example, she allows me to text her and she gives me a hug at the end of sessions. But these were things I discovered as I went along. She used to let me email, but wouldn't check her emails often enough, and so asked me to only text her. I'm glad I have all of these methods because it would have been much harder without, but I also could just as easily have gotten a T who didn't. And I would be struggling much more than I am now. It's a very important, but very overlooked topic.
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  #9  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 01:14 PM
CameraObscura CameraObscura is offline
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Boundary discussions are like voting - do it early and often.
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  #10  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 01:23 PM
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unlockingsanity unlockingsanity is offline
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First session.

You're both checking each other out in the first few sessions and it's a good time to be assertive.

Do you have experience with X?
What are your boundaries on X,Y,Z?
Are there times when those boundaries could be flexible, like if X were to happen?

First session - definitely my vote.
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RTerroni
  #11  
Old Jun 22, 2014, 01:51 PM
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I agree with first session. Maybe even write up a list so you don't forget anything.
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RTerroni
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