Can anyone decipher the psychobabble for me?

There will not be any asking this therapist what he meant because I no longer see him.

That said, it is unlike me not to just ask if I don't understand what someone is asking me. I think I was having trouble piecing together sentences that particular day. Another one of my inexplicable cognitive problems is that I have trouble remembering words sometimes, and when this happens, I just try to talk as little as possible because half of what I say comes out as incomprehensible babble (I guess he and I would have had that in common at least :P).

You don't lack the capacity to learn it, u just learn on a different curve. I can read an academic book once and if it pertains to my life and my future I can learn it and remember from that one reading. Yet of I find it hard to see myself ever using what I'm learning I find it very difficult to grasp. Like physics, I don't need to know the exact location a ball falling speed from y height will land. I can imagine the ballpark location from trajectory but won't know exact. All I know is I dot want to be in said location.

Yet with biology and anatomy they just fascinate me and to this day 10yrs after bio or anatomy I can still write out and draw out the exact time cancer in human cells can occur. There also other random things I remember but until thy come up in conversations they stay in the back I my mind.

how much of a chance are you giving these Ts? it sounds like you have seen at least a couple but only once or a few times? is that correct? it is important to find the right T where you have a good fit with them but you may not be giving Ts enough of a chance.

rather than a LD i wonder if you are just very perfectionistic and self-critical and are experiencing some paralyzing fear or anxiety when you feel you aren't thinking or communicating well. if you did have a LD i would think you wouldn't be able to so easily "find a way around" what you see as your cognitive difficulties and get such high grades. the fact that you are able to so easily work around them shows high intelligence to me. i'm no professional though so that is just my laywoman's opinion. if you scored much, much lower than expected on the SAT or other standardized tests then that might indicate something is going on. if you are still convinced this is cognitive it can't hurt to go to a LD specialist and have them run you through a battery of tests.

I saw my last one for several months. It was a waste of time, and I'm not going to continue paying people to listen to me talk about how my week is going or tell me stuff I already know. We also always got to a point where there wasn't really anything left to say because the therapists themselves are able to sense that they can't help me. There's no real way for talk therapy to fix problems like mine, as far as I can tell.

It is completely possible to have high intelligence AND cognitive problems. The lady who did my neuropsych testing even told me, "It's the smart ones who are able to find ways around the difficulties, but it's super stressful on the individual to have to compensate like that all of the time." That's my problem. I'm good at hiding it, but there are also a lot of situations where it is not possible to hide it. Like, if you leave me alone to sit and work on an assignment or study for a test for as long as it takes me, I can usually produce really good work. But if I'm required to do something on the spot, such as take a pop quiz, do a lab experiment, or carry out every day tasks like driving, that is where I run into trouble. It's really difficult to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. For instance, as I mentioned, I have problems remembering words. I learned to compensate for this by writing with a thesaurus so that I can look up words similar to the word I'm trying to remember and find it. It's extremely frustrating because it's such a time-consuming process, but if I put in the extra time, the end result is fine. That's why I had such high grades as an English major; most of my assignments were things like essays that I could take my time on like that. However, if an employer requires me to pump out a bunch of articles quickly by deadline? I can't do it..I turn in work with a bunch of wrong words, sentences that don't make sense, etc. I've gotten fired over this. But if you judge me solely on academic performance, you would never think I have these issues. Hopefully that makes sense. As I said, very difficult to explain.

Hmm. So you did a neuro-psych test, which must have ruled out heavy metal poisoning, hormonal issues, learning disability, encephalitis, etc., leaving you with possible dx only relating to MH?

When you talk about trouble with words, do you mean vocabulary, or word finding difficulty?

Losing a job because of your cognitive problems isn't something trivial.

If you don't mind my asking, what did the neuropsych test tell you? Could it be ADD? People who are very bright can get around this for a long time and hide it well, but inside it's really stressful, because it a lot of the things that should come naturally don't. But then things that are really complicated for other people can be easy if you have a strong interest. I have ADD and memy son does too. The memory problem has always been an issue and I always felt stupid although I knew I wasn't and I was always in the advanced classes. But I had to come up with coping mechanisms to get by. It has became more of a problem with age, because so much more is expected, especially in the workplace. My anxiety has always been through the roof and like you, basic talk therapy doesn't do it for me. In fact I get bored by it...I need to be actively engaged for it to work for me. Sitting and talking about my week seems pointless, and I already understand so much, I don't need someone to tell me what I already know. I want concrete help from therapy, something tangible.

Well, the neuropsych test was supposed to test for cognitive issues, although it struck me as more of a test to screen for extreme cognitive issues like those that would result from a stroke. For instance, they gave me a set of very basic math problems and asked me to solve them. Then the psychologist held his finger out in front of me and asked me to touch it, follow it with my eyes, etc. Then they gave me a board with different-sized holes cut into it, and I had to fit the corresponding blocks into the holes. So, for instance, I had to put the star-shaped block into the star-shaped hole in the board. I don't really see how my ability to do things like that is supposed to prove that I don't have the issues I'm experiencing.

I mean word-finding difficulty. Once I see the word, I know what it means and everything. I just have trouble pulling it to my memory. Like, I'll know there's a specific term that fits the sentence I'm trying to write, but I can't remember what it is. Sometimes I can find it by opening thesaurus.com and searching for a term that's kind of similar.

The neuropsych test showed weak spatial and facial recognition abilities and either average or above average everything else. It yielded a pretty average IQ of 114, which is 8 points lower than the 122 I received a few years prior. According to the neuropsychologist, the test wasn't designed to test for ADD, but he wrote in my report that he suggests my neurologist put me on ADD medication to see if it helped. The neurologist refused to put me on an ADD medication, so I went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said it didn't sound like I had ADD, but he put me on Vyvanse anyway. The Vyvanse didn't help. Then I told my GP that the psychiatrist told me I didn't have ADD since I didn't show signs as a child, and she said, "That's not true" and put me on Strattera. The Strattera didn't help either. Then the "psychobabble" psychologist said he disagreed that ADD was ruled out as a possibility. So basically...I don't know.

I feel the same about therapy. There isn't much about my situation someone can't tell me. I think I'm pretty intuitive in that sense. I know what my problem is; I don't know how to fix it. I've never met a therapist who seemed interested in actually helping me in concrete ways. They always just want to tell me what I already know, which is more frustrating than I can even begin to describe. Such a waste of money.

If you figure out what it is please let me know because I have the same problem and not just with psychobabble which my therapist thankfully doesn't use much. I ask " what does that mean?" frequently.

Have you been to a specialist who diagnoses learning disabilities or cognitive disabilities? You said this issue developed for you as an adult, so I think you're right that it wouldn't be a learning disability. It sounds like you suspect it's a cognitive disability. To tell you the truth, the symptoms you described sounded normal to me- not being able to remember a word and having to use a thesaurus is what I do all the time. I don't have a good memory but it hadn't occurred to me that there's much that could be done about it. Like I forget the last names of coworkers who I KNOW- have known for years- and I'll have to look them up in the directory to be able to find their email. But maybe yours is something more serious since you sound certain it's something that's not normal.

If you suspect it's a cognitive disability, maybe you could try to find out if there are specialists who diagnose cognitive disabilities. I don't know but I think there are. Maybe someone else on here would know better. I know there are a few people on the boards who identify with Asperger's. Maybe they would know how to find psychologists (or whatever title) can diagnose that. I'm kinda shooting in the dark, but maybe a specialist in diagnosing something like that would know more than a general clinical psychologist about the questions you seem to be asking about. I know you're right that you can be very intelligent and still have a cognitive or learning disability, so it does sound like that test you described having before was too simple.

Good luck!

Forgetting words? Oh hell, I do that all the time. I have an above average IQ and couldn't remember the word LIBRARY to save my life ths one time.

Me: We need to go to the place

Husband: The place?

Me: Yeah.

Him: What place?

Me: The place with the books

Him: The book store?

Me: No, the place with the free books.

Him: The shoplifting book store?

Me: LOL! NO! They LET YOU take them for awhile, but then you bring them back

Him: Library. You want to go to the library.

Me: Jeez, why was that so hard?

Like I said, above average IQ and I started getting like that in my late 20s. It just happens. Your brain gets scattered. It's no big deal.

It's not just the forgetting words thing. That was just an example. I'm not really interested in trying to convince people I have a real problem, though. People can believe that I'm being over dramatic or making something out of nothing, but it won't change the reality that I live with every day.

Holly crap I wish I had opened the thread sooner. I have a diagnosed learning disability and I can completely relate to everything that you are saying. I have supper high grades and do really well in school. I also write really well even though I can't hardly spell. The spatial problems that you are having and the face recognition are consistent with LD.

Your case is clearly being mishandled. You need to see a different specialist for sure. You need to have a full battery of test (it should take all day). You for sure don't have ADD, and should not be on stimulant unless you need it (which I don't think you do). As for your condition not showing up until now. You could have had a neurological event and not have know it (that can happen), or you could just be smart and good at compensating until you are under too much pressure.

I will PM you latter with all the resources I have about LD's and whatever else I can find on how to get the right kind of neropsy, cause clearly you've seen the wrong kind.

I would appreciate that. I see I have a PM, so I'll go check it now. I'm interested in what you mean by a "neurological event." I think I do have a neurological problem because the cognitive issues aren't the only issue...they're just the issue that affects my life the most. Before I started noticing cognitive difficulties, I started having other symptoms like balance problems, dizzy spells, numbness, really bad headaches (I never had headaches before in my life...I didn't even know what it felt like to have a headache), and pseudo-seizure like events. Sometimes I think I just have a neurological condition that isn't being diagnosed because I have sort of had weird little symptoms my whole life. My mom had neurofibromatosis, and two of my siblings have been diagnosed with it and have very extreme learning disorders as a result of it (my little brother is 18 and a sophomore in high school...my little sister has difficulties doing very basic things and has also failed many classes at her tech school). Who knows, though, because trying to get doctors to take my concerns seriously is like trying to hold a conversation with a wall. *shrug*

*edit* Just wanted to add that I'll respond to your message later on today. I have class at 8:30 a.m. and then have a bunch of work to do, so I don't want to rush to respond to you before running off to class.

neurological event just basically means, as I understand it, that something inside your body happened which damaged your brain, so something like a stroke or not getting enough oxygen at birth. Its kind of general term I think so there's pbobaly a lot of other things that fall under it. At any rate it sounds like you have a family history so it might just be genetics. But I don't thin the cause is as important as the symptoms you are having. They are what matter most. Based on what you wrote above it seems like you might just want to see a regular neurologist (maybe just to check that none of it is dangerous). They might be the best place to get a referral to a neropsyc. I think they should understand the physical symptoms and learning problems.

I'll look for your PM

I have been to neurologists. I've been to three of them, technically four, but I only went to the fourth once because he ordered another MRI, and I don't have any money left for anymore testing. The 2nd neurologist is the one who sent me to the neuropsych I saw. There aren't any other neuropsychs in the area to see. I dunno, I'm pretty much 100% certain that this is more a neurological problem based on how it all came on and based on how my head has hurt pretty much 24/7 since I got that first really bad headache in one spot, but the doctors don't listen and I don't have anymore money to give them anyway. Not much more I can do if doctors won't listen. I've already been to all of the "right" specialists.

Wow that is terrible. It sounds like you really have been trying so hard. I wish I knew what to say. The whole thing just sounds so unfair. I really do believe you, and I wish someone with a medical degree would to. I was told once by a neurologist that just because they don't see anything in their testing doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I don't know it that's any consultation. Hang in there. I don't know if you've looked but there is another forum linked at the bottom of PC for neurological issues, it be worth it to look into that. Maybe people there will have some insight.

Thanks, it's okay. I know there's not really anything anyone can say.

I actually was a member of the neurology forum a few years ago. Everyone in the forum basically told me to come here because I obviously just had emotional problems if the doctors say I'm fine. Then I came back a few months later and posted the same story seeking answers, not realizing I was in the same forum I had already posted my story in a few months prior. The mod deleted my thread and blocked my IP for not following the rules and posting the same basic thing twice under a different screen name. So now I just stay here. It's really unfriendly over there.:/

freefallin, when you get some money saved up i'd consider going to one of the mayo clinics if you are in the US. they really specialize in hard to diagnose cases and take a team approach to cover all bases of what could be wrong. i know someone who was getting the runaround from doctors for 2 years and she went to the mayo clinic in AZ (they have a few locations around the US) and they diagnosed her with lung cancer. she finally got treatment and was okay last time i heard from her. considering it was lung cancer it is a miracle she is okay after having to wait so long to be treated.

Holy crap! One would think stories like that would be rare, but they happen all of the time! I don't get why doctors can't just listen. She is VERY fortunate to be okay after a lung cancer diagnosis. Sounds like a lawsuit or 20.

I have looked into Mayo Clinic, although I wasn't sure if it was adequate to go to just any clinic or if only the original one was worth anything. I read an article once saying the lesser known clinics aren't nearly as good, so I wasn't sure. In any event, if I go to one, I probably won't be able to for a few years at the earliest unless a magical great job falls out of the sky. Once I turn 26, everything is going to get even more expensive for me because I'll age out of the insurance I've had my whole life. I'll keep the suggestion in mind, though.

she did have something else going on medically so i think it complicated trying to get properly diagnosed. she had HMO doctors so sadly it isn't too surprising how bad they were at least from my short stint also having an HMO. i seriously couldn't believe the horrible quality of care. good doctors do make all the difference.

you may be right about the original one being the best. i don't know. now that i think of it i remember hearing my grandmother went to the mayo clinic as well and finally got some back problems treated. i just know my mom always talked about how great they are and then with my friend we were so happy to see her get diagnosed & treated.

i hope you can get your situation figured out soon.

I agree with blur the mayo clinic sounds like a good idea (I actually never knew that they worked on difficult diagnosis stuff, that's really cool). I'm sorry to hear about the over forum, I had no idea. It makes me sad to hear that they weren't very supportive. I'm not sure if it's much use to you now, but were you able to see my PM.

Also did the neropsych not DX you with anything at all? Are you performing ok in school, or do you think you would benefit from accommodations?

Sorry, I haven't gotten a chance to go through everything in the PM yet. There are a lot of links and a lot of info to digest.

The neuropsych just said I was depressed, so I guess he diagnosed me with depression. He didn't have any learning disorder type of diagnosis. I perform okay in school, but again, it's because I'm good at finding ways to work around the issues. I don't really learn or fully understand a lot of course material, but on paper, my grades are fine. I don't think accommodations would really help any because I'll still have the same information processing struggles in a different environment. I couldn't get accommodations anyway though. No one is going to give me accommodations with a 3.95 GPA lol

Oh I just wanted to make sure the PM worked. Take you time going through it. That neropsyc sounds like a quack to me. As far as accommodations go it sounds like you don't need them for school, but if you think that you might want to go to grad school you might want to get them if taking standardized tests is hard. Most graduate level standardized test only provide things like extra time if you set president before. I really hope you can get things worked out down the line. I'm so sorry no one seems to be taking you seriously.