[tealBumblebee]

I had an odd moment this morning when the T clinic called about an appt. I was supposed to be at. I schedule my own appt's (don't like the whole middle man thing) and I accidentally double booked this week. Because I would have to pay anyway, they offered me a phone session. I declined. They asked about two or three more times and I just didn't feel it was necessary. I paid for the missed session and went on about life.

This may seem like no big deal to some, most of you - but it was a total eye opener for me. A long time ago, TinyRabbit mentioned that i'd become more "contained" as our relationship formed and I saw it today. Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming dependent on her, or miss her too much, or that her loose boundaries are unhealthy for both of us because of how available she is to me. I think about her a lot and her name is in my diary somewhere in every entry.

But, then I wonder if she's actually a lot smarter than I am with this whole "bonding" thing. There's many things she allows that from what I hear and read, are not really 'common' (small gifts, unlimited free emails, a good degree of self disclosure) and I wondered if the long run that this would be bad for me but maybe she's giving me exactly what it is I've needed this whole time!

Anyways, all that to say - the fact that I turned down the phone appt. where I could have talked to her and got a little extra "love" to push me through the week shows me that 1) i'm stable, 2) I have a respect for both of our time and 3) we really do have a quite a healthy bond. I appreciate her even more today than ever for helping me get to this point.

[Leah123]

Aha, great insights!
I can so relate.
I've definitely had that feeling that my therapist is smarter than I, emotionally and in terms of experience, when being so giving and accomodating with me.
The fears that her availability and consideration raise are ones often discussed here, but I tend to think that with a good therapist, they may be irrational.
That I've been gaining from the relationship, not suffering because of it. The dependency is so hard to bear sometimes, agitating, but the actual results are excellent.

So, I'm not really at that place, or only rarely, where I would typically pass on an appointment, but I'm glad you are, it definitely sounds like a good sign.

[HazelGirl]

I relate very well. My T is extremely available, and I am very careful with how I word things around here because some people might start jumping to conclusions based on how available she is. I don't see anything wrong with it, and I do believe it is helping me. So I continue on.

[musinglizzy]

Coincidental you posted this....as I just posted something fairly similar (about self disclosure and Emails)

[tinyrabbit]

I think you're doing fantastically well

For what it's work my T does some things that are supposedly not done eg letting me email as much as I want, self disclosure, and I think it is right for me - I think boundaries adapting to both T and client needs show your T is right for you!