[kororain]

So T told me this story before about a girl who was trying to resist a guy who wasn't good for her. She told it months ago as if it was about a client.

She told me the same story today and the girl was her. The girl was T.

Interesting.

What's up with that?

Does she feel more comfortable with me now, so she's being honest? Or does she just use this story at will and have it suit the situation? So like sometimes it makes more sense to be a third person, sometimes more sense to be her. Is it some story from a text book?

Weird, right?

[Perna]

I think she either just uses the story at will and have it suit the situation and/or she forgot she had told it to you Weird story though. Maybe she knows of two such stories, one about her and one about "a girl".

[kororain]

Super specific story, details identical in both tellings. It's just the first time it was "someone she had spoken with" and now it was her. Totally the same story. Totally.

[Wren_]

it sounds a bit like one of those stories where people say their friend did something and later it turns out that it was really them rather than a friend; did you ask your T about the change?

[kororain]

No, I don't typically call people on their ********. I just mull it over and try to figure out why they're lying.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by kororain

No, I don't typically call people on their ********. I just mull it over and try to figure out why they're lying.

I tend to do the same thing Kororain. Sometimes it's a good idea, sometimes not.
I agree with Tigergirl on this one. I would ask her about it - my guess would be she's using the telling of it to symbolize the change in your relationship with her over time.

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[HazelGirl]

Maybe she didn't really want you to think of her as an idealized person the first time, yet knew you better the second time and knew you wouldn't?

[elaygee]

Most Ts are taught to use examples but not refer to themselves and to tell it as if it was another client or person. I had this happen with my T. She felt like the first time it was important not to have a "me too" moment about her. So the second go around she said it was actually her.

[feralkittymom]

I don't think it's an issue of not being honest, lying, or weird. She objectified the story to not include the potentially complicating factor of it being personal. I don't see any way that it changes the intended purpose of telling you either way. Sounds more like a transference-based trust issue for you.

[kororain]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I don't think it's an issue of not being honest, lying, or weird. She objectified the story to not include the potentially complicating factor of it being personal. I don't see any way that it changes the intended purpose of telling you either way. Sounds more like a transference-based trust issue for you.

??? I don't see how? I think the things I said are just facts, not emotions or feelings or whatever. It IS weird to change your story. It IS technically a lie (one way or the other). I'm not emotionally invested in any way. I just find it odd and curious.

[NowhereUSA]

idk. i've told a story and changed the characters to protect either myself or someone else.

[kororain]

Yeah... I guess it's common to do that. I just don't. I'm sort of incapable of lying/changing things like that. I'm very fact based.

[NowhereUSA]

i do it online to obscure my identity. i'm paranoid like that lol.

[UnderRugSwept]

kororain,

It would throw me off if a T (or anyone, really) told me a story where the facts changed the second time around...but I am also very fact-based as well. Inconsistency drives me kinda nuts.

Doesn't seem odd really at all. Earlier in your working relationship, keeping the story anonymous may have been while waiting/deciding if you would/could handle/benefit from personal knowledge of her. This time, she felt giving the personal information would be okay for you.

I liken it to who I tell my own kids about certain things. I have to go with a certain age-appropriateness about how I tell them certain things. Full information can be confusing or overwhelming or simply not appropriate when they are younger, but they can handle the information differently as they mature. Therapy is kind of similar in that way, but instead of age appropriateness, a therapist is looking at emotional/mental appropriateness for a client, and that can change over time.

[stopdog]

I would not even believe the second story really being about her. I tell stories with various characters to students all the time to make various points. Sometimes I use myself in place of X - whether it was me or not. Sometimes it depends on the student as to what I put in the slot.

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by kororain

??? I don't see how? I think the things I said are just facts, not emotions or feelings or whatever. It IS weird to change your story. It IS technically a lie (one way or the other). I'm not emotionally invested in any way. I just find it odd and curious.

Well, "facts" with emotional connotations. "Lying" is a pretty strong negative to use if there's no emotional investment. And perceiving it that way seems like a trust issue. As Chris said, it's not a weird thing to do in many circumstances.

[kororain]

I guess you'll just have to believe me (or not) that I'm not emotionally invested. I do like to use colorful language though. I do it to be interesting... not because of emotions. I don't like passive language. It's boring.