[RedSun]

Hi
I have SId since I was about thirteen, very off and on, but the past couple of years it has been fairly regular.
However, I have managed to only minorly SI, ie I don't have to do too much until its enough if that makes sense.
I would like help with this from my t, who I have a good relationship with. BUT, and I know this sounds crazy, I feel that my SI is no longer bad enough to be an issue. Like she'd be 'what am I supposed to be looking at?' Or something.
Ugh, what a mess! And stupidly tempted to SI worse, so I have something to show her! But I am proud that I have lessened the harm, and I feel that I want her to know, though I don't know what I want her to do about it....

Has anyone else spoken to t about SI? Or had this issue? Pease help, feel like no-one else could have these ridiculous thoughts!

[glok]

Hello, Red75. My suggestion is to print a copy of your post for your therapist. You have a legitimate concern. Allow your therapist to help you with it.

I wish you well.

[HazelGirl]

Yes, I have spoken to my T about SI, and she has taken me seriously, even though it has been very minor and very rare. Mine is about as "not serious" as you can get, but she took it seriously and has helped me deal with it.

[RedSun]

Thankyou
Hazelgirl, can I ask how she helped you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to let it go, if you know what I mean...

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Red75

Thankyou
Hazelgirl, can I ask how she helped you deal with it? Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to let it go, if you know what I mean...

I totally understand.

She talked to me about it, about what triggered it and why I do it. And we have worked out some things I can do instead to try to help. And she didn't judge me for it. She was completely open and I know if I did it again, she wouldn't feel angry or upset at me. She would just want to help me.

[NowhereUSA]

i have spoken with my t about si. mine has never been enough to leave scars and so i thought 'eh, no one will think it's serious enough' but he took it seriously and helped me find healthier ways to cope. he helped me realize why i was doing it. he told me he had seen far worse but he didn't make me feel like my situation was any less. more he told me so i would feel at ease that he wasn't going to hospitalize me over it. he also talked with my hubs about it to help him understand why i did it so he wouldn't freak out.

over time, i learned healthier coping techniques and no longer si. i have, on occasion, indulged briefly, but i have found that my newer coping mechanisms are much more effective.

[ThisWayOut]

Si is unhealthy coping, so that alone can justify addressing it with your t. And if it's bothering you (which it seems to be at least on some level), then it's good to bring up. I'm guessing your t will not be judgemental about it, and you guys can work on what's causing it, what it gets you, and how to get that from something more healthy.
I can understand not really wanting to give it up though, and not wanting to address it for that reason. I'm at that point with my si, though I know I should probably talk more about it...
good luck either way.

[kraken1851]

Hi Red75,
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. My situation is very similar and I'm struggling to bring up my habit of SIing. In a way I feel it's too trivial and my injuries aren't "serious enough". But then I really don't want this to spiral into a more serious situation. So I'm very torn between bringing it up or just letting it become worse (which I know isn't a good option really).

[monkeybrains21]

I agree with everyone else. No matter how minor u see it, it needs to be addressed so it doesn't escalate. I do have scars I was very destructive as was my partner. We both feel te need to even now 6yrs later yet we have each other to support us. She also has her T and I have one too.

She and her T have been at it for 10yrs off and on, although not jut for SI. T and I have been at it 2yrs. She's aware of it but I think she's pretty confident I can prevent mysel from doing it. If not I'm sure I'd tell her about it. My partner was hospitalized for it, thy kinda lost count of them. I on the other hand have not been hospitalized for it. I probably should have been for lots of things I just didn't get help until recently and I for some reason have a way of giving up addictions on my own. It's all about timing for me.

[nottrustin]

You should definitely tell. It is not about the severity of it but more about WHY you do it. What is going on in your head at that point in time? Some of the reasons T said people cut are: they are hurting and feel the need to cry but to cry from psychological pain in their mind is a sign of weakness but crying from physical pain is okay so they cut, for the person cutting is a way of realizing pain or frustration, or a SUI attempt.

I have cut a few times. T has said she would never hospitalize me for it because she know that when I cut it is because I am frustrated or in emotional pain and just need to get the pain out. So we will work on how to better deal with the pain.

Other people cut as a SUI attempt in which case yes they should be hospitalized.

[HazelGirl]

I cut because I feel unworthy and feel like I need to punish myself for being so awful.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by Red75

I know this sounds crazy, I feel that my SI is no longer bad enough to be an issue. Like she'd be 'what am I supposed to be looking at?' Or something.

Ugh, what a mess! And stupidly tempted to SI worse, so I have something to show her! But I am proud that I have lessened the harm, and I feel that I want her to know, though I don't know what I want her to do about it....


Has anyone else spoken to t about SI? Or had this issue? Pease help, feel like no-one else could have these ridiculous thoughts!

Your not crazy. I felt the same way before I told my T about my SI. I wanted to tell him about it but didn't think he would see it as serious or see it as self harm at all. But he took it seriously without being judgmental or overreacting and has helped me find the triggers that lead to it. It's scary to bring up the first time but it gets easier each time and does help to talk about it. I know it's tempting but try not to make your si worse. It would suck to give up your hard work and pride for lessening it when you don't have to if that makes sense?

[ScarletPimpernel]

You should definitely talk to your T about any form or severity of SI.

I have suffered from SI'ing, on and off, for 19 years. Mine was minor/"superficial". Until last week... I never thought I could do so much harm. It really scared me. I thought I was in control of stopping myself and of being "safe" with it. I was wrong. Now I know SI can never be an option for me again. And now I am having to deal with the consequences.

Get help for even the minor things before it gets any worse. There's no need to make it loik more severe. SI is severe in all forms.

[monkeybrains21]

I did it from like age 8-18 to get rid I anger and frustration. I called it bleeding the anger. It was an immediate release of my anger and I have a very bad temper but it was my way of letting it out without seriously hurting others. Then from 18-22they were either bleeding te anger or SUI. some of those should have been an immediate hospitalization yet I was a pro at keeping all of It to myself and not letting others know. My last time was very severe and I actually did it in front of a bunch of ppl and I should've been in hospital for that one definitely. I wasn't those ppl never spoke to me again and from what I hear are still afraid of me to this day.

[RedSun]

Thanks everyone
I will try to talk to my T this week.
It's hard to think how to bring it up...but I will give it a go...
Though the thought of not SIing is making me feel v shaky
Thanks for all your comments, the advice on here is so helpful, and to know I'm not alone is amazing

[NowhereUSA]

you could write it out in a letter or note to read. just like 'i deal with self injury and i would like to find another way to cope.'

i know it's scary to let go of the SI. my t was very good about not pushing me too hard to quit but as we worked on skills, i did it less and less. i just... didn't need it anymore.

[precaryous]

I haven't cut for a long time. I cut because it releases pressure, like lancing a boil.
Sometimes I have been so totally focused on the ritual...everything needed leading up to the evnt..that it makes the bad feelings go away.

[growlithing]

The first time I tried to cut, I used a super dull object. I wasn't bleeding and I eventually gave up. I put a bandaid over it just to make myself feel like I was successful enough to stop. I did tell my T at the time that I cut myself but I felt super dishonest because I wasn't sure I actually broke skin. A few days later, I tried again with a tool I knew would work. I felt like I was obligated to.

This got worse and worse. I kept going deeper and I kept feeling like it wasn't deep enough to be taken seriously. Eventually, I wound up in the hospital and I have some nasty scars on my arm.

The thing is that my T took the time that I barely broke skin and left only faint marks just as seriously as when I went through an entire roll of paper towel in the ER. Why? Because the emotional pain behind it was exactly the same. The size and depth of your cuts does NOT determine the amount of pain you're in. All it determines is how many lies you'll have to invent to tell people in the future when they ask about your scars.

[granite1]

I very rarely tell my T when I SI . in fact I have not done it lately . when she first saw all my scars she commented that I must have been in an incredible amount of pain to do that to myself. and once when I cut myself badly I was put in the hospital . and one time I told her that I couldn't stop thinking about hurting myself. she said that I didn't need to do that to myself and that im not that horrible person who I think needs punishing etc.. we talked quite a bit about it . for the most art I don't share that part of me with her . im not ready to stop . I may never be . but I feel it is something personal to me and never want to hear im doing it for attention or anything . but I did like her reassuring words that I didn't have to do that to myself. it was kind of a strangely simple comment and concept that at the time just seemed strange to me .but I accepted it for some reason

[Banjolin]

My oh my I know how hard it is. I kept my SI to myself for years, and finally told my t about it once I had one. I was mortified. I literally could not say the words but he knew what I was trying to say and pulled a "do you want me to say it?" His response was everything I ever needed to hear about it, and even when I slipped up after not doing it for years, he was so perfectly supportive. Even though it's terrifying, I would bring it up. Doing so really helped lessen the shame I felt about it.
Good luck!

[Victoria'smom]

My T knew i SI. We tracked it and found out when i get to paranoid to ask for help I cut. So she did help.

[RedSun]

Had therapy today, and I (think) I was ready to bring it up.
But then something which didn't seem like a big thing then developed into something else iykwim so I didn't talk about the SI today. I feel very relieved about that
Though not so good about the other stuff

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Red75

Had therapy today, and I (think) I was ready to bring it up.
But then something which didn't seem like a big thing then developed into something else iykwim so I didn't talk about the SI today. I feel very relieved about that
Though not so good about the other stuff

Can you bring it up next week?

[skeksi]

I have talked about it with my T, a lot. He asked me about it intake (I lied) and then laterI admitted I lied about it. We talked about why I did it and how I felt about it. I was very clear that I was ashamed and wanted to stop so he helped me develop some alternatives.

I still have to bring it up sometimes when the urges are bad. One way to start is, "I have something I want to talk about but it's hard to talk about. Sometimes I hurt myself."

[PurplePajamas]

SI is the one thing that I am totally uncomfortable talking about with my T... actually, I am uncomfortable talking about it with anyone. I just feel like the people who haven't experienced it themselves just don't get it- T's included. Every time in my life that I have talked about SI- with anyone- I have felt misunderstood, embarrassed, and like crawling under a rock to hide. I do have scars that T has noticed and so he has brought it up, but every time I feel like a little kid getting in trouble. I hate hate hate talking about it.