[Tangerine87]

My therapist was gone for 4 weeks and soon he'll be back. I expected to struggle but I was fine. I just stopped feeling any emotion. Stopped thinking about things. Had a few moments but I basically didn't feel any thing didn't think too much. Makes me wonder why think about things if they cause me pain? Why feel if they cause me pain.

I feel kind of detached from him in a weird way. As if he wasn't my therapist. But in some ways I was attached it's weird. Feel like I've gone to a flat place. I thought I would write him letters but I didnt. I just feel detached from him. Is thT weird?

[HazelGirl]

No, you dissociated away from your emotions.

Why do you think about painful things? Because the alternative is a flat, bland, disconnected existence. And I can't think of anything worse than that.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

No, you dissociated away from your emotions.

Why do you think about painful things? Because the alternative is a flat, bland, disconnected existence. And I can't think of anything worse than that.

And sooner or later the calm shatters and it's like being hit by a freight train.

[Tangerine87]

Why is it that my toughest moments are when I'm in therapy? Usually I am in crisis mode often but in the last few weeks that he was gone, I've been fine. What does this mean?

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

Why is it that my toughest moments are when I'm in therapy? Usually I am in crisis mode often but in the last few weeks that he was gone, I've been fine. What does this mean?

It means you have spent your time pushing away your emotions, the things that cause emotional crisis. They're still there, and will be triggered by other circumstances. But the only way to resolve them and make sure they won't come out in other ways is to deal with them. And that means that often, therapy makes things worse before they start getting better.