[psychor]

Hi,

Life has put me in a wonderful situation. I am volunteering for a charity and I am interacting with a lot of persons who haven't been too lucky: hobos, male and female prostitutes, drug addicts, ex-convicted criminals, alcoholics... you name it, I meet them.

My only job is to serve them food. I don't want to change any of their lives, I don't want to play "saviour" or "hero". At all. They have their dignity to choose their ways in life and I respect that.

I have found though that they really appreciate it when you just hear their stories and feel related. Also known as empathy.

I haven't studied any psychology course or anything at all. But I want to "cheat" in order to understand them better. So I would like you to help me to "cheat".

I consider this a big opportunity to *learn* about the human being and, ultimately, about myself.

I haven't got the time to do a psychology course. But I would like to make the best of my time with them. I would like to extract as much information and teachings from them as I can. I would like to get to know why they have been drawn to that situation. I would like to understand them better, in order to see in them the mirror reflecting our common human nature.

So.

I would like to ask you for some excellent books on human nature, behaviour and psychology. Those full of insights, tips, knowledge and wisdom. In a kind of "cookbook" fashion.

For instance, written in this style:

- "A weak father and strong mother, with an unresolved Oedipus complex will lead to a weak, and then homosexual, son, because the mother has too strong of an image, compared to the weak state of the father. Psychologists argue that this same arrangement would also possibly lead to a stronger son, striving for compensation of his father's weakness."
Taken from: http://allpsych.com/journal/homosexuality.html

I know, nobody can expect to get the equivalent of a PhD by just reading some dozen books.

But I'm sure you get my point.

[Rapunzel]

The best way to learn about people is to listen to them. I am concerned that if you just read a few books, you will get a limited amount of perspectives and bits and pieces of theories without the knowledge of how to apply them. If you don't have time to take a class in psychology, I suggest just keeping an open mind and being a friend.

If you did have time to take a single class, I would recommend a class on multicultural studies, through psychology, sociology, education, etc. That will give you the most benefit in working with the diverse groups (people who are different from you in some way) that you are serving.

Rap

[okiedokie]

Give me a break.......

Have you ever heard of the internet????

do you have some internet resources you would like to reccommend? i'd be interested in hearing about them too...

hey there. it was nice to hear about your charity work! i've been thinking about volounteering for something like that myself. i need to suss that out sometime...

> I have found though that they really appreciate it when you just hear their stories and feel related. Also known as empathy.

:-)
oh yes indeedie. i don't know anyone who doesn't appreciate a little empathy
:-)

> I haven't studied any psychology course or anything at all. But I want to "cheat" in order to understand them better. So I would like you to help me to "cheat".

lol

> I haven't got the time to do a psychology course.

i'm not sure how much a psychology course would help you with what you are looking for anyways. people often find psychology courses are a lot different from what they think they are going to be. people often ask: 'how on earth is this psychology?' learning about such things as chickens pecking keys and the neurophysiology of colour vision...

sounds like you are looking for 'big picture' kind of stuff.

> "A weak father and strong mother, with an unresolved Oedipus complex will lead to a weak, and then homosexual, son, because the mother has too strong of an image, compared to the weak state of the father. Psychologists argue that this same arrangement would also possibly lead to a stronger son, striving for compensation of his father's weakness."

lol. psychoanalytic / psychodynamic theory is indeed 'big picture' kind of stuff. theories of human nature in general. what motivates us, what people are looking for, what people find meaningful etc etc.

i'll recommend some names and google searches should be able to help you out further. i'll also say that all of the 'big picture' theories are fairly controversial. i enjoy reading them mostly as a hobby. take what you can from them is my motto.

http://www.sonoma.edu/users/d/daniels/humanistic.html
there are some nice summaries available from the above link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget
http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/rogers.html

my current favourite:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinz_Kohut

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoanalysis

that should be enough to keep you busy for a while ;-)

if you find one particular theorist or school of thought that you seem to click with you should be able to find more via google

[psisci]

As a medical psych I could not do anyhting more for the people you describe than you are already doing. If you want more info about psych that is not goofy stuff you will get on the net use www.scholar.google.com. I agree with previous posters 100%, just hear the stories and be interested; that is the best you or anyone can do.

[froggie2]

I am finding what you are asking offensive and distasteful. This is my opinion. How dare you psychoanalyse them without their permission. Some people have it hard enough and just need to be supported and accepted for no other reason that that they are human with feelings and emotions. they are sharing with you their lives.How dare you turn them into "things". There are lots info sights out there if that is what you want.

Hey there. I really don't think the poster is meaning to 'psychoanalyse' anyone. My understanding is that he is supporting and accepting them but that is getting him reflecting on the nature of humanity in general. Not just as it applies to others but as it applies to himself.

I'm sorry if you have had bad experiences with people trying to 'psychoanalyse' you.

Did you follow any of the links I posted?

The Maslow one is fairly good...

Maslows hierarchy of needs...

Fits in well with the focus on empathy and acceptance (as do the other links I posted). Sometimes coming to some sort of understanding about human nature can actually help us empathise even more with people who have had very divergent experiences from us...

[froggie2]

I wanted to let you know that what was bothering me. The first part of your thread sounded great. You were trying to make a difference. What offended me was trying to play amateur psycologist and dig into people. ( last paragraph) You can do more harm than good. Truly listening and caring does way more good. A Smile, A gentle demeaner goes a long way. Not to mention GENUINE caring.

i think i understand what you are saying...

but...

well...

looks like the poster has vanished now anyway (he has only made one post on the boards)

there are some theorists who don't seem to have very charitable views of human nature. that is true. i did get the general impression that this guy was genuine, however...

just trying to understand...