[growlycat]

Does your T ever unwittingly give you the impression that certain things or topics make them uneasy? Even if they don't own up to it? And does it make you wonder what their triggers and issues are?

For example:

My CBT T shares his office with a child psych intern. The tiny room explodes with toys. I have always found that sort of funny and charming. Toys make the kid in me smile. No matter how solemn the discussion, there are those 3 dopey teddy bears staring out from the shelf behind T's head.

These toys and mention of these toys seems to annoy, disgust and even creep out my therapist. Those 3 teddies might as well be evil clown dolls by the way he reacts.

It makes me wonder if he was pressured to grow up too fast and shun childish things? Although he is a cheery, upbeat and confident guy, toys make him leery.

I hope my thread makes sense. It's hard when T's throw up boundaries because they slip and show themselves anyways.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

I totally understand what you're saying. My first thought was that if my T reacted like that I'd get a new T... But, my T doesn't listen to music & I am still with him.

I love that there are toys there. It would make me smile too.

[stopdog]

The one I see got all weird about the word dude.

On the other hand, one of the reasons I went to a second appointment is that she did not have any stuffed animals anywhere. They creep me out.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The one I see got all weird about the word dude.

On the other hand, one of the reasons I went to a second appointment is that she did not have any stuffed animals anywhere. They creep me out.

Ha! Made me laugh !!! I was going to say you would love my T but then again the guy talks too much, and loudly. Oddly, I like him anyways!!

[InRealLife45]

my t sees kids too, her office has tons of toys. she used to use them to talk to me, like puppets to get me to open up. she doesnt bother with them anymore though. she used to say that they would play with each other when we were out of the room then jump back to the spots we left them in afterwards, like toy story. she used to be really very goofy. now shes traded it in for very nutty.

the only thing that upsets her now is if i ask personal things- her IQ, her interests. she gets this look on her face like I've slapped her.

[growlycat]

Here is another example:

CBT T will make a strange throwaway comment once in awhile, alluding to mysterious other people who criticize him.

He will say things like:
"Some people say I'm a bit too structured"
"Others have said that I bark things out randomly and loudly"

and so on…

I keep thinking, have I openly criticized him??? Or is he talking about other patients? ****, is he alluding to marital discord at home?

I guess I am asking about those little things that make you go hmmm in therapy.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

my t sees kids too, her office has tons of toys. she used to use them to talk to me, like puppets to get me to open up. she doesnt bother with them anymore though. she used to say that they would play with each other when we were out of the room then jump back to the spots we left them in afterwards, like toy story. she used to be really very goofy. now shes traded it in for very nutty.

the only thing that upsets her now is if i ask personal things- her IQ, her interests. she gets this look on her face like I've slapped her.

Why would you ask anyone their IQ? I think that would make anyone uncomfortable.

[InRealLife45]

Bc I said something (I don't recall what) and she replied that she actually had a really high IQ and so, naturally, I asked what it was, and she balked, saying it was like asking how many tAmpons she used on her period.

If you bring it up it's fair game, I think.

[Solepa]

Another explanation: He could have some conflicts ( or frustrations) with the child T and therefore he doesn't like their stuff?

[rainboots87]

I've never seen either of my two long term Ts uncomfortable, which I'm glad for. I like that whatever I'm dealing with won't shake them.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Solepa

Another explanation: He could have some conflicts ( or frustrations) with the child T and therefore he doesn't like their stuff?

That is a great point! It could be more about his office/personal space boundaries consistently being disrespected (although the office we meet in isn't his main office at all. Truly a shared space)

I would love to hear what others have experienced with their own T's, those little cues that seem to have a deeper meaning (even if it turns out they don't.)
Or, that reveal bits of their true personality, not just the professional front.

Who is the man behind the curtain anyways?

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

I've never seen either of my two long term Ts uncomfortable, which I'm glad for. I like that whatever I'm dealing with won't shake them.

It's possible that I'm just hyper-vigilant about T's behavior and comments.

[RedSun]

Haha, I would love the toys too!
But not a sand tray. I HATE sand trays.
Yes, might be more to do with the other t he shares with, like why do they have to put their stuff everywhere sort of thing.
I have this thing of sort of leading t to the point, like telling a story really. She says she has never worked with someone like that before and that it throws her sometimes. Oops.

[growlithing]

All of my T's and LCM have been bothered by the room being even slightly in disarray. LCM would literally move all of us to a different room if it bothered her enough. School T hated blood but would always ask to see my cuts and then wince and look like she was going to pass out. I guess she just wanted to continue pushing herself out of her comfort zone.

LCM is full of personality and very vocal about how she processes the environment. The only thing that clearly bothers her that she will not articulate is the topic of suicidal thoughts. Even passive ones. When I first met her, she was really calm and collected about it. Now, she gets super uncomfortable to the point of almost being unable to mention it at all. She can handle if I say "I'm having passive thoughts" but if I get into it much, she looks distressed. Which I guess is fine because she isn't actually my T, but I worry that she'll always start to struggle with other clients after she gets to know them when she is a real T.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Yeah, it does sound as though your T has some issue with the toys being there, or finds it less than ideal to have them there. My T does react to things I say and do, but comes across as comfortable and confident in in herself - so a sense of discomfort has never been noticeable to me.

[UnderRugSwept]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Does your T ever unwittingly give you the impression that certain things or topics make them uneasy? Even if they don't own up to it? And does it make you wonder what their triggers and issues are?

For example:

My CBT T shares his office with a child psych intern. The tiny room explodes with toys. I have always found that sort of funny and charming. Toys make the kid in me smile. No matter how solemn the discussion, there are those 3 dopey teddy bears staring out from the shelf behind T's head.

These toys and mention of these toys seems to annoy, disgust and even creep out my therapist. Those 3 teddies might as well be evil clown dolls by the way he reacts.

It makes me wonder if he was pressured to grow up too fast and shun childish things? Although he is a cheery, upbeat and confident guy, toys make him leery.

I hope my thread makes sense. It's hard when T's throw up boundaries because they slip and show themselves anyways.

My guess is that he might be annoyed about sharing his space with someone else? I had a T who had two offices once...one in one location was all his and the other he shared with someone else and he wasn't nearly as comfortable there. He commented on it once saying pretty much exactly that...he didn't have his own chair there and it wasn't decorated to his taste at all. I didn't like it there much, either...it was kind of awful.
I was also just thinking that if I had to share a tiny space with that many toys like your T does, I would start to get overstimulated very quickly!

One of my Ts now sees a lot of children so he has board games and other assorted things...just one teddy bear, though. The teddy bear was sitting where I usually sit yesterday, actually...til I moved him. His office is small, so I am glad he doesn't have any more toys than he does, because it's already kinda disorganized and that makes me a bit nutty.

Back to your question about discomfort...the aforementioned T doesn't like health-related things. He has confirmed this...he also said he could not watch Bones, my favorite show, because of the "forensic anthropology stuff." (So he also gets grossed out fairly easily, I suppose.) I have a lot of health issues, and he looks uncomfortable sometimes when I talk about them. It doesn't bother me very much, though; I figure it's kind of an empathetic response (like, in a way he feels uncomfortable that I go through so much crap). I am the exact opposite about health related stuff (nothing bothers me) so I just keep going. I figure he can deal with it (it doesn't bother me if he shows that he is human...I actually prefer it), discomfort or not.
Overall, he discloses quite a bit and I know a lot about him, so there isn't too much to analyze!

I once mentioned that there was a mouse size hole in the skirting along the wall. T said, "sorry I need to check that' �� never seen her react like that before obvious found her mouse sized �� fear ��

Lol i would absolutely hate the toys there. Children make me uneasy, and the idea of child psych... Just... No.

[ThisWayOut]

I have not found anything that bothers my current t, but I have only been setting her for 6 weeks.
Previous t was made uncomfortable by some stuff I would not expect from her, as she was working in an assault crisis center, but she did leave because of burn out, so maybe that's why. She also had lots of toys and games in her office. I kinda miss it. Made the place feel safe. New t shares rotating offices (read closets) with other interns, so there's nothing of hers there that she does not being in for the session. It's kinda weird. And we are not always in the same room, so that throws me of a bit.

[Achy Turtle Armor]

The only time I remember my T being uncomfortable was the first time I admitted to finding out personal info on him. Recently, though, when I was IP I saw my normal T on a regular basis. He is in a different frame of mind when he is working in the hospital vs. his office so he kinda keeps it all "business." I asked him if he would acknowledge me when he saw me on the unit instead of keeping his head down or whatever. He said he would try.

I was so pleased when he said, "hey" to me the next day when I saw him wandering around.

[growlycat]

When I asked T where he went on vacation he got all "eeehhhhh…" on me. He did end up telling me but he is so careful to put the emphasis on me.

He doesn't know I wouldn't let it be all about him anyways