I recently started therapy in June. I stopped doing everything due to my depression. I was diagnosed with ptsd from childhood abuse. I never thought this affected me until I saw I always felt lonely no matter what I did in life. It took 29 years to discover this and I feel like I never got the life I deserved and have life passing me by at the moment.

I wish I had known earlier so I could've sought help earlier instead of seeking for more emptiness. I would have wished to have known and sought therapy in my early 20s.

This is a self pity post but I can only imagine where I'd be. I'm depressed, so maybe once I'm better I won't be thinking in terms of what ifs!

[musinglizzy]

ALL THE freakin' time...... I started in May. I needed it 30 years ago.

[Asiablue]

Yes! I wish I'd started in my early 20's or earlier even; I am 3 years into therapy journey. I started in my early 30's and I just feel like so much of my life has been taking up with bad stuff that I haven't properly lived yet. I'm waking up for the first time and I'm old (ish)

[growlycat]

I could have used it as a kid

[Favorite Jeans]

I tried many times in my twenties. I kept finding T's that were either terrible or just a poor match for me. It was so frustrating. I felt like I was never able to articulate what was going on for me and they were not able to create a space in which I could feel comfortable.

I don't know if I just got lucky this time or if I was just finally ready. It would have been nice to work through some of this stuff sooner, no doubt. But I think there were times in my life where the kind of therapy I'm doing now would have been my undoing. I just wasn't in a strong enough place to go there.

[justdesserts]

I tried many times before this time, but I've never found a therapist who worked with me as well as the one I'm with now, present frustrations excluded.

Sometimes I think I wish I'd started earlier. Then again, I really honestly don't think I was ready until now, and that's probably partly why my first 2 attempts at therapy years ago did not go anywhere.... they weren't the right T's, and I wasn't READY yet.

[justdesserts]

I tried therapy many times, but I never found a therapist who could help me until this time, present concerns aside.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Really, really wish I'd started therapy as a kid - definitely could have used it. Wish I'd started in college, needed it then too. When I finally did start, it was with the wrong therapist, then another wrong therapist. Then I quit for a while. When I started this time around, I was really ready for it and had the perfect therapist.

Honestly, I think the only way therapy would have worked for me, as a kid or even later would be if I had the therapist I have now or someone very similar to her. Since my T is only 10 years older than me...she wouldn't have been a T when I was a kid. So, I'm glad I have the T I have now, but yeah, definitely could have done with therapy at many points earlier in my life as well.

[Bill3]

Yes.
.

[anilam]

Can I join the pity party?

I started in my early twenties, am in the 8th yr of therapy and still I wish I started earlier... I missed on so many things and there so much to work on still...

I wish I'd found the right therapist sooner.

[RedSun]

Yes, I wish I had started in my early twenties. I wish someone had noticed how messed up I was, and suggested it. Self pity indulgence, sorry.

[someone321]

To be honest I'm not sure..

I remember being 15-16 and thinking bout going to school psychologist. 5-6 students from my class were going to her and recommending her a lot but I thought that probably she would have to report... And apparently as I was a minor I was right and based on my parents reaction when I was adult I am glad I didn't go to this school psychologist then...

When I was 20 my family got to know about something and I suggested that maybe I should see someone but my Dad laughed at me and just said that if I really have problems with sex then maybe I should... I had some savings so could have like 20 sessions (in my homeland therapy is always paid out of pocket) but then I decided to give a try and just focus on studies and friends... And it actually worked...

Now I think that if I had started therapy when I was 20, I would not have been able to focus so much on my studies and wouldn't be at the same place as I am now... Thus, in general, I think that probably it was not my time and I am glad that I started therapy last year...

I've been in and out of therapy since I was 15. Still wasn't early enough.

[brillskep]

Yes. I had some tough times in my teen years and I've been thinking (and my therapist agrees) that I might have dealt with everything better and made better decisions if I had had a good therapist then (I did go to see a psychologist but she wasn't professional so I ended things when I was ready to work seriously, because she couldn't). Now that you're asking though ... I'm not sure that I was ready then for everythjing that therapy involves. It may have helped me or I may not have let it help. As things are, I'm pretty satisfied with where I am in life, and I think that's what counts the most.

[Kated1984]

I tried therapy earlier, when I was 19/20. It helped short term but I wasn't in the right place to address the underlying issues. I still believed I'd had a happy/normal childhood or maybe I just couldn't discuss it with her at the time idk.
Although I wish I could've been where I'm at now a few years ago I'm just glad I'm here now.

I think I hadn't finished with my alcoholism earlier then when I did.
I believe my journey has been exactly as it was meant to be, and as much as I adore T and therapy, I think I wasn't ready until I was ready.

Oh God, God yes. Wish I had been in therapy as a kid to deal with this trauma I'm having to reopen now. Although I wouldn't have been able to talk well about it - still find it hard even now.

[Ambra]

All the time. I had asked for it repeatedly when I was dependent on my parents but they said no. I'm still in my twenties, but if I had started earlier, like 3-4 years ago, I think I would have ended university better (and I wouldn't want to start it all over again now) and I wouldn't still need to be educated to healthy relationships right now. Ah and maybe I wouldn't have had to fight an eating disorder.

[NowhereUSA]

yes. but the people around me had such a stigma about it that it affected me. i really needed to start seeing someone when i was like 16 but better late than never I s'pose.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by anilam

Can I join the pity party?

I started in my early twenties, am in the 8th yr of therapy and still I wish I started earlier... I missed on so many things and there so much to work on still...

I know it was said somewhat jokingly but having regrets about not getting what we needed earlier isn't a pity party. Think how much precious time has been lost from our lives, experiences missed out on, opportunities missed, lots of sadness to carry for so long, all things we cannot get back, those years are gone. I'd say regret is a normal response and not self-pitying. Let's be nicer to ourselves.

[Madison-ocean]

Yes definitely, considering, I'm 52 and just about finished DBT Group and DBT 1 to 1! after a year! And It has totally changed and saved my life!!!!

[nottrustin]

YES. T and I have discussed how the earlier help is obtained when it comes to PTSD the easier it is to make a difference.

[glitterrosez89]

I don't think it would have been helpful as a child or teenager. I was forced to see some counselors briefly during those years because my family was pretty dysfunctional, and the state made us talk to them. I never took them seriously or felt like I had any reason to be talking to them. I was annoyed more than anything that they made me be there. I do think I was pretty emotionally healthy back then. There were a lot of issues in my life, but I never got hopelessly depressed about them. Now I can get an email saying I didn't get a job, and I will cry for four hours because I feel like it means I will never get a job and have no future. Something has definitely changed.