[JaneTennison1]

Hi everyone

I'm new here and have been reading for a while.

I find that whenever I reveal something to T or feel vulnerable in some way I spend the next week telling myself my issues are not so bad and I need to get over it. I dismiss everything I had thought was a problem and I struggle to even go back.

T and I have been through this once or twice and she says it's normal I will push her away each time.

My question is, is there anyway to lessen or reduce this feeling. I'd quite like to work on my issues but this block of "it's not that bad, I just need to suck it up, I'm fine and don't need therapy" getting in the way every single time!

[Leah123]

Therapy isn't about having the worst issues ever.
Therapy is about an admirable commitment to yourself to be your best.
So perhaps if you try looking at your work just like you'd look at going to the gym (you don't need to be obese w/heart failure and diabetes to benefit from working out) you can spend less time on discounting yourself.

This is really familiar to me; I have built up a really strong and almost impenetrable defense mechanism which prevents me from emoting and tells me my problems really aren't that big (though on paper they look quite bad.)
My T has talked to me about identifying my triggers on the occasions I do get emotional and using that almost as a key into my own vulnerability. I have discovered I am fearful of being vulnerable or others seeing me as vulnerable due to my past, and I am slowly starting to trust my T as someone I can be vulnerable with. I still really struggle to access my emotions especially in therapy, but I think building up an understanding of why you're thinking way is the first step.

[pbutton]

I do this too. I don't have any solutions yet. T and I discuss this at least twice a month. Right now I've decided that my job is just to keep showing up and talking about the minimization.

[JaneTennison1]

One time recently T sid she didn't think I was telling her everything but that I had told her.... Then she repeated all the things I had said. They sounded awful, and yet still I think I'm wasting everyone's time by showing up.

[ThisWayOut]

I just talked to my t about this on Friday. Sometimes to get through stuff, we minimize. I think Leah made a good point though, you don't have to have the worst issues on the planet to benefit from t, you just have to keep going...

[precaryous]

If you could have "sucked it up and been fine" wouldn't you have done so and felt fine already?
Would it help to identify goals in therapy?

[Soccer mom]

Did your parents minimize your feelings? Mine did and so I feel just like you. I told my T. for months that I didn't like feeling vulnerable, didn't want to feel close to her, etc. I just told her last session that I'm worried she's going to think my feelings are ridiculous or that I'm overreacting. So, it will get easier as your T. gains your trust but then you'll have set backs. I've told my T. a lot of stuff but already dread tomorrow and have had the minimizing thoughts again.