Imperative & Useful Advice

Today started to take an ugly toll when I got a bit stressed out over "future" problems. Then, I remembered some very important words that my T told me last session that aided in how I accepted and handled the stressful situation. So, it got me to wondering - what's some (let's say three) of the most imperative words of advice that a T has provided you specific to your own healing?

Here are mine {all paraphrased}:

* 1. "The truth of the matter is, everyday won't be met with that 'content' feeling. We all have some days that are better than others. It's harder to handle the unpleasant days because we have to feel the feelings attached to them - but that's when we must choose how we respond (via healthy coping mechanisms) to help us overcome those moments."

2. "Yes they feel uncomfortable. Yes, allowing yourself to feel feelings can feel even worse than when the incident originally happened. But you know what? They're just feelings. And feelings are survivable."

3. "You are important to me [...] You matter [...] I love you."

* - Today's useful advice

Hello, tealBumblebee. Thanks for sharing.

1. Practice self care.
2. Forgive myself.
3. I do not have to deal with that issue today. I can put it on the shelf and deal with it when I am ready.

Good question Teal. Thanks.

1) consider the source of the advice when considering the advice itself. If you don't want the life of the person giving it, don't take the advice...
2) you matter, people care about you, but they can also be frustrated by you. It doesn't mean you don't matter anymore, just means they reached a breaking point within themselves.
3) eat chocolate if it makes you feel butter. Better even (stupid auto correct)...
4) do what you can, when you can.

If you want to be a normal kid, you have to do normal-kid things.

1) you are not broken.

2) find your feet!

3) I love your psyche

I don't know why I like that last one but I do. Maybe because no one has ever said that to me before. Useful, because if she loves it, then maybe I can learn to, too. And I have been.

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Oooh, I really like that one! Will have to add that to my sticky's

This is one I can relate to as well! T tells me "I like the way you think" so I can totally understand why that feels so important.

The therapist has never said things like this to me. Which, for me, is a good thing.

"Isn't it cool that we don't have to live in the past?" Yes, T, it is marvelous.

What I choose to share was something T said to me about a month ago, and I shared in in a thread I posted after the session.. It is something I have been trying to reflect on as oppose to the image I have in my mind that I am this bad, horribly offensive, disgusting person with issues.

T said this. Healed, the very core of you is broken. Its not broken because of anything you did, it's not your fault, you are not to blame. It's the fault of the people who abused you, who didn't treat you right. I'm not blaming you for causing problems. I simply want to help heal your core.

It may help to remember that these are old feelings. Your current situation is very different. You are now safe, loved, and help many people who are grateful. You have a great deal of value and much to offer the world; don't allow the old messages to play on repeat without offering a counterview.