[Soccer mom]

I have a hard time telling my T my feelings. Sometimes to the point of emotionally and physically feeling it hard to talk. If you have felt the same way, why? Why is it so hard? I can't quite figure it out. I keep telling her I worry about what she thinks but it must be more than that.

[Leah123]

Fear of rejection or judgement are the typical culprits.

Personally, when it's too hard to talk, that's often for me about trauma- one of the PTSD symptoms is actually an inability to verbalize parts of the trauma which takes time to work through, but many people deal with shame, guilt, fear, etc. around disclosing things that are significant or powerful or secret.

You might try playing the "what's the worst that could happen" game with yourself to figure out your difficulty. Imagine the absolute most awful outcome of sharing a feeling with her and it should tell you something about why it's so hard to talk.

At any rate, this is very very common in therapy.

Usually as you develop trust and feel safe, it gets, not easy, but manageable to share at a deeper and deeper level.

[ThisWayOut]

I have difficulties sharing because often times there are no words, or I cannot figure out how to put words around something (be it an event, a memory, an emotion, a current state of being). I find it easier to draw things or write them (though if it's not something hindered by shame, it's more difficult to write about because I don't necessarily have words for it)...

Did you try journaling and sharing it with t? Or, if you're not much of a writer you could paint, sometimes paintings are more expressive and evocative than any words.
I too have trouble verbalising myself and t told me it's because I was never encouraged to talk as a little one and because of being silenced I have learned that talking is bad so I tend not to talk now unless I have to. Asking for something I need is extremely difficult too because needs were not tolerated in our house and we were shamed for having them.
I think in time with practise you and t can find a way of exploring your feelings together . I still don't know how to name my feelings so t asks me what's happening in my body and then together we try to figure out what the feeling is and how it is affecting my body.

[Soccer mom]

What is so strange is that I am a very direct person. I have no problem stating my opinions and everyone sees me as being outspoken. She has seen that side of me. Then, ask me about my feelings and I sit there. Mostly worried about what she will think.

[Espresso]

I have trouble because I often don't know what my feelings are.

[kororain]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

What is so strange is that I am a very direct person. I have no problem stating my opinions and everyone sees me as being outspoken. She has seen that side of me. Then, ask me about my feelings and I sit there. Mostly worried about what she will think.

Me too.

My speechlessness is different things at different times. When she was trying to get me to discuss CSA, my speechlessness was because I was in that place and I was like a deer in the headlights. Trapped, unmoving, couldn't speak. She was asking questions and all I could do was shake my head no and make little noises with my lips clenched closed.

Other times it's becauce I really don't know the answer. "How do you feel?" I have no idea. I really have no idea.

Other times still, it's because I can't tell her what I think because it's too hard. Afraid of being judged, whatever.

Yet other times it's because I'm not sure what she's asking and there could easily be four different responses based on what she actually means.

And finally, sometimes it's because I know the "correct" answer, but I disagree with it, so I just don't want to say it. Stubborness... disagreement, whatever you want to call it.

[Freewilled]

I spent the last 1.5 years with this problem in T. So painful and frightening, actually....but lately it has started to lift. It's still there but not as overwhelming. I can't say for sure why, but the intensity is not as great. For me, I absolutely believe it is related to my trauma. It is a ptsd reaction like being in a flashback.

[sweepy62]

Omg so do I, I usually hide my emotions with anger. I guess it's worked well for me, so I thought. Now she has been digging at them because she says it's important in order to work CSa .

Anyway I always say I'm fine or angry when I mean I'm hurt and sad. I know how you feel. Tomorrow my assignment is this " why does expressing emotions honestly important?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Omg so do I, I usually hide my emotions with anger. I guess it's worked well for me, so I thought. Now she has been digging at them because she says it's important in order to work CSa .

Anyway I always say I'm fine or angry when I mean I'm hurt and sad. I know how you feel. Tomorrow my assignment is this " why does expressing emotions honestly important?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

interesting you say that. My T. was asking why I got upset at my dad and didn't cry until I left his house. I said I was mad. Then, she asked "has anyone done anything right lately". Yikes, uh, my friends. I think I do the same thing.