Couch 78: Put your feet up and stay a while

AAA- I'm so sorry you are getting it from all sides right now. You don't have to solve everything tonight. I'm sure your T cares and will help you break down the next steps.
But for now, just try to breathe and do something for yourself.

Thanks Growlycat. I just feel so alone with everything and she makes this feel even more accute. I'm at work atm and no-one would know any of this - I think that's part of the problem - I wear the mask too well. But inside I am breaking up. Thank you for your response. It means a lot. xx

Can you write it out for her? A list of what hurts right now? I have felt moments like that, where it seems no one cares, not even T. Try to hold onto T's care, if you can.
It's hard to keep on at work when you feel like your chest will explode.
I've had more than one cry in the ladies' room, just to get away from people.

Thanks Growlycat - that's really good advice. I do feel that literally no-one cares. writing it out would help.

i work in customer service in a call centre and get constant shouting at from customers and a team of guys who are all really weird. Just zero support from work as well. I know I need to find another job - this is just the worst environment for me atm. I'm not even allowed to go to the loo without logging out/begging someone else to take the phones! It's crazy.

I just hate my life sooooo much.

Thank you for your support Growlycat. xx

Why don't I listen to my T? The other week when he asked if i thought i was manic and I said no. Well I think I am. Seeing my gp on Fri and T goes on leave for a week.

That has to be one of the hardest jobs. I don't know if this helps, it probably won't if your response time is "tracked", but I've noticed that some customer service reps I've been on the phone with have a great sense of allowing themselves to take a pause or a breath. Just because the customer on the phone is going crazy doesn't mean that you have to get frenzied too. Easy for me to say.I know. I know.

I wish I could help more. You must have some awesome resiliency to deal with complaining callers. I'm in insomniac mode so I'm going to try to sleep again, but sending a little Zen your way. Take care!

I wonder if that is a good place for you to work. (Answer: no.) I wonder if you might be happier in a factory or an office where you don't have to deal directly with customers.

I threw my antipsychotics away as well as the script. I don't know what to do now.

I think I'll try lying quietly in a dark room and do some relaxation. Maybe that will help. I have been stable for so long, and now this.

Thank you. I had a great job (for the past 11 years) until January this year when I was made redundant due to my boss resigning and a new director being recruited in a different part of the country. I was a fundraising proposal writer for a national charity. It was perfect - but I wasn't deemed good enough and they didn't want to keep me. I was then approached by this company and took it as I was grateful to be offered a job. My H tells me to "man up" and hs zero empathy or support - he shouts too and tells me I better not F this job up as well.

Thank you for your reply. xx

Phone the doctor's receptionist and ask for a replacement prescription.

Good thinking 99! Why didn't I think of that. I'll call the chief as well.

Thanks

Think we'll need the cone of silence?

Just picked some tomatoes from a friend's garden. Now I am covered in mosquito bites.
I hate gardens.

Every rose has thorns.

Indeed - which is why I don't grow them.
OR garden. Usually the tomatoes are delivered to me, but friend is out of town and I am in charge of watering, pets, mail, newspapers etc.

Here i assumed you were a gardener. Composter and all that

"Non compos mentis: I don't think that's meant to be fertilizer." (A classic from I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue)

I do have a compost heap. But I have friends who come use it and who, caring more about yards and plants than I do, also do come and apply mulch and clean out the yard once or twice a year. I cut my own grass but other than that I expect the outdoors to fend for itself.

That sounds like a Daffy-nition from MAD Magazine Thanks, i needed that. The visit from my family broke my funny bone. Humor jumps out now like idk ghosts in a graveyard? Where before i could pick it out of the air.

I am actually allergic to tomato vines and cucumber vines. I can eat the fruit/vegetables, but cannot touch the plants without breaking out. And I am totally unwilling to expend time or energy on my yard. Our riding lawnmower has been broken for almost two years now, and now the push mower isn't working. My mother is horrified by my yard and I swear to god she has my sister drive her past JUST to be able to say she saw it and was so upset and horrified. What the **** ever. I think I may now be not fixing the mower just so I can say it is still broken and I may never mow the lawn again.

Your friend is feeling better then?

I'm feeling fat and stupid.

Any ideas why, CE? I've seen a photo of you once and you did not look fat.

For me, it's because I've eaten a metric butt-ton of chocolate no bake cookies and was totally weird and dissociative and flashbacky in therapy today. So. That's my fat and stupid story. Care to share yours?

sorry for rambling on the couch...
I feel like being extremely dumb because of being "smart" I'll try to make it as short as possible: before I came to this country I didn't know the local language at all, so I learned it for two weeks at home to skip the first level and accidentally landed in a pretty advanced course. Spent there 4 weeks (12 hours per week) from 3-month course due to the lack of time, but I learned something (basics were still missing as I skipped over 2 years though). Then I had 2 years break and a year ago I went again to the course - the same level but the whole course this time - 3 times a week for the whole semester finished with the exam which is a must if whenever I decide to apply for the permanent residence. However, after like 3/4 of the course I started therapy and as I was losing too much time, I stopped the course... Thus now, October is approaching and I am considering taking a course again... There is even one which is like the last 1/3 of the course from last year (but it still takes twice a week for the whole semester) but how many times can I take the same level??? And no, I definitely cannot take one level above because it would be a similar level to my English while in the local language I cannot even say a proper sentence... I've just forgotten everything...

Gash, if I only started a course from the beginner's level, I would probably be now more advanced than I am with skipping first two years of learning ...