[DelusionsDaily]

So, I kinda wish I could talk to old pdoc again. Not to have him as doc again but just to talk for a few minutes. A lot of things in my past make more sense in light of the paranoia I seem to experience especially when my mind races but at other times too.

I guess I'm just missing him a bit right now. Probably not healthy for me to talk to him but I can still wish....

[Can't Stop Crying]

Have you tried writing a letter of what you would say? you don't have to send it.....

[DelusionsDaily]

Actually, I have and I get half way through and think I just need to say it to him face to face.

Of course, this is all complicated by lingering unresolved transference. I hate when I get like all sentimental about seeing him. Ugh!! It would probably NEVER turn out the way I imagine it!

[roimata]

Can you not make an appointment? Like a wellness checkup? I don't know the situation surrounding your termination with him so maybe that is not a viable option. Are you with a new psychiatrist?

[DelusionsDaily]

Seriously, I'm CRAZY to want to see this man. He terminated me at my worst. Really?? Who does that? Yet, I'm in tears because I just know he'll never go for sitting and just talking for 5 minutes or less. How can I banish him from my mind? I mean get him out of my head...never to return in a single thought for the rest of my life!

[roimata]

I'm sorry you're struggling. It sounds distressing, and you may really want to consider hiring a new psychiatrist, or ideally a therapist assuming you aren't already seeing one, to help you work through the unresolved transference. It might not permanently banish him from your mind but it will arm you with the tools to cope with the traumatic dissolution of your relationship.