[precaryous]

I am happy about therapy today.

I have a few issues going on and if T had more hours available I would ask to see her twice a week. If she emailed, I would do that, but she doesn't. That just leaves the phone or sending things through the mail.

I noticed she called me to see how I was doing a few nights ago when I went an entire week without leaving a message or contacting her in some way. Today I mustered my courage and asked if it would be ok for me to call her more often. She said it would be perfectly fine if I called her on her cell a few times during the week to check in. We have a different number for me to call if it is an emergency.

I was hesitant to ask because I don't want to be any trouble.

I have never had a T allow this before. She seemed to welcome it.

I have to remember this isn't PrevT's therapy...this is CurrentT's.

Maybe it's because I have several issues going on and need the support, maybe it's because I am lonely. I hate to be needy. But I am happy to talk to her that often.

How do you contact T?

[ScarletPimpernel]

Emails: for random thoughts/feelings, questions, advice (but it needs to be as clear and concise as possible.)
Texts: for when I need reassurance
Phone call: for emergencies

I can email or call for scheduling.

I try to limit my emails to Tues night, Wed, and Thurs (I see her on Tues, it's her weekend Fri, Sat, Sun, and there's not much of a point to email on Mon).

[stopdog]

I write the first one emails or letters. I can call, but I rarely want her to respond. The second one encourages phone calls. I rarely do because I don't really find it helpful.

[musinglizzy]

Emails. I've actually never called my T. I have texted her, only in response to a text initially from her.

[glitterrosez89]

No contact outside of appointments. I prefer it that way.

Mine has said I can call outside of appointments but I rarely do. I used to email but suddenly she "isn't getting them" anymore. Hmmm. A passive-aggressive attempt at getting me to stop emailing? Perhaps. I can text also which I reserve for scheduling.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[JaneTennison1]

I can email or call for scheduling

Outside of that, an email to clarify something only. I know though if it was an emergency she would be ok with a call or email.

[Bells129]

If your T says it's fine, then it is. A therapist wouldn't do something they thought was crossing a boundary or if it was too much trouble for them. Personally, I never contact my T outside of therapy. She has rung me a few times to cancel and once to see how I was, but that's it. I never initiate it. For me though, it's because I feel majorly uncomfortable talking on the phone and because I don't pay to see her and I know she's really busy so I'd feel uncomfortable taking up her time...but if I paid for it, I'd want my moneys worth.

[ThisWayOut]

I have called T's in the past (rarely), and emailed the one that allowed it. Most recent previous T I did a blog journal for (she was only supposed to check it once a week before session, but she started checking it more often, which ended up weirding me out until she said she condisered it her "distraction"). Current T only will take messages, but rarely resonds. I had never called or emailed or written a t before a major breakdown 4 years ago. At that point, I was encouraged to call, but had a really tough time doing it. It's gotten a bit easier, but I still don't like to bother them...

[junkDNA]

T and i text, email, and talk on the phone.

mostly text though. he was out for a month and we talked on the phone 2x a week then. now he has a private practice set up and i email him sometimes. i use email for longer stuff or to send him articles i find on the internet. but yea mostly texting

[clairelisbeth]

I'm so glad that you have such a great T who is making you feel so supported! I completely understand not wanting to bother your T/be any trouble, and not wanting to appear needy. But your T told you it was fine-and your job is to trust that she is able to set her own boundaries, and that she wouldn't offer her support in this way if she didn't want to.

I can contact my T via phone call, email and text. I tend to use text the most-for logistics or if I need to ask for extra support. If I need extra support, I will sometimes leave a voice mail, but I find text easier, and I think that she does too. I rarely use email, but I've reached out that way a handful of times-ususally to clarify my thoughts after a difficult session. Sometimes, if I'm struggling with ED urges (to restrict, purge, or over-exercise), I'll ask her if I can send "accountability" texts/emails for a few meals or days, just to get myself back on track.

I usually contact my pdoc via text or phone. She hates email, so if I've definitely sent her email-length texts to clarify a thought or to ask her a question after or between a session.

They are both so awesome about getting back to me quickly. My T generally responds the way that I contacted her. My pdoc sometimes does, but will often call if she can tell by a text that I'm not-so-good.

Because they are so great about contact, I try very hard to not to get in touch unless I really need to.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Bells129

If your T says it's fine, then it is. A therapist wouldn't do something they thought was crossing a boundary or if it was too much trouble for them. Personally, I never contact my T outside of therapy. She has rung me a few times to cancel and once to see how I was, but that's it. I never initiate it. For me though, it's because I feel majorly uncomfortable talking on the phone and because I don't pay to see her and I know she's really busy so I'd feel uncomfortable taking up her time...but if I paid for it, I'd want my moneys worth.

You're right, Bells. I'm going to believe her. In the very beginning she said, "I want you to talk to me every time you want to." (Or something like that.) But I never took her literally. I'm like you, I know she's really busy.

I worry about being too much for her. If that ever becomes the case, I trust she will tell me.

I'm just surprised. I feel it's very generous and caring of her.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

T and i text, email, and talk on the phone.

mostly text though. he was out for a month and we talked on the phone 2x a week then. now he has a private practice set up and i email him sometimes. i use email for longer stuff or to send him articles i find on the internet. but yea mostly texting

I am glad your at is so available for you. I think I would feel comfortable e-mailing her. I think I communicate better when I can write out my thoughts vs. talking on the phone. But I also like hearing her voice.

It's like I'm in the middle of a full blown maternal transference and she is encouraging/welcoming it.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

I'm so glad that you have such a great T who is making you feel so supported! I completely understand not wanting to bother your T/be any trouble, and not wanting to appear needy. But your T told you it was fine-and your job is to trust that she is able to set her own boundaries, and that she wouldn't offer her support in this way if she didn't want to.

I can contact my T via phone call, email and text. I tend to use text the most-for logistics or if I need to ask for extra support. If I need extra support, I will sometimes leave a voice mail, but I find text easier, and I think that she does too. I rarely use email, but I've reached out that way a handful of times-ususally to clarify my thoughts after a difficult session. Sometimes, if I'm struggling with ED urges (to restrict, purge, or over-exercise), I'll ask her if I can send "accountability" texts/emails for a few meals or days, just to get myself back on track.

I usually contact my pdoc via text or phone. She hates email, so if I've definitely sent her email-length texts to clarify a thought or to ask her a question after or between a session.

They are both so awesome about getting back to me quickly. My T generally responds the way that I contacted her. My pdoc sometimes does, but will often call if she can tell by a text that I'm not-so-good.

Because they are so great about contact, I try very hard to not to get in touch unless I really need to.

Thank you, Clairelisbeth. She does appear to really want contact in this way, which is surprising to me. I mean, she actually answers the phone most times. If she is teaching or at a movie or something, she won't pick up but calls back when she can. I feel a little incredulous...is that the right word?

At the back of my mind I have this tiny doubt....if this extra contact is for me...or is it for her...so she won't worry? Maybe it's for both of us. I will see how it goes and maybe ask her.

I'm glad your T and PDoc are great at getting back in touch with you.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Mine has said I can call outside of appointments but I rarely do. I used to email but suddenly she "isn't getting them" anymore. Hmmm. A passive-aggressive attempt at getting me to stop emailing? Perhaps. I can text also which I reserve for scheduling.

Art, I would feel upset if T was saying she wasn't getting my e-mails.
But I think I know what you mean- I was leaving a lot of voice mails for her (that is how I was used to communicating with PrevT) but that didn't seem to work out too well with CurrentT.

[JustShakey]

T encourages me to contact him but I'm too nervous to unless I have a solid reason, and the only solid reason I can think of is a scheduling issue. I would have absolutely no clue how to go about something like asking for reassurance or just sharing thoughts. The shame would destroy me. And even though he seems to encourage it, maybe I'm wrong, and only scheduling stuff is okay anyway... But I'd be afraid to ask, because it might be insulting...
Right so. As you can see, I'm kind of a mess

[Solepa]

I'm very happy that your T is caring and offering support when you need it. As other said she would not offer something she is not willing to give.
In my case sometimes less means more. My first T never told me how she stands with between session contact so when I got overwhelmed once and send her email I did not know what she will tell me and that felt horrible as I hate to be told off. But she replied and said sending mails is ok. So I did send probably one email a month and she always replied. Problem was she told me one time I send more emails then other clients and that I have needs to be accepted more often then others. I felt horrible and very guilty. So even I was allowed emails and she replied it was very guilt provoking.
My current T allows emails too which she stated during first session but she doesn't reply as a rule unless it is an emergency. I send probably same amount of emails as before which is one a month but she never said it is too much. She even encourages me to write more. Last session she even hinted something about her replying to my email. I feel so much better about emailing with this T.

[NowhereUSA]

email or phone during office hours here. my clinic has a coaching line for its dbt clients which gets passed around to different ts like being 'on call'.

i email quite a bit during the week. (i think he prefers emails over phone calls). i'll email him my thoughts, musings, or whatever. he doesn't email back unless it requires it. i think i'd like more regular contact but truthfully i have a hard time thinking that would be healthy for me.

[pmbm]

I email my therapist quite a bit. Thoughts, pictures, questions. Also, if I'm really struggling with something. She does not always reply, but often does. She will bring up emails I sent at my next session. I've gotten a little discombobulated a couple of times when I have called her office phone and left a message about something I thought about on the way home from a session and she has called me back. I told her I did not expect a call back and she did not have to do that, and she just replied she wanted to.

[roimata]

Too aversive to vulnerability/the ick feelings that accompany reaching out for help. My therapist always says "call or text if you need anything," but you'd think after three years she'd start to realize I have more of a 'show up to appointments, fuss about people who have disrupted my existence in some way for an hour, bounce, fall off the grid for a week, reappear again for some reason at next appointment' essence about me.

I'm like a really annoying magic trick.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I am glad your at is so available for you. I think I would feel comfortable e-mailing her. I think I communicate better when I can write out my thoughts vs. talking on the phone. But I also like hearing her voice.

It's like I'm in the middle of a full blown maternal transference and she is encouraging/welcoming it.

i am also better at writing things than verbalizing them. but its gotten easier. there are some things i email T about that i know i wouldnt be able to say in person. so i use email and text to just get it out and let him know.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by roimata

Too aversive to vulnerability/the ick feelings that accompany reaching out for help. My therapist always says "call or text if you need anything," but you'd think after three years she'd start to realize I have more of a 'show up to appointments, fuss about people who have disrupted my existence in some way for an hour, bounce, fall off the grid for a week, reappear again for some reason at next appointment' essence about me.

I'm like a really annoying magic trick.

Lol, you sound like me, though I fall off the grid for two weeks to a month at a time I wonder if that makes it hard for T to keep track of me...

[roimata]

Originally Posted by JustShakey

Lol, you sound like me, though I fall off the grid for two weeks to a month at a time I wonder if that makes it hard for T to keep track of me...

I feel you! In my twenties and I still have tantrums. I'm like a useless toddler.

When I go back after month long disappearing stints my therapist is like "how was the extraterrestrial abduction? Get me a koozie?"

We need GPS tracking collars.

[HazelGirl]

I text my T all the time. She responds when she can, and let's me know when she will be out of town and unavailable. I find it to be very helpful for me.

Originally Posted by precaryous

Art, I would feel upset if T was saying she wasn't getting my e-mails.
But I think I know what you mean- I was leaving a lot of voice mails for her (that is how I was used to communicating with PrevT) but that didn't seem to work out too well with CurrentT.

I probably was emailing more than I should have. It wasn't like every day or anything, but probably still more than I should of. It's just weird for her to be anything other than straight up with me. Slowly I have begun to realize that I really don't need her as much as I thought I still did.