[iheartjacques]

18 months ago, t sat at his desk, writing in his file. Then over time, sometimes he'll push his chair back and look at me and talk to me. He often lowers his chair because he's tall and I'm so short so it's like we're eye level. Lately his chair has been getting closer to mine, I sit in a chair beside his desk so it's like right angle to him, although he'll turn the chair so it's more facing him, less than a right angle. Sometimes he waves his hands around when talking to me. Couple of times have been very rough, so he's just sat near me with his hands loosely held between his knees.

[stopdog]

That would creep me out. I am glad there is a table keeping the woman back from me.
Do you mind it?

[iheartjacques]

I don't know. I'm used to T's sitting directly opposite in a chair with nothing in between. But they haven't moved closer. One t did sit in a chair on a 45 degree angle and she was close enough to put her hand on my knee and say she was so sorry when I was upset after finding out my husband had cheated on me.

[NowhereUSA]

you could always switch things up, see what happens. sit on the floor, or move the chair, or insist on pacing while in therapy.

[iheartjacques]

Well I like him a lot. But I understand ethics. I don't think he'll touch me though. He's too neat and tidy. Except for his hair ha ha

[NowhereUSA]

my t does what i would think is 'normal' touching. he'll put a hand on my shoulder (like a a gentle pat or whatever) when i'm leaving occasionally. that's about it. he's hugged me once, but it was a very unusual setting. he says he's okay with hugging so i s'pose if i wanted it i could ask for it, but i prefer not to. i'm a hugger, but the therapy relationship is so odd to me that i'd rather just come home and hug my husband

that said, if i had a hard session again, similar to that one, i might ask and i think i'll give him one whenever we eventually end. but again, i'm a hugger (but i ask before hand!).

[iheartjacques]

Hm. Something to think about. Sitting in a different chair that is. I have moved the chair backwards a but so it doesn't feel like I'm so close. It's not a big room.

[SoupDragon]

We used to sit cross legged on the floor.

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

I don't know. I'm used to T's sitting directly opposite in a chair with nothing in between. But they haven't moved closer. One t did sit in a chair on a 45 degree angle and she was close enough to put her hand on my knee and say she was so sorry when I was upset after finding out my husband had cheated on me.

My therapist has rolled her chair closer to mine when she's sensed I needed to feel connected, and she's also done it when she's sensed me being disconnected. When I'm 'in good shape' she is at a normal distance - not too far a nd not too close. But I think that if she sensed I didn't like it, she wouldn't try to push it on me. She's really good in that way.. very attuned to my reactions to things. When I was going thru a difficult time I became very accustomed to her being close. Then one day I came for session and.she had a family crisis going on and was distracted... And sitting further away. It was funny how I felt about the distance. I didn't like it because I felt very raw. We had never discussed her habit of pulling up close when I was having a tough time. But I finally said 'you're too far away' and she smiled with warmth and delight as she rolled closer. That felt really good to me.

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

My therapist has rolled her chair closer to mine when she's sensed I needed to feel connected, and she's also done it when she's sensed me being disconnected. When I'm 'in good shape' she is at a normal distance - not too far a nd not too close. But I think that if she sensed I didn't like it, she wouldn't try to push it on me. She's really good in that way.. very attuned to my reactions to things. When I was going thru a difficult time I became very accustomed to her being close. Then one day I came for session and.she had a family crisis going on and was distracted... And sitting further away. It was funny how I felt about the distance. I didn't like it because I felt very raw. We had never discussed her habit of pulling up close when I was having a tough time. But I finally said 'you're too far away' and she smiled with warmth and delight as she rolled closer. That felt really good to me.

Wow - your T sounds lovely.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by Crescent Moon

My therapist has rolled her chair closer to mine when she's sensed I needed to feel connected, and she's also done it when she's sensed me being disconnected. When I'm 'in good shape' she is at a normal distance - not too far a nd not too close. But I think that if she sensed I didn't like it, she wouldn't try to push it on me. She's really good in that way.. very attuned to my reactions to things. When I was going thru a difficult time I became very accustomed to her being close. Then one day I came for session and.she had a family crisis going on and was distracted... And sitting further away. It was funny how I felt about the distance. I didn't like it because I felt very raw. We had never discussed her habit of pulling up close when I was having a tough time. But I finally said 'you're too far away' and she smiled with warmth and delight as she rolled closer. That felt really good to me.

This is super cute. Love it

To the OP, can you back your seat off and just say "It feels a lil close sometimes" keeping it lighthearted?

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid

Wow - your T sounds lovely.

She really is. She's not perfect at all, but she's perfect for me.

[GingerbreadWoman]

It's funny. Before I ever went to therapy, I always envisioned that I would be sitting in a chair with the therapist behind a large desk, kind of like when meeting with a college professor in their office. I thought the stereotype of the "therapy couch" was a myth. Turns out most therapists actually do have couches or at least very comfy chairs lol.

My therapist sits directly in front of me with maybe 2 or 3 feet between us. I once had a therapist who would literally sit on the opposite end of the room from me. It felt like I was shouting at someone a mile away. I didn't last long with her lol, but it's not necessarily because of that.

[iheartjacques]

None of my T's had comfy chairs or couches. Must be an Australian thing. Just chairs across from each other or in a group of three.