[lunatic soul]

When we lose someone we understand what we had.
I miss him too much.
Our last session was disaster.
I know I have good life- family, friends, guys who like me, job etc but I can't breath without him.
I sent him email but I know he won't replie to me. He is like a stone but I know he loved me... (I mean we love our friends, our dogs etc)
I can't understand how person could be so heartless. Doesn't he see he is killing me?
I want to bleed until I'm dead but I know I can't and I know he wouldn't care. It's just emotions, I'm dying. I don't want to lose him. I'm not ready to lose him.

[glok]

Hello, lunatic soul. You are grieving.

Coping with Grief and Loss: Support for Grieving and Bereavement

I wish you well.

[Petra5ed]

Hey I just saw he terminated you. Did he share a reason why?

[guilloche]

Hey Lunatic Soul - just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're hurting. (((hugs))).

[RTerroni]

Sorry you are going through this

[growlycat]

So sorry you are going through a painful termination. Did T say why? Did you get enough time for closure or was this a surprise?

What happened in your last session?
I am so sorry to hear it went so badly.

[lunatic soul]

Thanks everyone who said something or send a hug.
We were talking by a phone before where I said I want to leave and he accepted it. It was nice conversation, we said goodbye and wished well and he even told me he will always remember me and I will stay in his mind always.
Then next day I asked for one last session, I wanted to give him something petsonal from me for a memory. He agreed but it was a mistake to see him. I said I need him and its too hard to go away but he said that I said very clearly why I have to leave. I wanted to stay but he said we can meet after a mounth but when I went away and wanted to hug him to ease this pain he pulled me away and I felt so embarresed and miserable and it seems that he doesnt feel anything anymore. I texted him how horrible I feel but he didnt replie. So heartless. Im dying but he doesnt care.
At night I took 3 mg of xanax and smoked two cigatetes (I was given up smoking) and after three overs I went to job. Now I feel emotionless because xanax still works. I wanted to call my boss and said Im ill but I know I will break down if I stayed at home.
It hurts to be left by him and it hurts so terribly that he left me so heartless. He even didnt try to understand me. He seems so selfish. I cant be sober because if Im sober I want to kill myself.

I hope you are ok

[Victoria'smom]

Why don't you schedule your appointment for next month now so you can look forward to it.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Why don't you schedule your appointment for next month now so you can look forward to it.

Because I dont want to see someone who doesnt want to see me and who rejects me who doesnt care when I texted him how desperate I feel and he didnt replie.
I would like to see him if he was the same person but he turned to the stone and makes me feel so stupid. Im so broken and its traumatic to even see my psychiayrist, it makes me sick.

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

Because I dont want to see someone who doesnt want to see me and who rejects me who doesnt care when I texted him how desperate I feel and he didnt replie.
I would like to see him if he was the same person but he turned to the stone and makes me feel so stupid. Im so broken and its traumatic to even see my psychiayrist, it makes me sick.

I'm sorry he's handled this so badly. Just remember this isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong in seeking affection from him. From what you say he really could have handled this better. IMO therapists shouldn't change the boundaries without proper explanation in a way that the client could perceive as rejection. Especially if the client is vulnerable to the idea of rejection.
I guarantee he didn't mean to make you feel this way. It sounds like he was worried about encouraging your feelings and managed it clumsily.
Again, none of this is your fault and I hope you can come to terms with this loss

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I'm sorry he's handled this so badly. Just remember this isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong in seeking affection from him. From what you say he really could have handled this better. IMO therapists shouldn't change the boundaries without proper explanation in a way that the client could perceive as rejection. Especially if the client is vulnerable to the idea of rejection.
I guarantee he didn't mean to make you feel this way. It sounds like he was worried about encouraging your feelings and managed it clumsily.
Again, none of this is your fault and I hope you can come to terms with this loss

Thanks. I don't think it's my fault but I'm crushed.
I know I need help but if I go to other T or pdoc it reminds of all what happened and makes me want to die.
I know it's stupid to feel that horrible but I feel. I know he didnt want to destroy me but he did it. Everything we had turned to hell.

[lunatic soul]

It seems they deleted my thread about Ts and prostitutes. It was interesting to read other opinions why it is or not similar but they deleted it...
Maybe they thought I'm rude lol.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

It seems they deleted my thread about Ts and prostitutes. It was interesting to read other opinions why it is or not similar but they deleted it...
Maybe they thought I'm rude lol.

No, it was a great, interesting topic. It's just that some of the later comments got a bit personal and mean so the mods closed it. I didn't know it was deleted though...

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

No, it was a great, interesting topic. It's just that some of the later comments got a bit personal and mean so the mods closed it. I didn't know it was deleted though...

Not cool but I read some of them. Too much comments