[winterbaby]

I am going to be finishing therapy in about a week, and I want to make my last session meaningful and special. Any thoughts out there how to do this? I don't want to write a letter or give a gift as I don't feel comfortable doing that but I want to make it SPECIAL darn it!! I've been seeing him about a year now and we don't have this lovey dovey relationship like some have. But I want to make sure he remembers me. I don't want to be forgotten as just another client (although I know I am really just that. And I'm sure he has his other clients declaring their undying love to him at least 4 times a week so I don't want to do that either.) I just want to leave a lasting impression of how much I loved working with him. OK any ideas? Thanks in advance.

Words. From the heart, tell him how much you loved working with him and why. He's a human being and will be touched by genuine words of appreciation and affection.

ECHOES

[sunrise]

I agree with ECHOES. Give him your heartfelt thanks, tell him how much you have appreciated him, what he has meant to you, and how much he has helped you. Give details. Be warm. Be there. Be authentic and honest. Don't hold back. Cry if you need to. Give him a card with further thoughts at the end of the session, if you need to. Be sure to ask him if you can return to see him if something else comes up for you in the future.

(((((winterbaby))))) this is so hard. Best of luck to you. You're moving on to a new phase now.

sunny

[darkeyes]

My former T, wouldn't accept a small token of my appreciation when we were moving with job relo.
He claimed he follows the code of ethics psychologists are suppose to follow, one was not accepting gifts from clients.
It hurt me deeply, though it was not intentional.
I guess it depends on the T's personality too, I mean all I was leaving him, was a natural rutilated quartz pyramid,about 3 inches wide, something one would put on a shelf or desk. Well anyway he refused it and said "keep it and you can remember me by it." I think a card is fine, and doesn't fall into the category of a "gift", in case your T is following everything by the books.
My last T was not a PhD, just a Licensed Social Worker, I had her choose one of the scarves I knitted while I was on a knitting jag back then, I guess she was allowed to accept cause she was retiring and moving out of state, so technically it could of been viewed technically as a little "retirement gift" thingy.
That was a pleasant experience and different circumstance than the first and former T.
I wish you well, and that this will be a pleasant experience as you move on.

[winterbaby]

Hi and thanks for your responses, well I did what you suggested and gave him my heartfelt thanks, it really was the right thing to do.
At the end of it he said he would have liked to work together longer with me (not because I needed it but he enjoyed it). So that was really neat to hear.
OK now the transference is kicking in. Too late for me to enjoy it now! I'm done! Boo hoo! So, now the question, how to get over belated transference - when I know I'm not going to see him again or probably ever talk to him again. I'm convinced therapy sets you up to fall for your therapist eventually , no matter what. With some exceptions of course.
But this really really is a big pain. I didn't have those feelings in the sessions. Only now since we're done. Why did it happen after we're all done? I can't figure it out.

winterbaby, I'm so glad you had a meaningful ending to your therapy. It sounds like it was meaningful to both you and him.

I think your emotions were stirred up by the therapy ending and with your expressing your heartfelt thanks to him. It brought your feelings for him to the surface and you are missing therapy and missing him. I think it will get better as the missing feelings subside and warm memories take their place.