[Soccer mom]

My T has asked me to figure out why I need her to prompt me in therapy. As I posted recently, she didn't speak at my last session. I had the hardest time talking a lot. I can tell her something but maybe I don't or don't know how to keep going or associate it with feelings? I've read through my therapy notes and she's right. For a basic example, I'll say I'm mad at my mom for something she said and then I wait for my T to ask a question (which I guess is the prompting). I don't keep talking about how it made me feel etx.
First, I didn't realize she had to prompt me (first time in therapy).
Second, I'm not sure why I need this.

Thoughts?
And can I say how awesome you all have been on this site? I would have lost my mind by now if I didn't have this sounding board!

[HazelGirl]

Do you feel guilty talking about yourself? And therefore need "permission" to do so?

[kororain]

I never say how I feel either. Generally, because I don't know. I know Anger... and after that, it's kind of a blank.

[Soccer mom]

I don't feel guilty talking about myself.
I sometimes don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. It's like I don't know what else to say. I wonder if every time she "prompts" me, I feel like she's saying it's ok to keep going? Or maybe she's letting me know she wants to hear it? Stupid maternal transference!

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I don't feel guilty talking about myself.
I sometimes don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. It's like I don't know what else to say. I wonder if every time she "prompts" me, I feel like she's saying it's ok to keep going? Or maybe she's letting me know she wants to hear it? Stupid maternal transference!

I really think this is something you would benefit from spending time talking to your T about because she can see what situations you need prompting in (like with your emotions?) and what ones you find easy to talk about.

[ThisWayOut]

I am that way took if I get no interaction from t.I know part of mine is needing to know it's ok to keep talking, that t wants to hear about it, and that she thinks it's a worthy topic. I have a lot of self doubt though, and need lots of reassurance much if the time. I would have gone nuts in session if t didn't talk much at all.

[tealBumblebee]

Is it possible you feel like if she doesn't "prompt you" (aka show interest) that she doesn't really have a desire to know (even if it is important to you)? That's usually my outlook.

[SnakeCharmer]

Waiting for your T to "prompt" you may not have any deep psychological meaning at all.

In normal conversation with people, we say something and if we have any manners at all, we don't just keep blabbering away about ourselves. We wait for the other person to show interest or say something back or ask a question, even if it's only something as simple as, "Oh?" or "Hmmm?"

We're waiting for a social cue, or, in your T's words, a prompt. In normal conversation it's rude to keep talking about ourselves if we're not receiving social prompts either verbally or in body language from the listener. I don't find it odd at all that you or any other person would wait or want or expect social cues from their therapist, especially if they're new to the whole process.

But therapy isn't normal conversation. Maybe you're waiting for normal social cues from T and she's going by a different playbook. Maybe that's what the two of you had better figure out.

That's a great question!

I'm not sure why this is. A therapist might help guide us and keep us focused if they ask questions. It's also normal to ask questions to clarify, which is a therapy technique in itself, I think.

I was never that great at free association, but as I understand it, it's more revealing to speak without first filtering the content. I don't have issues with not filtering the details, but it often seems more helpful to choose the overall topic first before getting into the details.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

Is it possible you feel like if she doesn't "prompt you" (aka show interest) that she doesn't really have a desire to know (even if it is important to you)? That's usually my outlook.

That has occurred to me....