[lunatic soul]

I cant go to pdoc anymore just because of this stupid obsession. Everything inside me tells me-steal the notes and read what they think about you.
I was asking my pdoc to let me look there but she didnt let me and read some phrsses.
There are cameras and security.
I want to take them and run to toilet and read all of them or take pictures.
I see in my dreams I read it.
Its forbidden to look at these notes and I dont know why Im so obsessed with this.
Im afraid they will take me to psych ward if I take these notes away.
Of course I would give it back but I want to read it.
Im crazy.

[HazelGirl]

If you're in the USA, they legally have to give you access to them.

Could you ask again and explain your obsession and see if she will let you read them?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

If you're in the USA, they legally have to give you access to them.?

That is not true as a blanket statement.

I don't think there is anything strange about wanting to read the notes. In some jurisdictions, a patient has the right to read the notes - in my country, that is the case, and I would be within my rights to ask to read my T's notes, if I wanted; I think he probably keeps a private file as well, but the official notes are available if I should want to see them. (Nobody else is allowed to see them though - not even the health authorities.) I have actually discussed it with my T and he tells me that many people feel that need to see their notes.

Sometimes, the fact that something is forbidden makes it even more tempting. Again, nothing strange or crazy about such feelings. Can you discuss your strong need to see the notes with your pdoc? It doesn't sound good at all that this should stop you from going to see her.

[lunatic soul]

No Im not in USA and I asked but she says I must not. Also nurses never give me these notes in hands saying its forbidden

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by stopdog

That is not true as a blanket statement.

From what I understand, they have to give you full access to your records, including copies of therapy notes. The only exception is that if they believe the notes may be harmful to your emotional well-being, they have to take time to remove the potentially harmful parts before giving you everything else.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I don't think there is anything strange about wanting to read the notes. In some jurisdictions, a patient has the right to read the notes - in my country, that is the case, and I would be within my rights to ask to read my T's notes, if I wanted; I think he probably keeps a private file as well, but the official notes are available if I should want to see them. (Nobody else is allowed to see them though - not even the health authorities.) I have actually discussed it with my T and he tells me that many people feel that need to see their notes.

Sometimes, the fact that something is forbidden makes it even more tempting. Again, nothing strange or crazy about such feelings. Can you discuss your strong need to see the notes with your pdoc? It doesn't sound good at all that this should stop you from going to see her.

I will try to find what is written in law about it but my pdoc and also my t said that its forbidden.
Its not temptating because its forbidden, I just want to know what they really think about me and my issues and what they write there.
I cant see her because Im getting too anxious when I know I do nothing to read them but if I just took them it would end bad.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

I will try to find what is written in law about it but my pdoc and also my t said that its forbidden.
Its not temptating because its forbidden, I just want to know what they really think about me and my issues and what they write there.
I cant see her because Im getting too anxious when I know I do nothing to read them but if I just took them it would end bad.

Has it occurred to you that your Pdoc shows you what she thinks of you and isn't trying to "hide" something?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

From what I understand, they have to give you full access to your records, including copies of therapy notes. The only exception is that if they believe the notes may be harmful to your emotional well-being, they have to take time to remove the potentially harmful parts before giving you everything else.

It is the exception they rely on in terms of handing notes to clients. I "guarantee" it.
I get access as their lawyer to all the notes, but very rarely do they not rely on the exception to deny access to clients directly. Plus it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction as to how strictly or leniently the exception is worded and enforced as well as what the provider has to do in terms of allowing access and in what form.
To say they have to give full access in the US, without noting the exception and noting there are differences in the various jurisdictions, is incorrect.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Has it occurred to you that your Pdoc shows you what she thinks of you and isn't trying to "hide" something?

I dont really care about my current pdoc, I want to know about my ex pdoc who doesnt work there anymore.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by stopdog

It is the exception they rely on in terms of handing notes to clients. I "guarantee" it as far as it is possible for one person to guarantee anything to anyone else on an anonymous web site.
I get access as their lawyer to all the notes, but very rarely do they not rely on the exception to deny access to clients directly. Plus it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction as to how strictly or leniently the exception is worded and enforced as well as what the provider has to do in terms of allowing access and in what form.
To say they have to give full access in the US, without noting the exception and noting there are differences in the various jurisdictions, is incorrect.

I guess the ones being sued have something to hide. I think that if I asked, my T would probably give me all or almost all of her notes on me. And I think they would probably be pretty freaking boring.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I guess the ones being sued have something to hide.

Again, you are making an assumption that is not correct.
There are various ways an attorney can represent someone and it is not always because they are representing the plaintiff.
The reluctance is not always or even usually because the provider has something to hide.

[RedSun]

Here in the UK you legally have access to all your notes.

[guilloche]

Lunatic Soul...

Have you talked to your Pdoc about *why* you want to see the notes? I just wonder if there's something deeper going on with you, and having the chance to talk it out, in person, might be helpful?

Also... I don't know, I'd be really cautious about looking at stuff like that. When I saw the consult-T (for testing/diagnosis) - I convinced her to give me a copy of the final report (since my T wouldn't see me after that, I needed the report to bring to potential new Ts).

It was really... hmmm... unpleasant to read. Destabalizing. I found it very weird and uncomfortable to see things that you've said quoted back at you, without context, and used to explain a diagnosis. My report had things like a graph showing how people who were hospitalized for a disorder responded to questions, then my answers graphed over that... and the pattern was pretty clear... but scary to see in black and white. I don't know, it just shook me up and I'm not sure that anything good came from that?

(I'm also pretty sure that it upset me so much that I threw the stupid thing away, and now can't remember that... and can't find it.... so don't have it share with new T - boo!)

Anyway, I hope you can talk to your Pdoc about it more. Did you start seeing a new T yet? Maybe something worth talking to them about? If you have a new T, I wonder if they can request the Pdoc's file to read through, and maybe discuss some of the highlights with you?

(((Lunatic Soul)))

[anilam]

LS you so remind me of s.o. I knew from here from Lithuania...

IDK, where you're from, absolutely no idea about the legal right of patients in
Lithuania anyway... but if she is in her rights not to show you your files than there's nothing you can do but to talk about why you want to see them so desperately. This supposedly should lessen the need... doesn't work for me though

[Leah123]

I am sorry you don't have access to your notes. I dislike the power differential established when doctors or healthcare workers of any type withhold information from clients.

I can certainly understand it, but I do not like it.

[Perna]

If I were you, I would start a notebook and take notes while you are at the doctor's :-) Write what you think they are writing, write what you want to get from going to the doctor's, write about your obsession about the notes, etc. Every couple of times maybe you and the doctor can share notes :-)

[amandalouise]

here is a link for the standards the USA as a whole goes by concerning a clients mental health records/files.

http://drnpa.org/File/publications/c...th-records.pdf

that said under some circumstances individual treatment providers /agencies can also set their own guidelines/rules for how they will release mental health files to the client. for example where I receive my therapy I can at any time fill in a request for information form and obtain a copy of my files at my own expense, meaning I pay the cost of my treatment provider making me a copy of my files. where I work any client can verbally ask for a copy of their files and obtain them for free or released to a treatment provider of their choice....many USA states also have a rule where they will release the files to the persons medical doctor or new therapist/psychiatrist and that treatment provider is free to make copies or follow their rules/guidelines for releasing a clients treatment record.

outside of the USA some locations do refuse all access to the clients files due to the fact that there is no confidentiality laws and they may not feel it is in that clients best interest.

regardless of location sometimes it takes court action to release a persons files to the client due to the person having a court appointed guardian who is making that persons mental/physical health decisions.

my suggestion to the original poster is research what the rules/guidelines are in your location for releasing medical/mental health information and follow those steps.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Lunatic Soul...

Have you talked to your Pdoc about *why* you want to see the notes? I just wonder if there's something deeper going on with you, and having the chance to talk it out, in person, might be helpful?

Also... I don't know, I'd be really cautious about looking at stuff like that. When I saw the consult-T (for testing/diagnosis) - I convinced her to give me a copy of the final report (since my T wouldn't see me after that, I needed the report to bring to potential new Ts).

It was really... hmmm... unpleasant to read. Destabalizing. I found it very weird and uncomfortable to see things that you've said quoted back at you, without context, and used to explain a diagnosis. My report had things like a graph showing how people who were hospitalized for a disorder responded to questions, then my answers graphed over that... and the pattern was pretty clear... but scary to see in black and white. I don't know, it just shook me up and I'm not sure that anything good came from that?

(I'm also pretty sure that it upset me so much that I threw the stupid thing away, and now can't remember that... and can't find it.... so don't have it share with new T - boo!)

Anyway, I hope you can talk to your Pdoc about it more. Did you start seeing a new T yet? Maybe something worth talking to them about? If you have a new T, I wonder if they can request the Pdoc's file to read through, and maybe discuss some of the highlights with you?

(((Lunatic Soul)))

I was trying to explain her but felt so ashamed. I told her I need to know my history and she said-you can ask me but you can read it on your own. I can try once again but she is syrict and not understanding.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Perna

If I were you, I would start a notebook and take notes while you are at the doctor's :-) Write what you think they are writing, write what you want to get from going to the doctor's, write about your obsession about the notes, etc. Every couple of times maybe you and the doctor can share notes :-)

Nice idea
But Im too anxious when I see my pdoc, same with my T
I try to look what she is writing because she does it in front of me.
Doctors has uneasy readable handwriting too for example my ex pdoc.
I can guess that this is just one of my obsessions without real reason why I want to do this.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by lunatic soul

Did she also want to steal her pdocs/ts notes? Maybe its worth to know her to share our "the same" experiences
Sad she is away, its the second time when someone mentiones her. I like to know people who has similar experiences and I found that someone here has felt the same way about something but still isnt like me, we all are unique

Yes, I believe at some point she did want to do so. I think the impulse is probably fairly common.

[anilam]

No, my whole point was not trying to out you or force you to say from which county you were. Just that I can't give you any advice whether or not she legally can. Even if you said where you're from most posters are from US so the chance of ppl here being able to help you is slim.
What I was trying to say is check it out- you surely have some place to check your rights as a patient. Most countries that have pDocs and Ts would (and here goes another generalization. Fight her if you have a right to see your notes or if not discussing why should help
Stealing them, as funny as the idea is, is not really a solution now, is it?

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by anilam

No, my whole point was not trying to out you or force you to say from which county you were. Just that I can't give you any advice whether or not she legally can. Even if you said where you're from most posters are from US so the chance of ppl here being able to help you is slim.
What I was trying to say is check it out- you surely have some place to check your rights as a patient. Most countries that have pDocs and Ts would (and here goes another generalization. Fight her if you have a right to see your notes or if not discussing why should help
Stealing them, as funny as the idea is, is not really a solution now, is it?

Yes I will check it out
Stealing them is just one of cool dangerous activities which I enjoy but which used to lead me to disasters.

[ombrétwilight]

You could try finding out the laws in your area regarding these notes. Checking with a legal professional would be a good idea. If your T refuses to give you the notes, does she explain why she does this? I get that we all want to know what our Ts think about us - it's hard not to wonder how they truly think when it appears that they wear their "therapy-mask" in session. However, it's almost always true that they do care about us a lot, and perhaps they feel like we are not emotionally ready yet to process whatever is written about us. Maybe give it some time and see how things go?

Definitely tell your T about your obsession to pilfer them though! She could help you understand why.