[MirandaL]

I want to know if it could be transference when I saw some of my OWN behaviour in my therapist? It wasn´t at all that she did some "experiment" to let me see my own behaviour, it´s more like I saw similarities to my own behaviour and in the questions she asked me I could see similiarities to why and when I ask questions like those.

I feel quite stupid mentioning this to my therapist, perhaps it´s only me seeing things that doesn´t exist. But I felt something like "what goes around comes around" after my session with her and it was just a spontanious feeling.

Any clues to this?

[Leah123]

Transference is about shifting our needs or expectation in relationships, the ways we relate based on past key relationships, onto the therapist.

You don't mention any specifics so I can't guess, but if she's using similar language or speaking style or behaviors as you do, she might be mirroring, which can be done to help relate to you better, help you feel more comfortable.

I wonder what you mean by "what goes around comes around" - if you feel like sharing what happened in session, what she did that reminded you of yourself and some context, it might be easier for us to help, but really, the main thing is to ask her. Please don't let feeling stupid stop you. It's not stupid to notice something and wonder about it. Whether your observation matches hers or not, you'll learn something.

[HazelGirl]

Projection is what you're talking about. Normally, it refers to feelings. Like if you're angry, instead of owning that anger, you blame the T for being angry at you. But I would assume it can apply to actions, too.

[Leah123]

I considered projection, but that's not necessarily it at all: you're talking about her using a similar style, you don't mention any emotional content. I think the key is talking it through with your therapist more than worrying about what term it might be though.

Here are a couple definitions for you though: http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/...472/projection
http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/...2/Transference

If you did mean that she was acting negatively, such as rude or hostile, when you said "what goes around comes around" that might be tied to projection but it's hard to say with no info. Your therapist should be able to help you understand her intentions if you ask her.

I often ask mine: "Why did you say X" or "What did you mean by that?" Or, "Are you trying to be __________" when I'm not sure what feeling she's trying to convey. She doesn't seem to mind. I think it's better to ask than guess so we don't have misunderstandings fester.

[Perna]

I would definitely talk to your therapist about this. I think she would find it extremely interesting and exciting to discuss with you, not stupid.

HazelGirl mentioned projection, which is attributing to others things we have trouble with ourselves but I think it is more "reflection" which is seeing in others what we would like in ourselves or believe we see in ourselves. Therapists do try to "mirror" us so we can perhaps get an idea of what other's see when they look at us and I often deliberately recognize things I see in my therapist or others that I "want" for myself and copy them.

That doesn't necessarily mean that the other person is like you, just that your perception of them is like your perception of yourself at the moment. It's how we make friends sometimes, we see someone we are attracted to for something and, obviously, we like/want/have that something that is attracting us: the magnet and iron filing effect.

[Soccer mom]

Can you give a more detailed example?