In my last session my T asked me if I found therapy seductive; without hesitation I answered yes. It it an emotive word, with various interpretations, but I felt it described perfectly how I feel about engaging in therapy. He said that is how he felt when he was in therapy.
I have read some people on PC talk about therapy purely as a business transaction, but the process is so ambiguous, and individual.
Would you describe therapy as seductive?

[NoddaProbBob]

What do you mean by seductive? That to me is associated with romanticism.

I would describe it as manipulative and integrative. Not manipulative in a negative light, but more as a venue of change.

[Perna]

For me it means something I am drawn to in a deeply emotive way, something I find enticing and...well...seductive!

As I said it is emotive and can have romantic connotations so it is open to interpretation.

[growlycat]

Yes, I do find it seductive! Then again, I do need that carrot on a stick to get myself to do the work!!

[ThisWayOut]

I'm not sure I would describe it as seductive, though maybe at times it is. I find it to be more of a release or a way to reach the ultimate goal of relief from whatever bothers me. I find learning and education seductive in the sense of enticing, so I guess when I'm learning about myself it can be seen in hindsight as seductive, but not necessarily in the moment.

Addicting, too.

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[msxyz]

I wouldn't use that word to describe therapy.

[musial]

I saw the title of this thread and immediately thought, "YES!!" So, yeah.

[lunatic soul]

Yes therapy is seductive.
But I'm sure that we can't feel this way with any T.

[kororain]

Nope. Not even a little.

[GingerbreadWoman]

To me, the word seductive implies romanticism and sexual enticement. I can't say I've ever felt a therapist was trying to appeal to me in a romantic way. Cathartic or motivating is maybe a better word.

[rainbow8]

Yes, I do feel that therapy is seductive. That's always been the way it's felt to me. Not all the time, but often, and it's why it's been so hard to leave any of my Ts.

My thoughts: my therapist is seductive. I don't think he does it on purpose, but my wild guess is that perhaps dozens of his clients have fallen in love with him over the years.

He is very sweet and cute, but protective and very masculine at the same time. I don't know who could not be drawn to him, loving him to pieces.

[JustShakey]

I would never have thought to describe it as such, but yeah, it is. Not the therapist, but the process. The process tends to become attached to the T in our minds I think, but it's not really about the T...
I have mixed feelings about addictive. With previous T I sometimes used to think therapy was like a bad drug. I'd feel good afterwards for a few hours or maybe a day and then I'd be upset again and wanting to see her right away. It was like withdrawal...



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[HazelGirl]

I wouldn't describe it as seductive, no.

[Bells129]

Seductive is the perfect way to describe it.

[guilloche]

For me, no. It feels downright aversive! I hate it, and if I thought that ignoring my problems and just continuing on in my life would work... well... I'd do it in a second.

Interesting though, I mentioned T to a friend tonight (mentioned that I was filling sick b/c of my appointment tomorrow.) He said that it really is more of a luxury to be able to go, and that he would love to have someone to listen and figure out his brain (but he doesn't want to pay!).

Interesting perception. For me... it just feels soooo hard.... not at all seductive. More like resetting broken bones? Painful, but necessary to get healthy and grow in the right direction?

[stopdog]

Not to me. I think it is like paying to be tortured. And not good torture but the bad kind.

[musial]

I want to clarify and elaborate on my response. Therapy itself is seductive to me - I am drawn in by the connection, the feeling that this other human being is actually understanding me and wants to be with me in this intense process of self-discovery and healing. I am also attracted to my therapist, which probably motivates me to some extent, but in no way is my *therapist* seductive to me... that would scare the crap out of me and I would run for the hills if that were the case! Therapy works for me because my therapist is completely safe and non-seductive. I am actually sure that he would never do anything to compromise our therapeutic relationship.

So it's really different (and better) for me that it's the therapy process, not the therapist, that's seductive to me. Even when it's painful, something always brings me back and keeps me wanting to show up and do the work.

[feralkittymom]

I think for someone who is reflective, the process itself can be engaging and that can be seductive. I tend to think when the seductive quality is perceived as attached to a T behaving appropriately, it more likely reflects the client's projections. And that feeds back into the therapy.

[Rive.]

Seductive has erotic connotations attached to it. It is quite disturbing to attach this word to the therapeutic space. Who seduces? Who is being seduced? If I had a therapist who found therapy seductive, or described it as such, for one they’d be in the wrong job & secondly i’d be out that door.

At most therapy creates some sort of illusion of, or one-sided, intimacy in the sense that the client divulges their inner workings and ‘real’ self etc. But that’s it. The T doesn’t reciprocate. The T-client relationship doesn’t have to be all clinical and cold, but it is not a friendship, it is not where seduction takes place -or at least shouldn’t be. It is a cooperation between two people where there can be amicable warmth but attaching 'seduction' to this context?! This is cringeworhty. And, for me at least, the wrong word entirely. The concept itself is plain wrong.

Only in as much as a baby finds its mothers soothing tones comforting.

IDK if my post was one that is triggering or not, but what I was referring to is 'being drawn to' or 'being drawn in' by someone (non-sexually). I always thought seduction in therapy is often referred to in that context (am I wrong?).

It could be all of the clients stuff, and it probably leans that way more often than not, but I think the dynamics in the room/of the relationship, which can be very subtle and/or unconscious, are almost always created by both/co-created.

Sorry if anyone was triggered by what I had said. My post had nothing to do with sex.

[elliemay]

Nah. In fact, sometimes just the opposite. Sometimes it's just helpful to be able to tell someone "You know I'm a mess, how can we put this back together?"