[ToeJam]

Bit of background I guess, being seen by the crisis team at the moment as recently come out of hospital. As is the nature of the crisis team in the UK, you don't get much consistency in who you see and as such it's a new face each visit.

Last Sunday a lady came round and had quite a long chat with me... digging into more of my background than I'd expect as usually it's just to check how I'm transitioning into being back at home and current state of mind.

Noted that I had childhood trauma issues and asked questions about my T (thought this a little strange), as in what approach(es in my T's case) she uses and had she established a safe place for me to use while dealing with trauma work.

Turned out she is a T herself on the side (instantly wondered if she was fishing for work as I pay privately rather than through the nhs for therapy - consistency being the key issue) and was critical that my T had me establish a memory to retreat to (of before the crap hit the fan... ironically, it was a poor memory to use as it brought back other memories I had supressed). She went on that T's have different ways of doing things but that she would never use an actual memory of the client for this purpose... though some do.

This work had been done a week or so before I crashed and ended up being admitted to hospital but I've contributed it to a number of factors.

Now, not for one second am I going to drop my T... she has been amazing and I acknowledge that crap happens. For obvious reasons, my T is holding off doing anymore of the foundational work until I am well out of crisis point and am more grounded... but wondering if it's something to mention at a later time?

Has anyone else experienced this as a problem?

Grumbled a little at the nit picking of the lady above... I don't really need negative inclinations towards those I have faith and trust in right now (my stability is a little fractured so, yeah), but that's a whole different kettle of fish.

[Leah123]

Lots of people use real places from memory as their safe place. I don't see anything at all questionable about it. What's important is that the client feels control over the process and chooses where they're most comfortable, whether that mental retreat is a concrete or abstract one. I wonder if she was fishing for clients too.

Sorry you are struggling!

It's hard to predict what will come up when we discuss the past, so... I don't think your therapist or you could have predicted the exercise might backfire and it sounds like you had a number of other factors actually contribute to your crisis. It's just really really important to focus on stabilizing right now so you don't have such a strong reaction going forward. We who've dealt with trauma have inner minefields sometimes, and sometimes... we have to map them the difficult way.

And yes, I'd mention it to her if the memory you chose was triggering.

Her focus on getting you grounded now is just right.

[Rohag]

Hello, ToeJam! I've had much more experience with pdocs than Ts, but every T I've seen had a different approach.

Personal Opinion-Guess: By all means sometime bring up what this crisis team T said when you meet with your private T. It could generate an interesting and possibly valuable discussion.

Regards!

[HazelGirl]

I think if you use a real memory, you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure it won't trigger you. It sounds like this one you chose was triggering and maybe you need to switch it to something else.

[ThisWayOut]

I think it might be worth a chat with your t. I have used a memory as my safe place, and it has been a relatively neutral place (a beach I had gone to relatively recently). I've never been good at finding a safe space that I had not previously visited... Good luck with it all.

[ToeJam]

Just an update as spoke to T about this today.

Thank you to all that replied, not ignoring the relevance of your contributions... just that the below was the one that symbolised what was brought up tonight.

Originally Posted by Leah123

It's hard to predict what will come up when we discuss the past, so... I don't think your therapist or you could have predicted the exercise might backfire and it sounds like you had a number of other factors actually contribute to your crisis. It's just really really important to focus on stabilizing right now so you don't have such a strong reaction going forward. We who've dealt with trauma have inner minefields sometimes, and sometimes... we have to map them the difficult way.

And yes, I'd mention it to her if the memory you chose was triggering.

Her focus on getting you grounded now is just right.

I brought up the issue of a safe place tonight as a form of grounding, but referred to the backfire that occurred before I went into hospital. Was not blaming my T in anyway (seriously) but she volunteered an apology and said that she had not been able to pick up on cues she normally would due to my almost involuntary mask that I have in place (I don't even know I'm doing it half the time )

Going back to trauma work is still well off of the cards for now but we worked on an imaginary safe place tonight and I'm to work on tapping it in over the next week.

Will see how things go

Thanks again for the replies.