(The trigger warning is more for me, because just thinking about this makes my hands shake, but I don't know if anyone else would be as bothered.)

I get my health care, including mh, from an HMO. A few years ago, they switched my medication management from my pdoc to regular doc. I thought it would only be for refills and that sort of thing. A short time after, I stopped taking medication, as I tend to do every few years.

I didn't think anything more about the role of my regular doc and medication management until I had a wellness exam that included a no good horrible gyno, which I've only had a few times in my life and this was the absolute worst. Afterward, while I was still undressed and on the exam table, she started asking me questions about my moods and mh status. I felt totally unable to object and went along with it.

There was no one else in the room the whole time, which I've noticed happens when it's a female doc doing the exam, so I thought maybe I was just overreacting. Still, it felt horrible and violating because the exam had been so very painful and she was standing there right next to the used instruments, oblivious to how I might be feeling exposed. And I was in too much shock or numb or something to say anything.

Flash forward a few years....I have been struggling a lot, lost my therapist (who moved), and contacted the HMO to see if I could get back in to see the pdoc, only to find that he was no longer there. I scheduled with another one who asked if she could let my regular doctor know (I said NO). I see the new pdoc in a couple weeks.

My question: do I tell her I don't want my medication management switched to regular doctor ever again (and the reason why, if I can possibly even say this out loud), or am I being too sensitive?

You have a right to advocate for yourself. You can just tell her you want to remain with a pdoc and you are not obligated to say why.

FWIW, I have also had a horrible experience in the past with a female ob-gyn performing the most hideous, god awfully painful exam I have ever had.

[ScarletPimpernel]

You have the right to choose where you don't want to receive treatment from.

My primary doc is a Pdoc. My Pdoc is also a primary doc. Both of them work together. I do NOT ever want them to take on the other's role (and luckily they agree).

I found out that the next time I get a obgyn exam I'm supposed to go to the "women's center". I will NOT! There is no way I'm letting a stranger do it. It's already difficult enough to have to go through it.

Also, my primary was recently out on maternity leave. I had to see a doctor while she was out. I wound up having to see a male doctor. Since I have an extreme fear of men, a female nurse stayed with me the entire time.

So you definitely do have the right to request accommodations when it comes to your treatment.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I would absolutely tell your pdoc that you don't want your primary doc involved in your mental health management. Even if you can't explain why, just saying "no" should be enough. I think it would be helpful and validating to explain to your new pdoc why you don't want primary involved, but you don't have to.

I recently told my pdoc that if he needs me to have any blood work done because of my new meds, I will NOT be going to my primary doc. He said that's not a problem, he can write a prescription for the tests I need and I can take it to any lab that does blood work.

Personally, I think I'd be looking at getting a new primary care doctor. There are ones out there that are much more sensitive to mental heath issues and the vulnerability one feels during exams. It took me some trial and error, but I found both a primary care doc and an ob/gyn who are both phenomenal. Both do their exams and are gentle and understanding and talk me through every step. Then, as soon as they're done, they instantly step out, let me get dressed, and then come back in to discuss anything they need to. It did take me not settling for the first doctors I met and it did take me insisting on consultations and talking to the doctors in their offices before the first exam to find the right doctors for me, but it is possible.

Thank you so much, everyone. This helps a lot. I'll try just saying that I don't want my mh treatment under regular doc and hope that's enough.