[Yearning0723]

T has been encouraging me for several weeks now to go to the doctor to have some stuff checked out, because I have been feeling really, really sick lately...migraines, back pain, stomach pain, dizziness, issues with temperature regulation (being too hot and then too cold), difficulty sleeping, and constant, constant fatigue that makes it really difficult to sit through any of my lectures. So I knew I should go to the doctor, but I've been putting it off for awhile because I am very frightened of doctors and I don't like people touching me. But finally over the past few days it's just been so bad that I was having difficulty even getting out of bed, and was just pushing through because I had to go to school.

So I made the appointment and went in today and the doctor took my temperature, listened to my heart, etc. and said everything felt normal, but it might be a thyroid issue (which runs in my family) or a vitamin deficiency or it might be plain, simple stress. She wanted to do a blood test to run a test for the potential thyroid issue...I have an insane phobia of needles, stemming from many bad experiences with them, starting at age three when I was very sick and needed to go to the hospital and have a needle every week, and one time the nurse couldn't find a vein and in my mind, I thought it must be because the needles were killing my veins. So from then on I had an awful phobia of needles. My skin is also super thin and very sensitive, especially in the crook of my elbow - I was literally cringing when the doctor even touched the crook of my elbow to check for a vein.

Anyway, I got super hysterical about the needle and I was crying and hyperventilating even before she put the needle in (and she was using the smallest needle she had) and I kept crying and crying and crying...I felt like a baby and I was really embarrassed, but I was also really scared and my skin is so sensitive that it hurt a lot, even though it wouldn't be a big deal for most people. I mean, I dealt with it, I had the needle eventually...but I'm 19 years old, not five and I just felt really ashamed of myself.

I will probably talk about this with T tomorrow...she would probably be understanding...but seriously, what 19 year old cries because of a little tiny needle? I am disgusted with myself. And I still feel incredibly sick and dizzy and have the worst headache of my life, I think. And the place where the needle went in is still throbbing, even though they took blood seven hours ago. I am literally that sensitive.

[BlessedRhiannon]

You know - if you're already feeling ill, emotions really seem to be magnified. What you might normally be able to handle without crying (like a needle) is just that much harder to deal with when you're already not feeling well.

I'm so sorry you had such a difficult experience at the doctors, but please don't be too hard on yourself about it.

[Leah123]

I'm so sorry you had a rough time at the doctors. I'm glad you went though. Of course sometimes the greater good of seeing to our health requires some frightening concessions, like putting up with needles.

I have a similar fear regarding the dentist. I usually white knuckle through but two appointments ago, even with my daughter in tow, I had to stop in the middle of a procedure and leave due to a panic attack that had me crying and pushing as hard as I could to hold back those tears.

It was uncomfortable and very very difficult to go back for a follow-up appointment to finish the procedure, but I did and it was much easier as I knew what level of anxiety to anticipate.

My T was indeed very comforting about it. Sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on. Your trauma around needles and the subsequent reaction make perfect sense and don't reflect badly on you.

I just hope that you get some comfort and get to feeling better soon. Your discomfort is surely exacerbated by anxiety, hopefully you're doing some soothing things and I hope you're able to take some pain meds in the meantime while they sort out a treatment, that headache sounds awful!

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I'm so sorry you had a rough time at the doctors. I'm glad you went though. Of course sometimes the greater good of seeing to our health requires some frightening concessions, like putting up with needles.

I have a similar fear regarding the dentist. I usually white knuckle through but two appointments ago, even with my daughter in tow, I had to stop in the middle of a procedure and leave due to a panic attack that had me crying and pushing as hard as I could to hold back those tears.

It was uncomfortable and very very difficult to go back for a follow-up appointment to finish the procedure, but I did and it was much easier as I knew what level of anxiety to anticipate.

My T was indeed very comforting about it. Sometimes we just need a shoulder to cry on. Your trauma around needles and the subsequent reaction make perfect sense and don't reflect badly on you.

I just hope that you get some comfort and get to feeling better soon. Your discomfort is surely exacerbated by anxiety, hopefully you're doing some soothing things and I hope you're able to take some pain meds in the meantime while they sort out a treatment, that headache sounds awful!

They wouldn't give me any medication until they know where the pain is coming from...which won't be until next Tuesday at the earliest. I took Advil, which didn't help, even a double dose. I've also tried Tylenol and Motrin. None of them helped. I am pretty miserable...I've been trying all that mindfulness stuff old T tried so hard to teach me...but it hasn't helped much, if at all. But I'm trying...I'm making sure to eat lots of fruits and vegetables and protein and to get some exercise (but for some reason, any exercise, even just walking around the block, makes the headache throb even worse - so does moving my head down or leaning down to pick something up). I'm doing my best, and I went to the doctor today because I knew it was the right thing to do...

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

You know - if you're already feeling ill, emotions really seem to be magnified. What you might normally be able to handle without crying (like a needle) is just that much harder to deal with when you're already not feeling well.

I'm so sorry you had such a difficult experience at the doctors, but please don't be too hard on yourself about it.

I wish it was just emotional magnification. I usually cry at needles - I haven't had one in two years, actually, and I am so terrified of them. The only reason why I was okay with even having a needle at all last time was that a) the doctors were very worried I might have a bacterial infection (I didn't - it was just bronchitis), which would have been very dangerous considering I don't have a spleen, and b) both of my parents were in the hospital room with me holding my hands and amazingly not even fighting with each other. They divorced when I was three and I think that's the only time I can remember in seven or eight years where they were in the same room together and not fighting with each other and it just felt like a normal family and that made getting a needle a bit easier that time...

[feralkittymom]

They can use topical lidocaine to help with the needle pain. Tell them you need it!

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

They can use topical lidocaine to help with the needle pain. Tell them you need it!

Is that the numbing cream stuff? I asked them about that, but they didn't have it...next time perhaps I will do better research and go somewhere that does because I need it.

I'm sorry you had such a rough time at the dr but glad u r looking after yourself. Needles, yeah, my uncle is almost 70 and HE faints even if he sees a needle, even if it's for someone else. He passes out cold and hits the floor. Me, I am terrified of the dentist. Last time I had to have work done I went practically hysterical and told them to call my husband and he came and held my foot for the whole thing so I could stop crying . Ugh. So you are not alone! I hope the dr gets u feeling better soon!!

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[Victoria'smom]

Could something like buzzy

[roimata]

If it's any consolation, when I was seventeen, I had a complete meltdown in my GP's waiting room when she mentioned the possibility of me getting the HPV (I think) vaccination. The nurse was frozen with shock and all the other patients were eying me like 'the hell is this girl's deal.' Like, histrionics, the world is ending, having a panic attack and sobbing situation.

I also avoided needles like the plague up until I was being hospitalized monthly for anorexia related complications. Now I can get stuck no muss no fuss but I still have anxiety leading up to the actual thing.

Phobias don't require logic to function and they don't discriminate against age. Nobody is judging you, doctors and nurses see that kind of thing all the time. It's a common phobia! But I'm sorry this experience was just as bad as your past ones. You should certainly bring it up with your therapist if there is lingering anxiety. And especially if it's disruptive to your wellbeing.

[Brightheart]

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well and had a difficult visit at the doctor. My daughter is fearful of doctors too (she's 18). You aren't alone. It's good you pushed through your fears and got tested.

I have been struggling with very similar symptoms for sometime now and went to the doctor several weeks ago for blood tests too. I also have insomnia and have been dealing with a lot of stress in my life. She prescribed me Trazadone for sleep. I've been uneasy about taking it so I haven't yet.

I hope your tests come back okay and you feel better soon. Take care.

[SnakeCharmer]

POSSIBLE TRIGGER ... Video Talking About Needle Phobia Treatment at Bottom

I'm so sorry your had a difficult time due to your needle phobia. Sounds like you had some bad childhood experiences that set the phobia into place. I had a phobia from childhood that absolutely paralyzed me with fear. It was not only highly inconvenient for me, but for the people around me. Once we had to walk 4.5 miles out of our way because I couldn't -- could not! -- take a simple short-cut that nobody else had a problem with. I almost passed out just looking at it.

But that phobia is mostly cured through the use of CBT exposure therapy. It's the sort of thing that works really well with a needle phobia. It could really help you to not suffer in this way. Sometimes I need a brush-up course if I'm going somewhere I know I'm going to be exposed to my phobia and I haven't had to deal with it for a while. But the important thing is that I can now do things that were impossible for me before.

I'm providing a link to a YouTube video of a girl talking about how she overcame her needle phobia through graded exposure. She's talking about it. But she does start out holding a syringe for a few seconds. If that might bother you, you can choose another video. Search for "CBT needle phobia" and you'll find something that might help. Perhaps your current T can consult with a specially trained CBT T who has the specialized skills to do this correctly.

Good luck to you. I feel so much better since I overcame my phobia that I like to share it with other people. I had tremendous improvement within a month.

If watching a video is too triggering for you, maybe your T will look it up and watch it and figure out an effective treatment plan that starts very slowly for you.