[Crook32]

I am not going to change so why do I bother going to therapy. I am just wasting my T's time.

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[Raging Quiet]

Change is slow and frustrating; you can remain stagnant for years then life changes which in turn changes you.

[Soccer mom]

Maybe you have changed and you don't realize it?

[Crook32]

I don't think I have. I am just as miserable and pessimistic as ever. I am just so tired of it all.

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[stopdog]

I do not believe a client can waste a therapist's time. Therapists are paid for their time. I believe a client can waste their own time and money and if one feels such is the case, then perhaps taking a break or trying something else is a good plan.

[musinglizzy]

I'm feeling this way too.

[nicoleflynn]

I guess the question is: Do you WANT to change....that would be the key; if you want to you can.....takes time. Hugs

[Crook32]

I am not sure I care anymore.

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If you dont think its helping, then dont go anymore.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are feeling so stuck. I get that way sometimes. Then I bring it up with the T, and we work on other things for a bit... maybe (if you want to stick with T though don;t feel it's making a difference for your focus issue) you could switch up what you work on for a while?

[StressedMess]

I hate change. I get stuck in my rut and operate there on auto-pilot with very little deviation from the norm. I get so comfortable in my rut that I never want to venture out of it. Even when it stifles me and makes me angry and miserable. Even when I hate how I feel and the way I behave. It's so much easier to keep going on auto-pilot and save the energy for the things that really matter, like fueling my rages and bottomless pits of despair. I realized that I was so miserable I wanted to change, which is very far outside of my comfort zone.

There is one portion of your OP I want to challenge you on. "I am not going to change. . ." Did you mean you are happy with things the way they are now and have no desire to change? Or did you mean it's too much trouble to change and the benefits don't warrant the trouble?

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[Wren_]

Is changing the only reason you were going?

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by StressedMess

There is one portion of your OP I want to challenge you on. "I am not going to change. . ." Did you mean you are happy with things the way they are now and have no desire to change? Or did you mean it's too much trouble to change and the benefits don't warrant the trouble?

I mean that I am too damn stubborn to change. I don't know why I am resistant to change except that it may scare me. I am not happy. I just feel like it isn't worth it and just let the depression win.

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[Crook32]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Is changing the only reason you were going?

I am there to try and manage my depression and anxiety.

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[StressedMess]

Ok I'm going cliche crazy, but I've had the "change" conversation about 5 times today. I knew I wasn't happy living in the throes of depression. I knew I had exhausted every mental reserve I had. I knew something was wrong but I had absolutely no idea what it was. I went to pdoc and T to get help because I could not "will" depression away.

My T asked me what my goals for therapy were, and I giggled. I don't know what's wrong, how the hell am I going to fix it?

She asked if I was committed to making changes to improve mood. I grudgingly said I am resistant to change, but I realize I can't keep living this way, and I'm fresh out of ideas to improve. (Here comes the cliche. . .)

Doing something the same way every time and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Of course that made me mad as hell, but I ruminated over it as is my way, and I realized it pissed me off so much because the label fit.

I have to take tiny baby steps out of my comfort zone, and slip back and forth from comfortable familiar dysfunction to new and frightening peaceful place. Eventually I will get better, because I'm determined to.

So maybe instead of fearing "change" you should fear stagnating and misery.

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