[Leah123]

Hello all,

I'm seriously sleep deprived, disspirited and disconnected. I wrote my therapist and she wrote me back, so I asked her if I could call for five minutes and of course, she went offline. I'm telling myself that's proof she's real: she probably needed to go eat dinner, as I'm feeling she's not quite real at the moment. (Session tomorrow can't come soon enough.)

So, I thought it'd be a pick-me-up to see if anyone wanted to help me come up with ideas for what I might ask my therapist for when she makes a video for me. I'm not sure when she will or how long it would be, but... I was thinking of asking her for 15 minutes.

Do you all think that sounds reasonable? I asked if we could collaborate as to what would be on it, and she said sure.

What do you think would be nice to have?

Some of the nice things about our interactions I might like to preserve include poetry she's introduced me to, reassuring things she's said, visualizations or anti-anxiety type exercises... I just don't know!

[guilloche]

Oh Leah, that sounds neat! ... and I love to brainstorm!

- I *love* the idea of relaxation exercises or guided imagery... although, if the point is to SEE her, that might not be best (since I assume you'll close your eyes for the exercises!)

- Since you're remote, what about a quick tour of her office... where you'd normally see her, if you were in-person? Or is this too far from the idea of seeing *her* on the tape?

- Repeating any lessons that you've learned, but sometimes need reminders of? You know, like... "Remember... it is ALWAYS OK to ask for what you want, even if the other person says no!"

- Any shared jokes?

- I hope she'll put some lovely positive thoughts about what she likes best about you... for you to listen to if you're feeling down. Maybe it's just me, but I think that would be so helpful!

Anyway, it sounds like a great idea!!!

[Leah123]

I wonder if she'd be willing to say she was glad to be there for me as my good enough mother or something, which is something she's said in person and email. It would be very affirming to have that permanently. Like the crux of the relationship to hold onto.

Might sound odd to some, but she talks about how therapy can provide some corrective experiences, I know it's been very helpful for me, for example, to have her guidance on parenting my daughter, so in that way, she's been like a substitute mother to me, giving advice and support and empathy that a real mother would give her grown-up daughter.

[archipelago]

What a nice thing to think about and to do. I have some recordings on my phone of my therapist that are really nice to have. He does hypnosis so it is sort of like a relaxation thing. The one I like the best is one we totally improvised and co-created. I needed something more activating so it was him saying all these fun things we were doing on the beach and in the ocean. I like it because it is so playful and cheerful.

He hasn't voice recorded any of the nice things he has said or thinks about me, but I have texts where he says them and that is nice. Perhaps a video including that more personal address would be what you are looking for.

For a little twist, maybe you would like her to surprise you with her telling you about something she likes that she hasn't mentioned and you don't know. Stuff like that I find humanizing

Since my t is far away, she makes me videos sometimes. My favorites are just her talking to me, offering some encouragement, just being sweet.
I also have some fun videos of her and i together being silly (hiking together, feeding horses, etc) that help me feel better because it triggers good memories of those times when she and i made the videos.

[Leah123]

I guess honestly, I'll just be sort of satisfied to simply *see* her moving, speaking, smiling, etc. I've had a still photo, the sound of her voice and typewritten words so far. I will say, it's quite nice having some of our sessions in writing though!

Will be cool to see her animated.

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by guilloche

Oh Leah, that sounds neat! ... and I love to brainstorm!

- I *love* the idea of relaxation exercises or guided imagery... although, if the point is to SEE her, that might not be best (since I assume you'll close your eyes for the exercises!)

- Since you're remote, what about a quick tour of her office... where you'd normally see her, if you were in-person? Or is this too far from the idea of seeing *her* on the tape?

- Repeating any lessons that you've learned, but sometimes need reminders of? You know, like... "Remember... it is ALWAYS OK to ask for what you want, even if the other person says no!"

- Any shared jokes?

- I hope she'll put some lovely positive thoughts about what she likes best about you... for you to listen to if you're feeling down. Maybe it's just me, but I think that would be so helpful!

Anyway, it sounds like a great idea!!!

Thanks for brainstorming with me!

I have really enjoyed visualizations with her. That's a good point about closing my eyes though, but... I could still peek, haha, and even having the sound of her voice recorded if I do close my eyes would be nice. We've done one I like around a safe space I created, and other ones to express my creativity, like imagining my own perfect Christmas tree that I loved, so those are both options (not Christmas specific, but something similar.)

I don't know if she'd give me a tour of her space as she works from home. She has described the space to me. The other thing I'm not sure about is whether she'll have a mobile video camera or not. She is not tech savvy so I've suggested to her that she just do a simple recording from her web cam.

I wonder what reassuring or affirming messages would be best, probably something about being vulnerable, like she often says it's okay to just have a good cry or to take care of myself.

Other messages, not sure, will have to give it some thought. Maybe things about being authentic and doing what makes me happy- she does have one good memorable line I like "If momma's not happy, nobody's happy" - that was a good one for me, especially at first, to say it was okay to prioritize myself sometimes. That and asking for help, yes, would be a good one.

It would be nice to have some humor in there, I enjoy her humor.

Will have to keep thinking.

I hope hope hope this works out soon.

[Bipolarchic14]

How about a reminder of the progress you have made in therapy so far as encouragement for rough days.

[Leah123]

Ooh, what a good idea!!!

Uh oh though- what if I have a bad day and screw up?

Well, maybe it could remind me that progress isn't the same as perfection.

[sweepy62]

That's such a great keepsake and a mindfulness tool, all the ideas given are great. I would like poetry, a pep talk for when I'm down and feel like giving up. Things like that. Some nice musical background and for her to mention my name alot, and say stuff like we and us and our.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Leah123]

That's a great point Sweepy, I love in her emails when she writes "we" - that sense of being a team. Thanks.

[Aloneandafraid]

This sounds so lovely Leah. Please let us know what she does.
Wow - I would just LOVE something like this to keep from my T.
Well done for asking for it.
xxxx

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by archipelago

What a nice thing to think about and to do. I have some recordings on my phone of my therapist that are really nice to have. He does hypnosis so it is sort of like a relaxation thing. The one I like the best is one we totally improvised and co-created. I needed something more activating so it was him saying all these fun things we were doing on the beach and in the ocean. I like it because it is so playful and cheerful.

He hasn't voice recorded any of the nice things he has said or thinks about me, but I have texts where he says them and that is nice. Perhaps a video including that more personal address would be what you are looking for.

For a little twist, maybe you would like her to surprise you with her telling you about something she likes that she hasn't mentioned and you don't know. Stuff like that I find humanizing

Thank you. Yes, I love the visualizations we've co-created.

I'm sure she'll improvise something... will be interesting to see what. I told her no huge rush, but somehow I'm eager to have it done, even was a little afraid she'd drop off the planet before getting it to me or it'd prove too complicated, but... she's given her word she'll do it and that she's not going anywhere anytime soon, so that's good.

I guess I'm putting a lot of stock into one video, trying to fit everything in to it, but I suppose, the reality is... if she can make one, there's no reason she couldn't make another at some point, I mean, really, once she figures out the trick of recording via webcam, it shouldn't be so hard.

I'm kind of afraid of loss this week it seems. Fall gets me sometimes, though I'm seriously exhausted which must make me more pessimistic and needy-feeling.

[Leah123]

I just got back from the dentist and am wishing I could have a hug from my T. She's so comforting.

I was thinking, since the odds of me seeing her anytime soon are low, I wonder what she could convey via video that might be a good substitute. If anyone has ideas, I'd be grateful. I was thinking maybe about having her read me a snippet of a story, or even a little comforting message kind of like in a get well type card, I dunno.

I'm eager to get this video project going....don't know how to expedite it. I've told her the basics, but she's not super tech savvy. Maybe I'll ask her if she wants me to research the simplest solution for her to implement or something.... hard to deal with the logistics from far away.