[Asiablue]

I think my T got really irritated with me tonight. I was telling her why I was angry with her and I said something like " it's ok for you, you just go home and get to forget I exist, this is just your job, it's me who has to live with all this!"

OMG she got pissed at that lol. She raised her voice a tiny bit and said sternly or irritatedly or both... " THAT is NOT true. This is not the kind of job where I can just switch off at the end of the day. I DO care very much and I do think of you a lot outside, is it really so hard for you to believe you're in my heart and mind?"

Or something like that. I felt like I was getting into trouble a little bit. I finally riled her!
Tonight was a very tough session....

[archipelago]

I can tell that there is irritation but honestly it sounds like a positive thing overall. She is saying that you matter. If that happened because you pissed her off, well….?

Saying that it is only a job is something that they probably have heard before. It seems a pretty normal thing for a client to say and wonder about. Getting irritated probably proves she is being genuine about what she said. That's how it reads anyway.

I've challenged my therapist in a way parallel--that he has had things work out and doesn't know what it feels like and can just go home to a nice comfortable life. He doesn't show irritation but sometimes does self-disclose about a difficult passage he went through, not in depth, but to remind me that it is all perfect and wonderful.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by archipelago

I can tell that there is irritation but honestly it sounds like a positive thing overall. She is saying that you matter. If that happened because you pissed her off, well….?

Saying that it is only a job is something that they probably have heard before. It seems a pretty normal thing for a client to say and wonder about. Getting irritated probably proves she is being genuine about what she said. That's how it reads anyway.

I've challenged my therapist in a way parallel--that he has had things work out and doesn't know what it feels like and can just go home to a nice comfortable life. He doesn't show irritation but sometimes does self-disclose about a difficult passage he went through, not in depth, but to remind me that it is all perfect and wonderful.

She was irritated. She's probably sick of being accused of forgetting about me.

I didn't mean it as in " this is just a job to you." I just meant, she can put it all away for the night, all the emotions. It's a job, she gets a break from it all, she can put it away for the day or weekend or when she just needs to get away from it. I never get a break from the emotions it all brings up.

[wotchermuggle]

I had to chuckle at your post, as I said that to a therapist once. It certainly feels that way doesn't it! I think it's the truth. Therapists very likely think of us outside of session, but they don't actually LIVE our LIVES. We don't get a break.

[archipelago]

Once I had a dream that I remember because I told my old therapist. The two of us were walking around during some holiday season like Thanksgiving or Christmas, looking in at people gathering together all celebrating with food and smiles.

I started to explain the feeling tone of the dream, but for some reason he got it all wrong. I had felt it was about how I felt excluded from enjoying life like other people, things that people can take for granted. But somehow he interpreted as being about how he and I shared a common interest in good food and wine. It was quite telling. And of course made it even more apparent that he had no clue what it was like for me.

[RRex]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I think my T got really irritated with me tonight. I was telling her why I was angry with her and I said something like " it's ok for you, you just go home and get to forget I exist, this is just your job, it's me who has to live with all this!"

OMG she got pissed at that lol. She raised her voice a tiny bit and said sternly or irritatedly or both... " THAT is NOT true. This is not the kind of job where I can just switch off at the end of the day. I DO care very much and I do think of you a lot outside, is it really so hard for you to believe you're in my heart and mind?"

Or something like that. I felt like I was getting into trouble a little bit. I finally riled her!
Tonight was a very tough session....

That's too bad, isn't it? If therapist doesn't like it therapist can find a new job.

I don't believe for one minute that we patients occupy their hearts or minds.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by RRex

That's too bad, isn't it? If therapist doesn't like it therapist can find a new job.

I don't believe for one minute that we patients occupy their hearts or minds.

Well, I just got shouted at for voicing that opinion lol

[Petra5ed]

On the plus side at least she seems to care!!! I would be more upset if she just nodded in agreement like yep, and I'm about to go home and forget you ever existed .

When I first saw the topic I thought, lol welcome to the club. I think I've irritated mine as well with my terminal negativity. Oh well, I just hope he can care about me despite it all.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

On the plus side at least she seems to care!!! I would be more upset if she just nodded in agreement like yep, and I'm about to go home and forget you ever existed .

When I first saw the topic I thought, lol welcome to the club. I think I've irritated mine as well with my terminal negativity. Oh well, I just hope he can care about me despite it all.

Yes, it wasn't the worst thing in the world to be shouted at for lol but it was just... weird, in over a year she's never got stern or raised her voice. I was a bit shocked and felt a bit chastised or something.

[Soccer mom]

I said almost the exact thing to my T 2 weeks ago. She said "you really think I don't think about it". I said well maybe snippets. She shook her head and said no. She also seemed irritated. Lol

[Wren_]

It can be easy to focus on the irritation (at least I know I do that) but wondering ... regarding what she was saying,
Did you believe her?

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I said almost the exact thing to my T 2 weeks ago. She said "you really think I don't think about it". I said well maybe snippets. She shook her head and said no. She also seemed irritated. Lol

I just can't imagine what it's like to be a therapist obviously. Because to me, not matter how much you love your job and adore your clients... you still want a break from it. It is still work and you still want holidays from it. I worked with people in a care setting and I was still ready to go home and try and forget about the day.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

It can be easy to focus on the irritation (at least I know I do that) but wondering ... regarding what she was saying,
Did you believe her?

Did I believe her? Hmmm I don't think she was lying, I believe she is sincere. I guess I just can't imagine me featuring all that much in her life when she's not at work?

I said the same thing to my t once. I thought she was going to throw things at me. Definitely not the thing to do again

[boredporcupine]

It's OK to irritate your T. However I know enough T's as friends to know they absolutely go home and think about their clients and worry about them. Even though they lecture us in school not to do that too much. It's kind of impossible not to.

[Wren_]

Did I believe her? Hmmm I don't think she was lying, I believe she is sincere. I guess I just can't imagine me featuring all that much in her life when she's not at work?

I find it really hard to believe as well; especially because i believe the balance of thinking must be so far different ... i hope you can keep talking through this with your T

[Soccer mom]

I wish my T was more verbal like saying she cares.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

I think my T got really irritated with me tonight. I was telling her why I was angry with her and I said something like " it's ok for you, you just go home and get to forget I exist, this is just your job, it's me who has to live with all this!"

OMG she got pissed at that lol. She raised her voice a tiny bit and said sternly or irritatedly or both... " THAT is NOT true. This is not the kind of job where I can just switch off at the end of the day. I DO care very much and I do think of you a lot outside, is it really so hard for you to believe you're in my heart and mind?"

Or something like that. I felt like I was getting into trouble a little bit. I finally riled her!
Tonight was a very tough session....

Does your sense of self worth diminish for seeing your T's frustration level rise? I am looking at the phrase of feeling a little bit 'in trouble' with your T. At the same time, is it truly being in trouble? Could a display of irritation come from another's feeling of having a career in helping others minimized by stating how 'seemingly' easy it is for her to turn off her feelings at the end of the day?