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#1
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I am just wondering how easy/hard people have found it to talk about sex, sexuality or sexual experiences with their T?
I want to discuss these things with my T but I really feel embarrassed!
__________________
“Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
![]() Ford Puma
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![]() Ford Puma
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#2
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I don't find sex all that difficult to talk about with anyone, including a therapist. It is not relevant to why I see a therapist, so it does not come up much, but when it has, sex itself has not been a hurdle for me.
The therapist has tried using more slang for male body parts a couple of times in reference to some things that went on as a child. But that was manipulation on her part and I simply scoffed and went on as I was. She admitted she had chosen the words for effect.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#3
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Just have to pluck up the courage to read it now ![]() |
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#4
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You know what's odd. I work on a field were I have had "patients" in another modality, and I find it incredibly easy to talk to ask about sex/give advice/and hear them talk about sex. I honestly just handle it like another topic.
Even so, I have a hard time talking to my therapist about it - I think it has to do with a couple of things: 1) She is a beautiful woman and I'm attracted to her (I'm female), 2) She has never asked about sex even at times I thought it would have been relevant. Essentially, I can talk to anyone about sex except my therapist! I wonder if I'm picking up on some slight discomfort in her part. |
#5
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It is very difficult. I never talk about sex with anybody - I never have, so I'm not sure what is okay to say or not. (No, I know that everything and anything is okay to say to T, but knowing that intellectually is one thing, acting on it is another!)
It helps that T is male, because I can't even imagine talking to a female about anything that has to do with sex or bodies. It also helps that he is a medical doctor and is extremely matter-of-fact and clinical in that kind of discussion. Last edited by Anonymous200320; Sep 12, 2014 at 11:48 AM. |
#6
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Very difficult topic to talk about, but I'm sure that your therapist has heard it all before. And I would tell you not to feel embarrassed but we both know it's not that easy.
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
#7
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I find it very difficult to talk about. But little by little, I'm figuring out how I can comfortably verbalize it. I don't like slang words, but clinical words are embarrassing for me to say. So I use words like: intimate, in the mood, chest, pelvic region, etc.
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"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
#8
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I prefer the word crotch
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![]() Favorite Jeans, JustShakey, Terabithia
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#9
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__________________
Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
![]() Aloneandafraid, Favorite Jeans, unaluna
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#10
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Eeeekkkkkkkkk, i run far from that topic
__________________
Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
![]() Aloneandafraid
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#11
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I am so glad that I am not attracted to my T as that would definitely make it more difficult! I think the poem is a great idea, as once you say the graphic words it may be OK to say them again in a different context. Good luck! Quote:
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__________________
“Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
![]() Aloneandafraid
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#12
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Me too! So have I, up till now!
__________________
“Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
![]() Aloneandafraid
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![]() Aloneandafraid, unaluna
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#13
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T said it was funny that I tried to avoid the word when I am so forthright and frank in my writing. (A lot easier than talking though!) |
#14
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it was very difficult at first, but got easier with time, but it's still not easy by any means
he sometimes fills in the words that I am choking to get out Hankster - keep your dirty mind away from this post ![]() |
![]() unaluna
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![]() unaluna
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#15
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Thanks, I hope that it does get easier...it never will unless I actually SAY IT!
__________________
“Change, like healing, takes time.”. Veronica Roth, Allegiant |
#16
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I generally find it easy to talk about sex, but try to recognize that others will not be all that comfortable with it sometimes. Trigger warning for sexual discussion:
For instance, my H is not all that comfortable talking about sex. Our marriage counselor was remarkably dense sometimes. I was trying to explain how weirdly MUCH my H was talking at one point. Like talking incessantly. I tried to explain that H was talking while I was doing something that I knew he did not want me to stop doing to reply, so I thought he should just lie there and groan like a normal person and NOT TALK. MC just didn't get it until I spelled out that I was giving him a BJ and for me, acceptable BJ conversation is limited to my name, god's name, and 'faster' or 'slower,' and THAT'S IT. My H was horrified. MC about fell out of his chair laughing and I was unfazed. Even when H was having sexual issues that it seemed like a marriage counselor could help with, he did not want MC to know about it or to discuss it with him. |
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#17
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I've had some difficulty talking to t about sex. Especially when I was trying to tell her I'd realized that I'm bisexual, that was so hard to say I finally did just blurt it out and of course it was no big deal. We've talked about it since cuz not long ago I met a woman that I've been totally crushing on and it's been weird cuz at the same time was going thru a rough patch in my marriage and not at all sure I wanted to be with my h anymore. So t asked what I missed about being with a woman, stuff like that. Uncomfortable, but easier than when we initially talked about the general topic. Maybe that was just cuz I had no one else to listen. I have not seen E. (the object of said crush) for several months so that has settled down. I've had dreams that t said were sexual in nature, that I didn't think were, and was totally embarrassed when she pointed it out. Glad that on the phone, she can't see how red my face gets.
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#18
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My psychiatrist sees patient after patient for 15 minutes at a time back to back. When I used to see him for 30 minutes I noticed times when he'd start to drift off a little. All I had to do was mention something about sex and he'd perk right up.
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#19
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#20
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My T used to be reverend. I was super reluctant to discuss sex and actually still am. I'm sure she would be fine and says she doesn't mind but it's still tricky. Luckily I don't really have anything to say about sex so it's no big deal.
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#21
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#22
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#23
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Omg.. Thanks for that, I am not sure it was meant for me to LOL to, but I did.. ![]() But it did open my eyes to something.. I was going to come here and say... its not my favorite topic to talk about with T, but it has gotten easier over time. Considering, I am dealing a lot with my sexuality, rape, csa, we have had a lot of conversations revolving around sex. However, I am not sure I could openly come out and say I give my husbands bjs (even if it was relevant to the conversation) so obviously I still have some hang ups. OP- most Ts are very used to talking about sex.. it may feel awkward at first, but it does really seem to get easier over time!
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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#24
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I have been trying for three years and only lately have I brought it up but my T says it destabilises me, so we have backed off. We have only talked about it in a general and not very emotional semse.
Last edited by Anonymous37844; Sep 12, 2014 at 08:14 PM. |
#25
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Ironically, I am ok discussing it but it is obvious she is uncomfortable...it makes me laugh.
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