Would your T force you to do something?

My T won't force me to do anything. I asked him once, 'do I have to?' and he said no, it was entirely up to me. He said a good therapist will not force a patient to discuss something or do something that would upset them and set them back.

Is this T experienced at all in trauma work? My T has often talked about how vital it is not force trauma survivors to do ANYTHING. So much damage has already been done by taking away the person's choice, that it is easy to re-traumatize the person or damage the therapeutic relationship if the T tries to force or make the person speak or take some action.

Sorry, I'm still all bent about this on your behalf. She sound incompetent as far as trauma work goes.

I'm glad you're going to discuss it with her. I've never heard of a t forcing someone to do something they don't want to do - unless following a really strict approach which the client has already agreed to. My t once suggested doing some role playing activities and that made me really uncomfortable. She picked up on that and hasn't suggested since. I always worry she might again though

She'd never force me. She does strongly encourage me to do things and it can seem like she's forcing me, but I know from experience that when I've put my foot down she's been completely cool with that and hasn't made me.

I've just checked her credential on a website and it mentions a lot of behavioral therapy mainly for eating disorders, ADD, BPD, OCD... She's told me she's done trauma therapy before, but doesn't seem to have too much experience with it.

What struck me as weird was when a few months ago she told she discussed me with her supervisor and she said that until then she hadn't realized the impact the abuse had on my life. How could she not have realized?

She's helped me a lot with my BPD, but sometimes I wonder if I should find another T for trauma work. Problem is I can only afford Pdocs and haven't found one yet that advertises trauma work.

HOLY ****. This woman is not competent to treat anyone who has experienced trauma. Where I am, Pdocs are usually the most expensive treatment providers. What about a psychologist? Or clinical social worker? I have a friend who sees a man with a social work degree who is really great with trauma.

ETA: If I were you (and I'm not telling you what to do), I would run the **** away!

Here Pdocs are the only treatment paid for by insurance, everything else is out of pocket and I can't afford it.

English isn't my first language and I think I phrased this wrong. She realized the abuse had some huge impact on my life. She never dismissed that, but what she failed to realize was that still living in the house it all happenned in keeps me from moving forward.

At first her treatment plan was to stabilize me enough to be able to do trauma work, then help me build an independant life. But since she has realized that the trauma was much worse than she had anticipated (The session after the one I went into some details she admitted that she hadn't expected it to be that bad) and that working on it while I still live there is a no-go. So now the plan is for to work full-time, move out and start trauma work afterwards. Which means we're stuck until I get my full time job as I'm as stable as I can hope to be without addressing the trauma.

She also knows I've been previously re-traumatized be a T I had to see at university, and is very careful not to push me on the trauma issue.

I think what happenned with the role playing is that in the moment, she didn't realize how big a deal this is to me. She must have thought it was my usual shyness and lack of self-esteem, nothing more... And here's the worst to me: it's not that I don't want to at least give it a try, I just don't want to have to do it.

You know what? I totally understand that. It's exactly how I feel when my T suggests something. She's always very careful not to make it a requirement, because she knows that if it's something I "have to do" then I will resist it. If it's something that I have a choice about, then I will think about it, decide if it's something I'm willing to try, and then try it.

A lot of things T has suggested for me, I've initially met with resistance. If T had pushed me on it, I'd have resisted harder. Instead, T tells me why she thinks it might be a good idea, why she thinks it will help, and then invites me to talk about my resistance. Usually, by the time I've talked about my resistance, I'm halfway convinced to try whatever it is.

As you may have noticed from my big reaction when it's not even happening to me, I also have issues when someone tries to make me do things, even if the thing is something I might not mind doing ordinarily. I don't think that reaction is that unusual.

I would just reframe things for myself. No one else can force you to do something so I would quit telling myself I had to to it because you do not. As you have pointed out you could just not go to those sessions and as others have pointed out you could just not participate when it is your "turn" but I don't think anything can change unless your thoughts about the whole thing change.

If my T wanted me to do something enough that she was willing to word it so strongly, I would put a "red flag" there as in, "This must be important to her" and, in therapy, if my T thought something was important it got a closer look from me. If you want to give it a try, then do just that. If you don't like it or it triggers you or whatever, you stop.

I believe mental health professionals should always allow their clients to control the pace of their progress. There is no point forcing someone to get better because that is a contradiction in itself. I read of one your other posts on this thread and it does appear that she is not qualified to undertake trauma work. Is it possible to find another treatment provider who specialises in that? I find that psychiatrists often aren't best cut out for this type of work (seems like psychologists/therapists take a better approach), but if your insurance only pays for that then at least get one who has more experience?

My T would not force me to do anything too. If I show hesitance, she would follow up with, "Is that okay?" That's one of the things I like about her. I'm not into art therapy but we've done that once, though she could sense that my reluctance was due to my general apathy and lack of willingness to try new things. We never did another session though.

As I've said I've checked all Pdocs in my country and absolutely none advertises working on trauma. Due to group I've met quite a few persons who have been trough a number of Pdocs and all say she's one of the best. Most don't do therapy at all and try to push meds...

T's that specialize on trauma are easy to find, but unfortunately I can't afford them out of pocket. The only solution would be going to a centre that offers free therapy, but I've been there before and it never provided me with the level of care I needed.

Technically, you don't have to do it even if your T tells you you have to. It's your choice. No one can force you to do anything. There are pros and cons to every choice, but it's still a choice.

My T has pushed some things on me. Most things I do. Some things I'm 100% against, and she stops pushing. Some things I'm just not ready for. Example: socializing. I know socializing will help me immensely, but I'm terrified of it. My T wants me to join a group, a class, get a volunteer or part-time job. I'm just not ready to take that step.

Do what you feel is right for you. If it's too much, don't do it. If you believe the role playing will be beneficial to you, then try to push yourself to do it. In the end, it's your call.

Problem solved for this week: I'm scheduled to pick up some essential materials for work on Monday night. There's absolutely no way I can make it to group....

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I would not appreciate being spoken to like that by my T, especially in front of other people.

My T says I don't have to do anything other than turn up and pay for my sessions. I am free to reject, refuse or ignore anything he says or suggests.

If he suggests something and I'm really against it he might want to discuss it, but it's up to me, not him.

My T could never force me to do roleplay no more than he could force me to do a handstand. I just wouldn't be able to do it.

Exactly. My therapist never forced me. She will say she has some ideas, ask what I want to try. Def talk to your pdoc-remember you/your insurance pay her-so she works for you and cannot make you do anything...can you explain/or write it as letter and hand to her, sometimes easier for me than trying talk about it

No - my t wouldn't try to force me to do something. He is big on choice.....I'm the one who forces myself to do stuff when I really need to stop and figure out why I am hesitant to begin with.....in some ways, my T tries to slow me down.

Y my ex therapist used to try to force me to do things all the time that i hated. She would threaten to terminate me and things like that. New therapist wouldnt even think about doing such a thing, although i am Sure there are some things she would love to get me to do