[liquidfox]

What are other people's experience of overwhelming silence/intensity of feeling in the room?

I was trying to tell my therapist something (I hate the T abbreviation for some reason) and I couldn't so I told him I needed to stop there and to talk about something else. There was this silence, a kind of overwhelming intensity of emotion (I was trying not to burst into tears and luckily I didn't), which he suddenly described as a 'void in the room'. This has been bothering me ever since because a 'void' literally means 'emptiness' or 'nothingness' but the feeling I got was exactly the opposite and I think he must have got that feeling too. So confused.

[HazelGirl]

Maybe a void of being able to express anything? Maybe you could talk to him about it?

[Leah123]

You know... I wonder if void was an imperfect word choice. Remember, we're not all walking thesauruses.

When you described that silence, and I thought about the deepest, most powerful and painful silences in my therapy, I actually envisioned something a bit different- a black hole. The black hole isn't empty- I imagine it as a place of massive energy and intensity so vast that it just draws the power from all around it, like that concentrated silence you describe.

Perhaps he didn't mean 'nothingness' but moreso the pull of that silence, the force of it, the strain of it.

[liquidfox]

Yes I think you're both right. Just over-analysing. Thanks for replies.

(I don't like the abbreviation either.)

[stopdog]

I would ask what the therapist meant and tell them what a terrible word choice they had made.

[Petra5ed]

Yeah, I've always really detested the "T" abbreviation as well. We have epic silences coupled with intense eye contact. It's usually caused by me thinking something "wrong" like how much I want to touch/ make out with / f*** my therapist. He will sometimes ask me "what are you thinking about?" And I will smile and say "nothing" because what else can I say?? Lol, should I say, I'm thinking about how much I want to come over there and f your brains out?

Void sounds like you were disassociating. Very common. I can only stay on some topics for so long before my brain shuts off. If you ask me it's healthy, it's just your way of saying enough is enough for the day (IMO) I can only ruminate for so long and I think that's healthy! But then again, I'm no expert so...

[liquidfox]

Wasn't disassociating. But the word does suggest that - maybe he was lol?

I also hate using the abbreviation T for therapist. I always spell it out. I'm not sure why, but it is what it is. I'm not bothered by other's using the shortened form; it's just not for me.

I also hate it when a therapist comments on silence--equating it to "emptiness". I get this all the time: "Do you experience silence as an emptiness?" or "Do you have a feeling of emptiness?" As a person with psychological training, I do understand that question of "emptiness" and it irritates me. No, I don't feel empty or without an identity. Sometimes silence is difficult for me, especially when I'm talking about something that is emotionally triggering for me, but sometimes, silences are comforting and welcomed. I feel that sometimes therapists, especially new and experienced ones, immediately fall back on the believe that some personality disordered individuals feel chronically empty and alone when silences are prominent in therapy. :::::groan::::: Why does one size always fit all???

Sometimes a silence is needed to think and formulate an response that makes sense and means something!

[RedSun]

[QUOTE=Petra5ed;4030119]Yeah, I've always really detested the "T" abbreviation as well. We have epic silences coupled with intense eye contact. It's usually caused by me thinking something "wrong" like how much I want to touch/ make out with / f*** my therapist. He will sometimes ask me "what are you thinking about?" And I will smile and say "nothing" because what else can I say?? Lol, should I say, I'm thinking about how much I want to come over there and f your brains out?

Would you try it? Man, that would create a silence!

Yes, I think the word choice is a bit off...but I might use void to mean gap between us that needs crossing? Like he feels the distance?

[Partless]

Originally Posted by liquidfox

I hate the T abbreviation for some reason

Tell your T about it.

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

Sometimes a silence is needed to think and formulate an response that makes sense and means something!

This is pretty much what my therapist says about silences, that he is giving me space to think and consider what he may have said.

I often time find silences difficult, and one time I realised how long the silence was and in my head I was thinking "Ok then, I can be silent longer than you, I'll show you....... so are you going to talk yet!.......say something.....SAY SOMETHING......I'm not going to be first........oh this is killing me.....COME ON!!........oh for gawds sake" then out loud I threw at him "So you're just going to sit there and say nothing??!!"

We eventually laughed at my behaviour......

[liquidfox]

Yes, I think the word choice is a bit off...but I might use void to mean gap between us that needs crossing? Like he feels the distance?[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

My ex therapist and i used to have long, intense silences in the room. I found them uncomfotable and a bit scary. New therapist and i rarely have silence, as we both constantly talk each other's ears off

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by liquidfox

What are other people's experience of overwhelming silence/intensity of feeling in the room?

I was trying to tell my therapist something (I hate the T abbreviation for some reason) and I couldn't so I told him I needed to stop there and to talk about something else. There was this silence, a kind of overwhelming intensity of emotion (I was trying not to burst into tears and luckily I didn't), which he suddenly described as a 'void in the room'. This has been bothering me ever since because a 'void' literally means 'emptiness' or 'nothingness' but the feeling I got was exactly the opposite and I think he must have got that feeling too. So confused.

Or just move the quotation mark a little to the left - you were trying to AVOID bursting into tears and that left a void of energy in the room.