[SheHulk07]

It's a while off (February), but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I've never gone to therapy before when my older 2 we newborns. In fact I didn't start therapy until they were 4 & 5.

However, given everything that I've been through in the last year, I don't feel like I'll be ready to stop once the baby comes & I'm worried about postpartum depression. My husband works during the week, so I wouldn't be able to have him watch her, and I don't like leaving my newborns with my mom or mother in law when I'm nursing them. Which, it seems though that my only choice would be to stop for at least a few months. And that scares me!

What are your thoughts? Anyone been through a similar situation? My cousin suggested just bringing her with in the carseat, since she'd likely sleep anyway. I want to discuss it eventually with my T.

[Leah123]

Can you hire a sitter, someone you like, maybe someone you arrange for before baby comes? You'd only need the sitter for perhaps 2-3 hours depending on commute time, and they can usually be had pretty inexpensively.

I agree that stopping at that very vulnerable, tiring time might be counterproductive.

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Can you hire a sitter, someone you like, maybe someone you arrange for before baby comes? You'd only need the sitter for perhaps 2-3 hours depending on commute time, and they can usually be had pretty inexpensively.

I agree that stopping at that very vulnerable, tiring time might be counterproductive.

That's the issue. I could have my mom or mother in law watch her, but since I'll be nursing, I don't like to leave them at all the first few months with anyone but my husband.

[Leah123]

I'm not sure how the nursing affects their ability to be cared for by others for such a short period of time? If they nurse prior to your session and after...?
I presumed there was something specific about your mother and MIL that made you wary of leaving the newborn.

I nursed for the first two years plus and didn't see any adverse affects from leaving for short periods like that 2-3 hours in terms of the nursing or bonding.

[HazelGirl]

I don't think it would be a problem to bring a newborn along. Most T's are used to that kind of thing.

[sailorboy]

My child was formula fed but I brought him to session twice - once just because he was little and sleeping and once when it was unavoidable. The first time he slept in the car seat and the second I held him. They're so little in the newborn stage it really wasn't a big deal.

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I'm not sure how the nursing affects their ability to be cared for by others for such a short period of time? If they nurse prior to your session and after...?
I presumed there was something specific about your mother and MIL that made you wary of leaving the newborn.

I nursed for the first two years plus and didn't see any adverse affects from leaving for short periods like that 2-3 hours in terms of the nursing or bonding.

I'm just going off of my experiences with my older 2. They would just cry when I left them, even if they did nurse beforehand. Plus, I just don't feel comfortable leaving them for 2-3 hours that early on.

[BonnieJean]

I'd bring the newborn along to t. At times I used to bring someone along with me to watch my newborns if I had a dentist appointment or something. It made the time of separation shorter.

[msxyz]

I wold just take a newborn along with me, not an older nursing baby, but a newborn yes.

[Leah123]

Babies and grammas will truly both be fine left to their own devices for 2-3 hours once a week, some crying isn't neglect, but I understand if you choose not to leave the infant's side for months. It is very taxing though and I wonder if you consider the effect on your mental health, which affects them, if you don't get enough breaks, especially considering your worry about postpartum depression?

It's very easy as a mother to back ourselves into the 'there is no solution' corner - I see you wrote above "my only choice" so keep in mind, there really are more choices.

At any rate, I hope you find a good solution!

[Tongalee]

I saw a woman at my ts office who brought her newborn with her. I asked her how it was going in with the baby and she said it was fine because she slept the whole time. She was a little hesitant though saying that she felt bad letting her baby in the room when sometimes their conversations were negative. She felt like putting the baby in that negatively charged atmosphere was potentially damaging for her. I'm not sure how i feel admit that, but I guess I can see where she was coming from.

Talk to your t, I'm sure she's experienced that before.

[BonnieJean]

Or maybe you could try phone sessions for a couple of months.

[SallyBrown]

My son is almost 16 weeks, and I took him with me to my pdoc and T during my maternity leave. I had to take public transport to get there, so I had to wait a few weeks, which were chaos anyway, but I stayed in touch with T during that time through other means. It makes the session somewhat less productive, but it worked out well and I was happy to have both of them meet my little guy. If he got hungry I just nursed during the session or in the waiting room. Definitely talk to your T about it -- it helped me a great deal to continue to have that outlet and source of care .

As a mother of 2....I see nothing wrong with bringing a newborn to your session with you. I get not leaving your newborn with you mother or mother in law.... My mother has never ever babysat my kids and they are teenagers now... Everyone's family situation is different...

[SheHulk07]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

As a mother of 2....I see nothing wrong with bringing a newborn to your session with you. I get not leaving your newborn with you mother or mother in law.... My mother has never ever babysat my kids and they are teenagers now... Everyone's family situation is different...

Thank you. I really appreciate your response.

I went back to school when both my sons were newborns, and leaving them put way more stress on me than staying home with them. I knew neither of them took their bottles, and I'd hear them screaming over the phone. If my T allows it, I think my best bet will just to bring her along for the first 2-3 months.

[SheHulk07]

Also, I do want to mention that if my husband still is able to get 1 day off during the week like he is now, I'd probably be able to schedule my sessions on those days and leave her home with him. That's my ideal goal is to work it out that way.

[likelife]

I brought my daughter to therapy starting at about 3 weeks postpartum and through my maternity leave. It was distracting at times, yes, but I didn't have childcare and didn't want to miss therapy. At one session with my pdoc, my daughter had a diaper blowout and my pdoc got down on the floor and helped me change her! To be fair, she's a postpartum specialist, so is very used to babies coming along with moms, but I definitely felt like she went above and beyond!