[SoupDragon]

This is what my T said to me. He wasn't being mean, but was making the point that its normal 6 feel sad so what's the big deal. If he had said this to me a year ago l would have been deeply offended, but right now l really get his point.

Soup, I get it too

[Victoria'smom]

Sad and depressed are to different things. He's probably trying to help you figure out the difference. I'm sorry you're sad. What happened?

[Can't Stop Crying]

[SoupDragon]

A whole load of things over the last 2 weeks. My ex's new partner stepping more into a parental role with my kids (attending their parents evening at school) inevitable I know but still stings, my youngest was feeling poorly the last time he was there and rang me. It was horrible not being able to hug him and having to accept she would be the one comforting him. Probably looking at getting kicked out of Uni as I didn't keep them informed when I was unwell last year. I think my T is trying to work on my reactions to feeling sad which generally involves those behaviours that need trigger icons. So he made it clear that I might find what he was about to say challenging.

I think it's a sign of growth when we can feel what we feel and incorporate it as we carry on going about our life and not use to it to create a drama.

[SoupDragon]

Yes I agree Mouse, I'm just starting to understand that and hope this is going to be a big step forward for me.

[Elkino]

I think I get the point too. Doesn't mean I can act on it too though.
But I'm glad you learned so much and you're able to see it through a different perspective now. I hope you grow even more. :-)

It's actually more self nurturing.
When I use to create drama, I was actually abandoning my true feelings.
Happy you've found your T's words useful.

[Anne2.0]

I think it's big, especially after all you've been through.

I know for sure that I've changed in major ways when I stop reacting to the same thing in the same way.

And part of "sitting" with the feelings is a pretty nuanced understanding and enhanced self awareness, that sadness comes and goes, gets bigger or smaller, and we can either try to defend against it or accept it, chase it or push it away. It's just a part of life, taking the bitter with the sweet, it is definitely survivable and tolerable. The more I accept it just is, the faster it seems to move along and away from me.

How sweet for you to be able to reap the rewards of therapy.

[SoupDragon]

And l realise for me l could only take T's comment on board after yeas of sitting with him, building trust and respect. l am seeing all my previous doubts and trying to bolt episodes differently now. Today it feels like staying with this T has been the right thing for me afterall. He has had to pass all my credibility tests, not that these were conscious things.