When to terminate?

I have been in therapy with the same therapist for five years. He has seen me through many ups and downs and several hospitalizations. We have always worked well together and I have greatly benefited from his help but I keep wondering why I keep going to therapy. Whether I go to therapy or whether I don’t go to therapy I cycle up and down and will never be cured of my bipolar disorder. I have discussed all my past life events and every possible technique for smoothing out my mood swings that exists. So, I have terminated, again. The same story every time…I miss therapy...I miss my therapist...I can’t stand not going and I call back and make another appointment. The longest I’ve ever made it is six weeks. I feel addicted to therapy. Is it ever possible to quit therapy? Can you really just be so attached to your therapist that you can’t let them go? Can your mental illness and mood instability be so significant that you really truly need therapy on a long term ongoing basis or is there some irrational addiction to the process of someone meeting your needs and being there for you that makes it impossible to leave? How do you deal with attachments like this?

Yes, some people need therapy their whole life, especially for things like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, that are life-long debilitating illnesses.

I had therapy for 9 years, twice with the same therapist (with 9 years in between). It sounds like there is something pulling you back other than just the missing. I miss/think of my therapist and therapy but have too much else in my life that is more important and not enough that needs discussing with a professional anymore. I'm just living my life now and enjoying that.

Hi Samantha. I dont have an answer, but just want you to know I'm in the same boat and feel as you do. My T knows how I feel and has said he will help me separate from him, we'll see how it goes.

What does your T say about this? I have similar concerns with my own therapy....are you still working on the things you want to work on?

I had therapy for like 12 years to work on all of my problems. Then I quit for a long time.
Two years ago I fell into a serious depression so started up therapy with a new T. We mostly work on recovery skills.

When I have discussed it with my therapist, he always suggests I need some therapy as long as my bipolar disorder is so up and down. He has suggested lengthening the time between appointments if I want though. How does a T help you separate from him?

Some sessions are very insightful and I'm glad I went. Other times it seems like we discuss things that happened that week like a travel log but don't do much to help the root issue. Perhaps there aren't many other things to do to help the root issue.

My mental illness is chronic and requires medication so I'll always need to see a psychiatrist. The one I see now does therapy. Sometimes I worry what will happen when I stop therapy since I seemed to have bonded to her. I really like seeing her even when she irritates me.

I don't know if it is ever possible to quit therapy. This is my third time. The few people I know who did short-term therapy went for very specific problems and had no history of mental illness.

If you are not getting anything positive out of therapy anymore then it may be a good idea to take a break. You can always go back when you need to.

Some people say therapy is meant to be conducted with an end date in mind, and while that is true, I also believe that there are cases where we need therapy all our lives. I myself have bipolar disorder as well and OCD, and because I am not on medication, I constantly need to see a T to sort out my feelings. They can get very overwhelming and it helps to just talk them out with someone who cares every week. My T also happens to be a grounding influence, so having a session to look forward to the next week or a picture of her really helped me through some crises. I know that isn't the best coping mechanism but it's the only thing that works now and I'm grateful I at least have that. So yes, I do think therapy can be a life-long thing for people with permanent MI like bipolar and schizophrenia.

I believe I will need it my whole life, but not necessarily weekly. You can taper down or up as needed

First, your T needs to agree you are ready for separation. My T is not completely convinced I am ready. I think this may be why he is delaying the process. He did mention lengthening the times between visits and he knows this makes me anxious. On the last visit I asked him to help me deal with the loss I am fearing when I leave him. He says the answer is to find out what is at the core of my fear. I have no clue? I have a pretty stable and balanced life. It's mind boggling! I really feel I am going to miss him and his unconditional (except for the money part ) attention. So, I need him tell me how to cope and deal without him. If he comes up with a decent plan, I will let you know.